The joy of smut!

Hey folks!

I'm quite pleased to inform you that Lickety Split is now available at Joy Toyz (4200 boul. St. Laurent, Suite 415)!
Joy Toyz is a hidden gem in an office building on Montreal's Main. They are a sex toy shop that is sex-positive, inclusive, with a sense of community and a really friendly atmosphere. Check 'em out!

The Top 5 Pop-Culture-Themed Sex Toys

This past week at Nerve, I was given the arduous task of researching pop-culture-themed sex toys and writing a piece ranking them in order of greatness. (I know, my life is hard). And, while I wasn't able to go so far as to test them out, I did un-earth a wide variety of blow-up dolls, many of which I was unable to include in the list for fear they would overwhelm it.

Lucky for you, Lickety Loverrrs, I'm presenting you with the list on Nerve, and, one of my personal favorites that didn't make that list: The Beyonce Love Doll!

Yes, that's right folks, "you don't have to put a ring on this slutty siren."

Oh, my, what plumbing the depths of the internet will bring you!

Aloe-Va-It!

Friends, I have made an excellent new lube discovery.

Often plagued by sensitive lady parts that would force me to forgo sexy-times for weeks on end, I was recently thrilled to become reacquainted with the slippery healing power of Aloe Vera--this time in relation to my impatient vagina.

Let's face it. The glycerin in most water-based lubes is essentially sugar and, if you suffer from irritation from chronic yeast infections or a highly exuberant partner sex/self love regimen, other lubes--as natural as they claim to be--can sting and burn and put a disappointing end to happy times.

The great thing about Aloe, as I've discovered, is that not only does it provide quite a bit of moisture comparable to popular brands like KY Jelly, but it also soothes dryness and irritation, making it a terrific two- in-one dealio. Just make sure you get the colour and preservative free stuff, or better yet, a bedside Aloe plant, and you'll be ready to slip and slide and heal all at once!

Final note: while this discovery has not yet been tested for efficacy in non-vag related scenarios, it soon will be, and I encourage you to check back for more thoughts on the subject. Also, while I can talk jive like a pro, I'm no medical expert and I encourage you to use your own discretion in deciding whether it's time to seek some extra help in the name of your sexual health.

O for an O

Now that our neighbours down South have had him for almost two months, do you still want an Obama dildo to take you to that better place?

For more info check out headostate.com

Toss that Tired Shower Head and Catch the Wave!

Ok, maybe not. Let's not mess too much with the tried and true. However, if you are currently racking your brain desperately searching for a birthday gift that Twelve-year-old female in your life might actually use, why not consider giving her the Neutrogena Wave.

I was first alerted to the hidden "benefits" of the Wave while enjoying a little internet TV courtesy of the highly fuckable Sarah Haskins and her segment Target Women.

Marketed as a revolution in teenage facial cleansing, the Wave has "gentle vibrations that help open pores" in order to get that, ahem, "deep down tingly feeling" purportedly coveted by young women everwhere and which advertisers would have us believe is pretty much the next closest thing to nirvana.

Gentle vibrations, eh? Deep down tingling...wait a minute, I'm sorry, the Wave isn't for your face--it's for your fucking clit! Or, rather the aforementioned Twelve-year-old lady's curious clit! As Sarah Haskins' sarcastic deadpan bluntly puts it, "this product is definitely for washing your face."

I'll admit, I'm tickled pink by the idea that girls out there can start to further explore the magic of masturbation with something so perfectly counter intuitive as the Wave. I mean, the moral gulf between notions of cleanliness and notions of dirtiness/self-pleasure has plagued youth for centuries only to now culminate in the "cleansing" vibrations of the wave. Ha!

While not recommended as a substitute for frank and open talks about pre-teen/teenage sexuality and sexual health, the Wave certainly seems to be an introduction to the wonder of sex toys. Sweet and pink and available in assorted colours just like the dildos at any women oriented sex shop, while being more discreet than those rubber ducky vibrators, I can only hope that grrrls out there will soon be using the Wave for some much needed cleansing under the covers.