Well Done, Cinema L'Amour

Read a little bit about the history of Montreal's Premiere Smut Theatre Here

An Intimate Look At Everyday Folks' Relationship with Porn

Every once in awhile, a piece of art comes along that resonates so strongly with a feeling you have about a particular subject that you basically wish you'd made it yourself.

This for me, is one of those things.

Via Boing Boing via Wallpaper.com

More to come, but in the meantime: enjoy.

Wet Dream Alert

Destroyer - Kaputt from Merge Records on Vimeo.

One of our lovely Lickety Split contributors, Monogamie, alerted me to this video on FB. It's like all of a sudden I'm a gentle-yet-horny 14 year old boy who's a little pissed at his mom for pulling the blinds back while I'm secretly watching an American Apparel ad.

Man, parents just don't understand, do they?

Just Another Quickie Unloading On You

Seriously. This stuff is the best.

The G-Spot Has Been Located!

It does exist! I found the G-spot in Key West, although it’s clear it used to be in Beaver.

-Tristan Taormino

Via Tristan Taormino's Blog

Coney Island Loves Lickety Split!

Thanks, *safesolvent!

Beyond Human: The Sexy Robot Edition

Looks like Rhianna got those hunky robots a little too excited with her not so subtle song stylings!

Impromptu poll:

Robot Bukkake-Hotttt? Society is not ready? Yawn?

Let a girl know, ya'll.

Seriously though, do you have any thoughts about this fairly tongue and cheek approach to the money shot? Maybe Rhianna is a fan of a little squirt in the face? Should I lay off on a critique lest it lead to moral panic? Is what goes on between a horny robot and his consenting lady friend on the privacy of their own stage really my concern?

Here's the full performance for the curious:

Oh, the places you'll go and the things you'll come to know: the internet edition

If the personal is political, and everyday the internet is inundated with up to the minute personal info and stories about complete strangers, the good old world wide web must be a pretty politically charged space, non?

Yes, yes, I believe it is. But what kind of politics are these stories espousing? Well, darlin', that seems to be up to the army of bloggers out there staking their claims in the latest overshare scandals.

First up: Two teachers in Manitoba are suspended from work after students film them engaging in a pretty convincing lap dance, complete with pantomimed cunnilingus, during a good, old, wholesome pep rally. One is dressed as a teacher and the other is dressed as a football player. A pretty staid role playing/gender bending exercise in the bedroom--but is it too hot for homeroom?



Next: A young woman gets her lady bits VAGAZZLED and takes a few quick snaps for the folks at home. I guess cunt aesthetics are a matter of taste and personal choice, but I'm still wondering whether this kind of bling might interfere with my DDHRR or desired daily head receiving rate. I mean, what's a girl to do? Of course, Jezebel weighs in, and asks a few dudes what they think of the trend while completely overlooking the opinions of partners of non-heterosexual women. Tsk, tsk, ladies.


Finally, last but certainly not least, an American woman who calls herself AngieAnti-Theist live tweets her abortion. Check out the vid of her below and read more on the awesome Atomic Sex blog.

Girl, Get Nastyyyyy

All I wanna do is ziga zig-ahh!

I'll Make some coffee, put on some eyeliner...

I'll watch this Jon Lajoie video and give my feminist funny bone a little boost in spite of myself...



Have you ever seen something as problematic and objectifying as rap lyrics satirized into complete submission so darn quickly?

I guess it's the simple pleasures that'll help get this feminist through hump day.

Post title inspired by Le Tigre's Much Finer

No Clue? Try, No Homo

Check out this hilarious and incredibly astute discussion of the ludicrous use of the phrase "no homo" in recent rap songs. I could explain more but the clip goes everywhere I can think of, with of course, some of the MCs going even further. Enjoy!

That Girl Thinks She's the Queen of the Neighbourhood

I've got news for you--she is!

Check out this rebel yell of an interview with Kathleen Hanna, one of the original instigators of riot grrrl. Hanna recently donated her archived zines to NYU and she talks about her views on zines and blogs about halfway through the clip.



I think I wanna be her best friend, yeah!

Wa Wa Wee Wa

I've heard Christina Hendricks is getting a little tired of talking about her rockin' bod. As such, this post is all about keeping my lips sealed and my eyes wide open. Rowr.

The Only Timepiece You'll Ever Need

I'm waiting for someone to come up with an iphone app that's this direct.

Vintage Sexism, La La La

Ok, folks! It's time for another round of subvert the meaning, fuck all those assholes who think only men want hangers made of *very* shapely legs of flesh-coloured plastic *excalmation point,* OMG.

Seriously, though, I want 20 of these.

Also, on my holiday shopping list...

As remarked by Dodai on Jezebel.com, "The erotica phone is the "ultimate conversation piece," get it? Put the hole close to your mouth to begin. Are you at all surprised that the price is $69.95?"

Well put, ladies. Well put.

A Pump Like Never Before

Um...just when I thought there couldn't be anything more ridiculous than the Kush, the infomercial gods are at it again with the shake weight.

Wouldn't you sell more if you just used the shake weight's real name? Aka, the handjobitron?

Jeezus. Just look at those three dudes' ripply, hairless chests and strained faces. I wonder what they could be thinking.

Actually, this really reminds me of old "gym workout" videos that used to be sold to gay men through the mail in the 1950s.

Chuck Me!

October was a pretty crazy month here at Lickety Split, and as we enter November, there's still no sign of slowing down. That being said, about halfway through the month, and a few too many glasses of red wine later-I came up with the concept of Converse porn. I'm sure it all started with Jon's and my favourite game of pretending to be turned on by inanimate objects (don't ask) but, in any case, I was insistent on getting a real close up shot of me licking his shoe.


Have I struck a goldmine? Who knows. At least I'll have a project to work on when Montreal's subzero temperatures hit and I have a wicked case of cabin fever.

Ah, things to look forward to, dear readers.

An Endless Facial

Is gonna require a whole lotta tissues.

For those of you who like a little teeth

Is this taking the recent vampire revival to a whole new level, or what? Ever thirsting (sorry) to exploit the latest craze, this fleshlight in a soda can (wtf) is purported to really get your blood pumpin'. Just whip it out and soon your Eric Northman fantasies will be that much more vivid-or so they promise:

Polish up your stake and drive it into this soft, vampire mouth for an orgasm that will wake the living dead. Packing the same punch as the original Fleshjacks but housed in a compact soda can and featuring the exclusive Vampire Fang inner canal texture not found on any other Fleshjack product.

"An orgasm that could wake the living dead" - Sounds like the Dead Dolls will be getting a lot more bookings in the months to come.

Complete with a smutty photo gallery of some lucky dude getting his ahem, "stake polished," as well as a sexy video (which, sadly, I could not embed), the Count Cockula website is a must see.


Promise me you'll check it out, if only so you can come back and explain to me the connection between "a cum shooting experience so terrifying" and a soda can. Again, wtf.

Hardcore Pussy

Everyone needs a little love on a rainy Friday night.