For the Fangbangers

Bill Compton narrowly beat out the Viking Eric Northman by only $829. Together, both teams competing in the Battle Of The Fang raised almost $70,000 for charity! As Bill Compton is the reining king, Stephen Moyer got to choose the t-shirts himself. As you can see, his chosen shirt reads, “I Like My Bitches Blonde” while Alex’s says simply, “Bill’s Bitch!” Both these dudes got a sense of humor, is all we’re sayin’.

Via True Blood News

For those of you who like a little teeth

Is this taking the recent vampire revival to a whole new level, or what? Ever thirsting (sorry) to exploit the latest craze, this fleshlight in a soda can (wtf) is purported to really get your blood pumpin'. Just whip it out and soon your Eric Northman fantasies will be that much more vivid-or so they promise:

Polish up your stake and drive it into this soft, vampire mouth for an orgasm that will wake the living dead. Packing the same punch as the original Fleshjacks but housed in a compact soda can and featuring the exclusive Vampire Fang inner canal texture not found on any other Fleshjack product.

"An orgasm that could wake the living dead" - Sounds like the Dead Dolls will be getting a lot more bookings in the months to come.

Complete with a smutty photo gallery of some lucky dude getting his ahem, "stake polished," as well as a sexy video (which, sadly, I could not embed), the Count Cockula website is a must see.


Promise me you'll check it out, if only so you can come back and explain to me the connection between "a cum shooting experience so terrifying" and a soda can. Again, wtf.