Sunday, February 17, 2008

Concordia Coop Anti-Valentine -- L/S was there...



Last Wednesday evening Lickety Split had the pleasure of attending Concordia Co-op Bookstore's 5th annual Anti-Valentine's event.

It was a super fun and informal evening, and the turnout was really fantastic (you can't tell from the photos). Larissa's comedy stylings were a sweet surprise, as was the jam session at towards the end of the evening. Christina read her story ("Because They Loved Each Other They Played Twister" -- Issue #5) to much acclaim. Delicious cupcakes were enjoyed by all.







Saturday, February 16, 2008

Get Your Heart-On: The Dead Dolls Present O' My Bleeding Heart, A Post-Mortem Valentine for the Masses



You heard right, folks! Right on the decomposing heels of a frenzied, frightening fall and the jaw-breaking sucess of The Rotting Flesh Review, Montreal's Dead Doll Dancers are slithering out of the ground once more too offer you a post-mortem valentine! Come get your heart-on at O' My Bleeding Heart and these zombshells are sure to have you on the edge of your seat with all their tastelessly titillating treats!

Special guests include:

Nat King Pole- everyone's favourite inducer of wet panties, and

Big Moves- Boston's saucy, sexy spectacle of burlesque and size-acceptance all rolled into one well filled out corset.

Saturday feb 23
cafe cleopatra
showtime 9pm
doors open to start drinking -8pm

tickets at door $12

presale tickets $10
available at
Joy Toyz
514-845-8697
4200 boul. st. laurent suite 415 (corner rachel)

info/tickets: 514-561-9678

Now, to kick things off, LS presents:

The Dead Dolls Cock Suck Countdown!!!!

My, oh, my Miss Penelope Percacet has been getting some good ghoulish lovin' in the fifty years since she rose from the grave. Tune in every day or so for a new slice of proof that sometimes the best head of your life can cum after you're no longer living!
Cammy Mudflaps really seems to be enjoying herself!

Friday, February 15, 2008

Texas Repeals Ban on "Obscene Devices"

I.e., dildos, vibes, etc... A little tardy, but not too late to celebrate!

Here's a fascinating and hilarious excerpt from The Dildo Diaries doc explaining the history of Texan obscenity laws and the ingenious methods people have been using to circumvent them!

Did you know: Prior to the repeal if you owned 6 or more dildos in Texas you could be arrested for "intent to distribute", but if you owned 5 or less you were considered merely a "hobbyist". Hee.

Thursday, February 14, 2008

Weekly Video -- This Day Can Suck my Clit!!

Hi, forgive a gal who had a really, really bad 2007.

On this beautiful sunny day, which I actually have no quibbles with, I'm gonna go ahead and inject a healthy dose of venom into all the lovin' vibes smearing around out there. Fuck Valentine, fuck his cousin, and fuck his goddamn dog.

This phenomenal song by Kelis ("Caught Out There") goes out on behalf of myself, my lady-friends, my mother, my grammamica, and my nana. Yeah, that's right.



Yo, he's lyin'.

Wednesday, February 13, 2008

Morgantaler to be awarded Order of Canada -- Cast your vote


So a group of pro-choice activists have launched a campaign to award Henry Morgentaler the Order of Canada.

Morgentaler has been nominated twice already, but was passed over both times.
He has recently suffered a stroke and his health is failing. The Order of
Canada cannot be awarded posthumously. Read the article here.


Here's the urgent part. The Globe & Mail is conducting a poll on the question of whether or not Morgentaler should receive this award. So far, the 'no' side has received overwhelming support (like over 80% of votes cast). yik

Please cast your vote here.


Image from a demonstration held in Sherbrooke in 1979.

Sunday, February 10, 2008

Right, so, Leslie Hall. That was fun.



Here's the thing. There were way too many people. Why wasn't this show at a bigger venue? Why stuff a tiny venue to 10 times its capacity and deny a bunch of others admission, when there are plenty of other, larger places all over this city? The last time I was jostled within an inch of my life was 3 years ago at Club Soda (or maybe it was Metropolis) where I went to see The Killers—say what you will, that first album was, um, killer—and I swore to never put myself in that situation again. What is it about closed spaces that makes it acceptable for people to give you unapologetically dirty looks while they actively bum rush you? Why can't people behave, as they do, for example, at Faggity Ass Fridays? Leslie & The LYs are supposed to be fun, and you'd think the experience would be swathed in a general atmosphere of good vibes. Instead, you have a room full of people who are caught between their fanatic love for the people on stage and their deep-seeded hatred for the people around them. I lost my friends, have a couple bruises, and when I think back to the night, all I can really remember are the two unmentionably rude girls who violently pushed their way in front of us and spent the rest of the evening encouraging their friends to do the same. (In case you're curious as to why I insisted on staying rooted, I suppose it's 50% prideful righteousness—I was there first, dammit!—and 50% the desire to get a couple good photos for you, dear reader).

When I think a bit harder, I remember that Donzelle put on an amazing performance, as always. Roxanne was ON, Mo'skye sang to me, claiming she'd love me forever if I bought her a car, and Micomb did that thing where you grab your ankle and, um... you know... well, it was hilarious and awesome. And Leslie... where do I start? From her entrance to the on-stage costume change, the introduction by Cher, the backup dancers / singers / roadies / merch table girls, the evangelic naming-of-the-sweaters, the HAIR, the gems... it was, without a doubt, one of the most amazing performances I've ever seen, even without "Gold Pants Lullaby," which was notably absent from the playlist.

Would I go see Leslie & The LYs again? Perhaps... but certainly not at such a small place. I wouldn't bother taking photos. I'd probably stand in the back. In the meantime, I'm going to go look for bands absolutely no one has ever heard of and go see them instead.






Thursday, February 07, 2008

Weekly Video -- Show yo ass

What better video for this chilly, grey February day than The Coup performing their bittersweet song "Show yo ass." Sexy, angry and nostalgic all at once. Welcome to the 'month of love' doldrums...



Who doesn't have a crush on Boots Riley or, for that matter, Pam the Funkstress?

Wednesday, February 06, 2008

Beats, Booty and Cackling Sea Shanties: Body and Soul 5 Showcases a Unique Mix of Hotttt Women Performers

“I don’t like sausage, I like sauerkraut”
These words, bouncing powerfully off the lips of Giselle Numba One, were just one example of many gut-busting utterances of sheer prowess and joy perking my ears during Tuesday night’s edition of Festival Voix d’Amériques. The fifth installment of the aptly named Body and Soul night, the goal of its organizers was to break away from the limited amount of space and sexiness normally allowed women performers and aimed instead to showcase the kind of grrrls who simply can’t help but trample all over normative conventions of beauty and behaviour. As explained by artistic director D. Kimm, female artists can become so boxed in by criticisms concerning their bodies that it has the unfortunate effect of detracting attention from the recognition they deserve as artists. Having staged successful revolutions of roaring femininity for the past four years, the latest edition boasted a one-two punch beginning with the brazen bootyliciousness and slick tongues of Giselle Numba One and Donzelle and culminated with a special appearance by esoteric musician and artist Baby Dee.
Skipping up to the mic with a sly, don’t-mess-with-me pigeon-toed walk, Giselle Numba One immediately told the crowd that for her first number it was their decision, “beat or no beat?” Seemingly nervous upon the return of a “no beat” verdict, Giselle reluctantly left her red laptop/beat box aside but within seconds it became clear she had been feigning modesty as rhymes spat flawlessly from her lips. Sometimes sweet, sometimes teasing, she was always commanding. Backed by her own smooth, unselfconscious dance moves, Giselle fired the first of what round after round of fresh hip hop. Seamlessly blending her beats with subject matter ranging from Wicca to seducing straight girls while their boyfriends are on tour, this energetic lady captivated all of Sala Rossa with her humility, fierce presence and even fiercer sound.
Up next, sharing the set with Giselle, was the Portuguese-Quebecois powerhouse Donzelle. Reigning over the crowd in her gold spandex leggings and flashy bling, this bilingual temptress took to the mic with as much sass, dirt and sexual agency as Khia and peaches combined, only to add a whole new level of groove to the mix. Flocked by one equally decked-out back up dancer, Donzelle’s smooth rhymes were accompanied by seductive dips which only served to further the mesmerizing quality of her performance. Her face full of expression, she smiled as those in the audience gleefully caught on to her filthy innuendo. Sharing the stage with grace and authority Giselle Numba One and Donzelle captured an energy that filled the whole room with soul and real ingenuity.
Switching gears for Act II, festival goers were privileged to witness Baby Dee, a truly talented musician whose history as a MTF transsexual performer in a Coney Island freak-show had already created a tone of mystery before she even took to the stage. A classically trained piano and harp player, Baby Dee dove into her first song with the kind of gusto which conjured up images of pirates preparing to face their fates on the high seas. Backed by cello, bass and guitar, she cackled and threw her head back at every turn of her musical expedition, clearly taking delight in some audience member’s uneasy reactions to her zany and sometimes controversial song lyrics. Claiming that she can sometimes get a big head when reporters compliment her on having written some of the most offensive songs of all time, Baby Dee explained her humility comes from always remembering she “only stands on the shoulders of tasteless giants.” Sometimes appearing as a ghostly apparition or trickster, the murky strength, sorrow and joy conjured up by Baby Dee’s haunting melodies were coupled with tender emotion which spoke to the diverse experiences of this unique performer. An unpredictable combination of female artists, Body and Soul 5 allowed a lucky audience to glimpse performances featuring fearless stage presence, commanding creativity and self-defined hottttness.

Issue #6 -- Call for Submissions!!


It’s Lickety Split #6#6#6 – The Risk Issue!!!

The mark of the Beast is upon Lickety Split smut zine– We’re flirting with our darker desires this time around, hiking our skirts up inch by frisky inch. Oh, the possibilities… We enlist you, we implore you, hell we double-dog-dare you: Take a deep breath and send us your tantalizing, titillating and totally uncensored proposals. Take a chance on smut!

Lickety Split urges you to submit your proposals for:
Kinky and crafty limited edition artist objects (e.g. trading cards,
buttons, etc)

As well as our standing invitation for:
Models and photographers
Essays, interviews & reviews
Short stories
Comics, drawings, and other sexy 2D art!

Submission Guidelines
Before you let loose with a huge torrent of porn and sex related ideas, please acquaint yourself with our guidelines and criteria. Written work can be no shorter than 300 words but no more than 800; please include a pitch and cover letter with your submission.

Models and photographers:
Please read the photo guidelines and the technical requirements before you pitch your idea! Photos must be 300dpi or higher and submitted in either a JPEG or TIFF format. Please send submissions to k@licketysplitzine.com or mail to Lickety Split, P.O. Box 1783, Station H, Montreal QC H3G 2N6

Deadline:
April 1st 2008

Concordia C. S. Co-op Bookstore Valentine's Day Event!

The Concordia Community Solidarity Co-op Bookstore will hold its fifth annual Anti-Valentine’s Day Event on Wednesday, February 13th starting at 7 p.m. The event will be held at the Co-op Bookstore, located at 2150 Bishop, and will feature short films from Volatile Works, Rachel Dhawan, and the Pink Panthers, as well as stand-up comedy by Clara Kwan and Larissa Dutil, musings from Women’s Studies professor Trish Salah (to be confirmed), a brief acoustic performance by HULK-298, and readings from local smut zinesters Lickety Split and Laura Roberts of Black Heart!

The Concordia Community Solidarity Co-op Bookstore is a not-for-profit organization aimed at reducing student fees by selling books, school supplies and other items at a fraction of their suggested retail price. Used book consignment services also enable students to recoup some of the money they spend each year on textbooks, and artisan consignments encourage the community’s thriving art scene. Membership costs only $10 for life, though one need not be a member in order to shop at the Co-op or attend this Anti-Valentine’s Day event.

The Concordia Community Solidarity Co-op Bookstore is located at 2150 Bishop Street in Montreal. The Anti-Valentine’s Day Extravaganza kicks off at 7 p.m. Admission is a suggested donation of $5, though no one will be turned away, and all of the Co-op’s stock will be available for purchase throughout the evening. Refreshments will also be available for a small donation.

http://www.co-opbookstore.ca
Concordia Community Solidarity Co-op Bookstore
2150 Bishop
Montreal, Qc
Office: 514-848-7445
Fax: 514-848-7450

Tuesday, February 05, 2008

Audio Smut radio: Call for Submissions + listen in Wednesday @6pm!

If you've got something to say about sex and sexuality, we're listening! The Audio Smut radio collective is on the lookout for a variety of short-to-long format radio pieces for the 2008 schedule, including:

- Audio Diaries
- Reviews
- Community profiles and updates
- Interviews
- Opinion pieces
- and more!!

If this sounds interesting to you or if you are interested, send us a paragraph long pitch and we'll get back to you! You can e-mail us at audiosmut @ ckut . ca.

Audio Smut is a radio show based in Montreal that looks at sex from all angles: educational, political, cultural and kinky. Tune in the first Wednesday of every month from 6-7pm on CKUT 90,3 FM. Audio Smut is one of four shows that air during the Hersay hour. To listen on-line and download past shows visit ckut.ca.

Check out the Audio Smut radio Facebook group & MySpace page when you have a chance!

Friday, February 01, 2008

Thursday, January 31, 2008

T-Shirts Also Available


Strolling through New York's Chinatown this past weekend I just couldn't resist taking a snap in front such a smuttily-named establishment. A bit of a no-brainer, but hey, I'm not the one to talk to about thinking with your head instead of your hard on.

P.S. The inside walls were lined with dollar bills and featured a signed picture of Cuba Gooding Jr. shaking hands with the owner leading me to believe this whole 69 thing must be really paying off. And, yes, you too can get your very own "69 Chinese Restaurant" t-shirt and be the envy of coworkers and loved ones in no time. Cum to think of it, you might even be lucky enough to attract someone interested in a real live 69 -- but I can't guarantee that, and I don't think the people at 69 would either.

Weekly Video -- Declare Independence!!

Do i even need to make the argument that Bjork is sexy? Didn't think so.

Next Thursday will be the first day of the Year of the Rat, and I say amen to that! I think this is the perfect way to send off the bumpy, grumpy old lunar year and herald a change of priorities.



I'm off to make my own flag.

Tuesday, January 29, 2008

Fun with Photoshop! The Ron Jeremy edition

What the - Ron Jeremy has a Lego© version of himself?




On the left: A painting by Carlos Castro (2006): Patron des compras

Monday, January 28, 2008

Feb 1st: Faggity Ass Friday + Limited Edition version of Lickety Split #5!

Head & Hands and Main Hall present
Faggity Ass Friday!
with Lickety Split smut zine's launch of the Limited Edition version of #5: The Multiples Issue!
with DJS:
Backdoor
Dirty Boots
Julie D
+ Gender Outlaw Projections
& Dirty Thoughts Photo Booth
February 1st, 10pm at the Main Hall (3590 St-Laurent)
$5 suggested donation, bring ID and no liquids please!

Friday, January 25, 2008

Midol keeps 'em coming back!

Here's a vintage Midol ad via feministing that just goes ahead and says it straight out: your period makes you undatable. (Click on the photo to read the badgering copy.)



Judging from this photo I suspect "my Guy" might be too in to "his Guy" to be worrying about my period crabbies. We may have bigger relationship fish to fry...

Thursday, January 24, 2008

Weekly Video -- Janet Jackson's If....

Well, I've been told to cool it on the "funny" videos and bring back the ssssssexy (see what I didn't do there, Justin Timberlake?).

Voila, for sentimental reasons I give you Ms. Jackson's Orientalist vision of hyper-technological-debauchery (technobauchery!), chock full of scopophilic delights.



Choreographed cunnilingus!!

Wednesday, January 23, 2008

Dyke Road


It was an unusually mild Christmas day when my dad and I drove down the country road on our way to Grand Desert Beach. Dried out rushes that had struggled to poke their heads through the snow only days before were now free and the soggy soil at their roots threatened enough water to bring them back to life one more time before a quick death at the next snowfall. The air was wet and soft on my face as I leaned out the window—you had to go pretty slow in Seaforth, wouldn’t want to hit a curious cat or sweet little family too mesmerized by their brand new baby to see you swerve around the corner too fast. Tragedy. I had that empty, loveless feeling that makes you like a lonely snow covered night just waiting for something worse to happen. I had made myself so sick thinking about Ange over the holiday it was like my body wanted to vomit out every last trace I had ever ferociously consumed. I was suddenly, painfully, simultaneously wet and nauseous at the ill-timed moment when the memory of her bright eyes and crooked smile slowly descending backwards down my belly coincided with aunt Ann asking me to pass the cranberries. All December that was how I remembered her—my tongue meeting Ange’s nipple over scrabble with my ten year old cousin, the apple-y smell of Ange’s damp, just washed curls wafting under my nose in the middle of a banal Friends re-run. Still sleepless at 8 am, I’d given up trying to punch out these ghosts and I could feel my worn-out psyche collapsing huffing and puffing, defeated, in the corner of my brain.
It was time out as the Dyke Road sign appeared at the top of the gravely intersection.
“You know that’s where all the lesbians live,” my father smiled wryly as we turned passed this old, familiar point of childish banter.
“Quick! Go back! Go back!” I screamed, so convincingly, I found myself startled by the amount of authenticity I could still muster after all these years.
“Aw, too late now. But maybe another time?” I had heard these lines so many times it was impossible to forget my part: “Oh, definitely. And if you drive past Dyke road one more time it’ll be me who takes the wheel and turns us back!”
“That’s the spirit,” my dad smiled again as he reached out a weathered thumb to wipe a few stray tears from my cheek.

Part of the Lovelorn (And Not So Lovelorn) Winter Fiction Series.

Tuesday, January 22, 2008

lickety split oddcast no. 5 side c



lickety split in your ears

winter is the death of biking, and we are prisoners of the metro, chugging along obligingly down their unimaginative paths. the wind in my hair has been replaced by the shadow of my enormous tuque and the heavy itch of an undone winter coat. breathe deep and eat tomatoes and fish and listen to the oddcast while stuck underground until the surface is safe for life again, here in the metropolis of extremes.

so you can
LISTEN right fuckin now
or, like, check it out at INDYISH
or keep in touch through the mybook.facescape
or, like, download it later at your leisure at http://www.licketysplitzine.com/oddcasts/lcktsplt_ddcst05_sideC.mp3

No 5 side c
featurin'

Tim Buckley
Leonard Cohen with John Bilezikjian on oud
Current 93
“I Remember Jeep” jam from All Things Must Pass recording sessions with George Harrison, Ginger Baker, Klaus Voormann, Billy Preston and Eric Clapton
Dan Gibson’s field recordings of the arctic
Stephen P. McGreevy’s sound recordings of “earth’s mysterious natural VLF radio phenomena”
The Melvins
Sähkökvartetti
Toshiya Tsunoda
+ unshielded AM radio recordings, backwards talking by Nick Cabelli

a note on backwards talking:

it takes FOREVER, so think of this oddcast as unfinished. it was supposed to last until the start of Song of the Siren, and then be spoken again in french (in backwards) where Lover Lover Lover is. it would have sounded something like

"On my balcony there are grapes. But the grapes are gone; and the birds eat the grapes. Are the birds gone too?

I have never been anywhere; where they don’t speak English or French. Beyond my balcony is my street. It is probably connected to yours, but who wants to prove it?

I do not remember clearly anything we have ever said to each other. A brief connection, but then more miasma: a thousand highway off-ramps scream like dinosaurs and banshees before suddenly dust and mountains.

On the phone I trace the map with my fingers. These moments are like dreams to me."

***

Monday, January 21, 2008

Best Porn Spoof Ever?

You be the judge.



Yes, it's Edward Penishands, and it's been around forever but I'd never seen the images before.

Edward tries to eat spaghetti.



And what does Johnny Depp have to say about this film? According to BoingBoing,

"Tim [Burton] and I were both quite proud they decided to do that. It was low budget and cheesy, but it was hilarious to watch. Those hands...they served him well."

Images from Flickr and this blog review, which is quite thorough.

Saturday, January 19, 2008

MTL: Get Your Kink On!

Hi folks!

Good news! It appears that the good people over at Queer Concordia are presenting an excellent workshop entitled Get Your Kink On: a BDSM Workshop by Nora R. Heck yeah! Loverly. The workshop with explore issues related to sexual shame, dollar store S/M, negotiation techniques, linking queer and feminist politics to kink and more! For the curious, the seasoned and the theory nerd alike. This workshop debuted in Fall of 2007 during Queer Re/Action Week here in Montreal, where it proved mucho successful, so be sure to head on to QPIRG Concordia (1455 de Maisonneuve O.- 2nd floor) Saturday, February the 2nd from 12-3pm. The event is FREE, food will be provided, the space is wheelchair accessible and childcare can be provided if notice is given 48 hours in advance. For more info contact Nora R. and buds at queerconcordia @ gmail . com .

If you're interested in reading a bit more from this bright and dirty minds first, check out an article Nora R. authored with Kate L. (of the "St-Laurent kiss-in" fame) in the latest issue of Concordia University's The Link newspaper right here. These two get it right on!

xo

Thursday, January 17, 2008

Weekly Video -- Hungarian Bruce Willis raps for peace!

Ever wonder what a Hungarian Bruce Willis would sound like if he rapped really, really slowly?

No? Well too bad. Sasha Baron Cohen looks on in awe as Speak the Hungarian rapper unveils his new chart topper, er... "Sometimes, people make a war" (?)

[Don't miss the backup singers: Hungarian Benicio del Toro, Clay Aiken, Mario Lopez, and Paul Schaffer!]



Yee, come on. Let's rock.

ps -- Did he refer to Snoop Dogg as "Snoo"?

Monday, January 14, 2008

Simone de Beauvoir Centennial Celebrations

There are a lot of reasons to admire Simone de Beauvoir, not least of which include her crusade to provide women with legal, safe abortions and her sexual anarchism. Similar to Emma Goldman, de Beauvoir practiced an open relationship with her long-term partner Sartre, and was known for her threesomes and bisexual affairs.

Of course, this "scandalous" behavior is now interfering with the forthcoming celebrations of her life in France. You can read the full story here.

Unlike some biographies and articles that try to paint Simone as a jealous lover (towards Sartre), this piece reveals that in fact it was Sartre who displayed jealousy more frequently, while Simone was committed to an open and honest relationship (Sartre wasn't so keen on the honesty bit either, apparently). Ah, Simone, so much more interesting than Sartre. Ah men who say they want an open relationship and then lie and cheat. But I digress...

Anyhoo, here's the photo that rocked France's intellectual circles!!



Racy!

Image via http://www.literaryreview.co.uk/johnson_02_06.html

Thursday, January 10, 2008

Weekly Video -- Daniel Dreams of You!!

Bear with me folks, this week's video is a bit of a detour into the strange powers of youtube. I present to you "The One I Dream Of" by Daniel.

My favorite verse is where Daniel, who looks to be about 10 years old (he's 13 for reals), walks towards me on the beach confidently stating "You think I'm just a child. But I can drive you wild." Erm...



To answer your question, yes he does have a huge international fan base.

PS -- I just rewatched it. Is he some sort of stooge for those To Catch a Predator folks, meant to lure and hyptonize the viewer with crazy kaleidoscopic background visuals?

Friday, January 04, 2008

Weekly Video -- LOE Solidarity!

Welcome to 2008, friends.

Let this sweet, fuzzy, bumpin' video "Sisters in the Struggle" by Montreal's own Lesbians on Ecstasy embrace you like an old, woolly poncho.



Righteous.

Tuesday, January 01, 2008

Happy Two Thousand and Eight!

Best wishes to all of you and yourn!
A short post today, but here are some items for your fresh new years eyes...

Stuff to check out:
Tomorrow, January 2nd: Audio Smut radio's New Years show from 6-7pm on CKUT 90.3 FM on the dial in Montreal, or www.ckut.ca for everywhere else.
Slow Dance Night came and went and now there are photos, videos and words all about how wonderful it all was on the SDN blog!

Lickety Split stuff to get excited about:
- Special Limited Edition of Lickety Split #5: The Multiples Issue will be launched at Faggity Ass Friday at Main Hall February 1st!
- Lickety Split will be tabling at the Erotic Arts & Crafts Fair in Toronto February 8-10th!
- Lickety Split will be launching issue number five in Toronto at Good Handy's that same weekend!
- More Slow Dance Nights to cum!
- Lickety Split #6 call for submissions coming soon!
- Lickety Split merchandise is in the works!

Amber xo

Thursday, December 27, 2007

Do you enjoy sex? Do you want to be on the radio?

Well, now's yer chance!

CKUT 90.3FMs sex radio show Audio Smut invites you to send us your sex-related New Years Resolutions and we'll read them on air during our upcoming show, January 2nd from 6-7pm!

How do you do this? Just send us an e-mail listing your resolutions or get fancy and send us an mp3! Use that mic on your computer, record your voice (or however you wanna do it) get your stuff into us by Monday December 31st! Please send to: a AT licketysplitzine DOT com

We'll also be discussing top news items and themes related to sex from 2007 as well as listening to a few tunes. You know, laid back and easy! Yeah. Just how I wanna roll in 2008. ;)

Thanks!

Audio Smut is a radio show based in Montreal that looks at sex from all angles: educational, political, cultural and kinky. Tune in the first wednesday of every month from 6-7pm on CKUT 90,3 FM. Audio Smut is one of four shows that air during the Hersay hour. To listen on-line and download past shows visit ckut.ca.

Saturday, December 22, 2007

Weekly Video -- Wanda Sykes Detachable Pussy

Sorry for the delay -- I was on the road. I'm not usually a huge stand-up fan, but we're ending 2007 with this cuz it made me giggle.



Happy New Year!

Thursday, December 20, 2007

Weekly Video -- Konichiwa Bitches!

This vid by Robyn is all-round awesome, but check 1:30 for the best shout out ever to the small-chested ladies in the house.




That's how I organize 'em too!


ps thanks again to Mike

Slow Dance Night is tomorrow!


Le Cagibi at 5490 St-Laurent Blvd (corner St. Viateur)
Friday, December 21st, 2007
9pm to 1am, $5 includes Dancecard/Corsage!
Lickety Split #5 will also be on sale as well as Lickety Split #4.
Fresh copies of LS #4 & #5 are also gonna be dropped off at Cheap Thrills Friday around noon!

Wednesday, December 19, 2007

Xmass tonight + Slow Dance Night this Friday!

We're going to be tabling at the Indyish Monthly Mess tonight starting at 9:00 at the downtown Ye Olde Orchard (1189 de la Montagne). Come on out, check out the crafts and have a beer with us!
http://www.facebook.com/event.php?eid=5809999958

***

SLOW DANCE NIGHT!
We have a lending library of resident dancers for all you wall flowers! This is a queer, kid, and senior friendly event. Dress fancy and get your dancecard filled.

Le Cagibi at 5490 St-Laurent Blvd (corner St. Viateur)
Friday, December 21st, 2007
9pm to 1am, $5 includes Dancecard/Corsage!


Tomorrow night, we will be crafting dance cards and corsages to give out at the door!
A note on dance cards:
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Dance_card

A note on corsages:
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Corsage

A note on our dance cards and corsages: they will include the play list, etiquette as well as condoms (which can simply be made into dental dams):
http://www.soc.ucsb.edu/sexinfo/?article=U1N7

Cheers!

Thursday, December 13, 2007

Weekly Video -- Snoop Seduces...

Welcome to the first installation of the weekly panty-creamer!



It seems only right to start off this series with the work of a smut-peddler. You'll recall that in 2001 Snoop produced the first hardcore porn hip hop video, Snoop Dogg's Doggystyle.

Wednesday, December 12, 2007

10 Reasons to have sex over the holidays!

Are you looking forward to your holiday break? I am! But what to do with all those unoccupied hours, long stretches of time without deadlines, phone calls and priority items? Have sex, of course! Our favorite Canadian sex shop Come As You Are have recently out together a list of ten reasons to have sex over the holidays...as if you needed a reason! Check 'em out here.

Tuesday, December 11, 2007

The magickal Stripping Magician at Just for Laughs!

Check out this video of a stripping magician at Just For Laughs, the comedy festival:
http://www.graemevilleret.com/index.php?2006/08/18/24-une-magicienne-nue-au-festival-juste-pour-rire-de-montreal
I saw her with my own eyes at the La Clique burlesque show this year. Totally awesome and fun live! Thanks to Aimee for passing this along!

Friday, December 07, 2007

Making Space for Working Women!


DECEMBER 17th: RED UMBRELLA MARCH LED BY STELLA AND ALLIES
Join Stella and our friends and allies for a Red Umbrella March, an activity for the 5th International day to End Violence Against Sex Workers. We will depart at 5pm from Frontenac Metro, Montréal. Together we will take the time to honour our sisters and brothers who have experienced violence at work and those we have loved and lost... And to say: Enough is Enough!!!
For more info and literature, please visit the Stella website.
Stella’s goals are:
• to provide support and information to sex-workers so that they may live in safety and with dignity;
• to sensitize and educate the public about sex work and the realities faced by sex workers;
• to fight discrimination against sex workers;
• to promote the decriminalisation of sex work.
Stella favours empowerment and solidarity by and amongst sex workers, since we are committed to the idea that each of us has a place in society, and human rights worth defending.

Tuesday, December 04, 2007

Faggity Ass Fridays: Good, queer fun in the Mile End area.

So if the village ain't quite your vibe or you don't want to sweat the cab fare back to St. Viateur, check out Faggity Ass Fridays every Friday at the Main Hall (5390 St-Laurent). Starting at 11pm, this night is a DJ dance party and art night for queer folk and their friends! There is usually a small cover charge or pay-what-you-can sitch' at the door and all that moola goes to the Head & Hands Sense Project, a totally righteous peer-based sex education program to supplement the lack of sex-ed in Quebec high schools.

About this Friday, December 7th:
Let it snow, let it snow, let it snooooow!

Alright kidz, Faggity-Ass Fridays wants to celebrate hot chocolate snow days in style! So put on your velcro booties and sexy scarves and cum dance with your favorite snow bunnies: DJ Dirtyboots, Xavier and Tommy Horror.

We've got DeAnne Smith telling tall tales and a short film called Anima & Animus as as warm up.

Guest DJ: Tommy Horror!
Resident DJs: Dirty Boots and Xavier T.

Good times!

See you there! xo

Monday, December 03, 2007

Dec. 19th: Gifts, art and more at the X-MESS!


Hello darlings,
I hope that y'all are cozy and indoors with someone you're sweet on or something piping hot (a cafe au lait perhaps, or a copy of Lickety Split #5?). In any case, if you missed the Lickety Split tabling action this past weekend at the Flea Affair, come check out the latest issue at Indyish's December edition of the Monthly Mess: X-MESS! Yup, that's right: we'll be tabling next to other awesome publications and artists at the Art Mart while listening to the sweet sounds of bands like Spiral Beach, Sister Suvi and Wax Mannequin.

An extra special feature of the evening will be a holiday box waiting for your donations of cash, gifts for little kids and non-perishable food items for the youth who access services at local youth organization Head & Hands.
If you can't make this event, give a little to Head & Hands by donating on-line here or support Lickety Split and Indyish.com by purchasing stuff here.
Good chee and all that! Enjoy the wintery wonderland and be good and dirty in yer woolens!

Thursday, November 29, 2007

Dink in a Box: Shannon Gerard!


From the inimitable Shannon Gerard, past Lickety Split contributor and all-around fascinating person:

I know you know at least one person who would love a Boob for Christmas!

Nothing tells that special mohel in your life how much you appreciate them more than a Dink for Hanukkah!

And to quote the indefatigable Justin Timberlake: "Kwanzza. Dink in a box."


There are three-- yes THREE-- chances in the next two weeks for you to make these holiday dreams come true.

On Saturday December 1st (this weekend!), I'll be taking part in CITY OF CRAFT-- a new event being held this year in the Theatre Centre at 1087 Queen Street West. That's the basement of the Great Hall at Queen and Dovercourt. The event runs from 11AM til 8PM. There are over 60 vendors selling handmade, locally produced crafty goodness. There are workshops and demos happening all day (I'm teaching folks how to crochet their very own dinky finger puppets between 1 and 2PM) and admission is totally free!

More details at http://www.cityofcraft.com

On Sunday December 2nd (the very next day), I'll be at the OCAD BOOK ARTS FAIR. 100 McCaul Street on the second floor. 11AM til 5PM. More handmade heaven, but this time with an emphasis on books and prints. There are also some amazing deals on letterpress paraphernalia, papermaking supplies, and book related ephemera.

More details on facebook, here: http://www.facebook.com/event.php?eid=5862682153

The next weekend, Saturday December 8th and Sunday December 9th-- there are two parties happening at ART METROPOLE as part of their annual GIFTS BY ARTISTS show and sale. On both Saturday and Sunday between 2PM and 5PM, you can stop by Art Met-- 788 King Street West-- for a drink and dink, a boozy booby, and first dibs on some pretty amazing multiples and artists books they'll have for sale. The sale runs til January 5th.

More details and gorgeous photographs here: http://artmetropole.com/popups/events_exhibits.cfm?str_filename=exhibits/exhibits_07/gba/gba.htm

Consider supporting local artists and buying handmade this year. If you can't make it out to these events, or if you are interested in taking a peek at some of the stuff I've been making lately, check out my ETSY SHOP:

http://www.shannongerard.etsy.com

Etsy is the most amazing international online marketplace for all things handmade.

Seasonal Joy and Love from me to you!
Shannon.

Wednesday, November 28, 2007

Check us out at the Flea Affair this Saturday!


If you missed us at Expozine and still have some cash burning a hole in your pocket, come say hi to the gentle mannered folks behind the Lickety Split table at the Flea Affair! This is an awesome event organized by cool ladies (one of whom is Jill our events organizer, of Quel Damage-Episode Design fame)and is going down in the Mile End. Be there or be square!

Tuesday, November 27, 2007

Expozine was a hoot! (check out these photos)

Aw man, I looove Expozine! "Montreal's Annual Small Press, Comic and Zine Fair" is something of a milestone for a lot of indie publshers and artists in this city. It functions as a place to celebrate and sell some amazing and beautiful/weird/wacky art as well as a deadline for many others who are looking for one. I think that many folks in this milieu understand challenges that can come up in terms of ones motivation, and personally, Expozine always reaffirms how awesome this city is in terms of creative output.
But anywhoo. Here are some photos by Sherwin Tjia, a longtime Lickety Split collaborator (for example, he's our official cover artist). I'm throwing in a couple of us at the end from the Faggity Ass Queer Stripper-ganza too!
The Lickety Split table, directly next to Sherwin's table, separated only by our Slow Dance Night Poster!
Amber, Kathleen and Sherwin!
The throngs of art adoring fans! Please buy our smut!
K$ representing behind the table on Sunday!
Gamble's dog Lucy is a sexy bitch.
Our loverly Sherwin (at the strip show)...
Et moi! Pushing zines as always...co-tablers for LIFE!(also, at the queer strip show)
Thanks to all who came out and bought Lickety Split stuff or just came by to say hi!!!!!!

Hearts,
Amber

Monday, November 26, 2007

Do you hear what I hear? : The Sound Sex Project

Recently Mark Harris, a local musician in the band On Bodies and a Concordia University Media Studies MA candidate, sent me an e-mail giving me a heads up about a new project he's been putting together entitled the Sound Sex Project. Here's what he has to say about it:

Music becomes imbued with meaning through the myriad of ways that we use sound and song in our daily lives.

The Sound Sex Project seeks to explore how sound articulates desire, and how people use music to orchestrate their sexual encounters.

I began thinking about the links between sound, music, sex and arousal in an attempt to write about audio in pornography. My critique of the porn soundtracks was that sound quality seemed to be of less concern than image, that the noises of bodies and voices were often muted, and that pornographic scores were often cheesy, bland and repetitive.

Yet, in reading theorist Tia DeNora, whose work has informed this project, I was faced with my own arrogance. Who was I to deem what kind of music might or might not instigate sexual activity? Everyone uses music and sound in a different way.

This is where the Sound Sex Project needs your help. I would love any varying degree of participation, but my basic request is:

-Please send me the name of an audio track and artist which you have played during a sexual encounter. If you have an mp3 file of the sound/song, e-mail that as well. Please send your submission to:

soundsexproject@gmail.com

I will post all submissions chronologically on my blog, so please indicate if you would like your name to be used, if you would like to use a pseudonym, or if you would rather remain anonymous.

My aim is to compile a Sound Sex Project mix CD for everyone who participates. After the first compilation has been completed, feel free to submit to the project again.

I would love to post additional information about your song choice. If you are willing to share more than just the sound selection, other information you might include could be:

-your biographical info
-how your musical choice affected your sexual encounter
-what type of technology you used to play your soundtrack
-why you chose that particular work
-any other thoughts or reflections


Thank you for reading, and I look forward to hearing from you. Once again, please send all entries to:

soundsexproject@gmail.com

Wednesday, November 21, 2007

We're at Expozine this Saturday and Sunday!


Expozine will take place on Saturday, November 24 and Sunday, November 25, 2007, from 12 p.m. to 6 p.m. at 5035 St-Dominique (Église Saint-Enfant Jésus, between St-Joseph and Laurier, near Laurier Métro). Free admission.

This incredible event brings together over 250 creators of all kinds of printed matter – from books to zines to visual art and comics – in both English and French. In the past six years, Expozine has become one of North America's largest small press fairs, attracting thousands of visitors as well as exhibitors from as far afield as Chicago, Halifax, New York, Toronto, Ottawa, and Quebec City!

Expozine brings together a multitude of publications and printed works that are often difficult to find in the first place, much less altogether in the same room! The result is a rare opportunity to peruse the work of hundreds of young and emerging authors, publishers and artists, and to see what the winners of last year’s Expozine Alternative Press Awards are up to. Not to be missed!

Check out our Etsy.com store!

!!!
licketysplitsmutzine.etsy.com
!!!

Vagina Dentata Movie!

Okay, so the trailer for this flick looks incredibly misogynistic; I still intend to cackle my way through it. The gyno scene alone is worth the price of admission. Who's with me?


Image 1 from http://biancabean.wordpress.com/2007/05/15/angry-beaver/
Image 2 from Google images

Tampon Turkey



The things crafty people come up with. What kind of gravy would you serve with that?

For the recipe, go to http://www.tamponcrafts.com/turkey.html

Friday, November 16, 2007

Zinester to check out: Spencer Butt!

After reading a review in Broken Pencil of Spencer Butt's zine/chapbook "I wish raptors still existed so I could get disemboweled and finally spill my guts to someone", I decided to to get a copy. He happily suggested a trade and included a copy of the more recent "My name is Scientist". I love them both!!! Here is an excerpt from the poem "I wish I was a poet" from ""Sometimes I wish raptors...":

I want to spread your legs apart with a sense of wonder, as
if I'm opening the closet to Narnia
and I wanna be lion, bewitched in the many folds and
crevices of your dirty, little wardrobe.


To get in contact with Butt check out www.myspace.com/thirtysecondblurbs

Wednesday, November 14, 2007

Launch #5 reviewed in The McGill Daily

Check it out here: http://www.mcgilldaily.com/view.php?aid=6661

An excerpt:
"...After my private show was done, the others moved on to other innocent newbies, bouncing their tassled breasts mere inches from their faces. With all this excitement and sexual ease, it was no surprise that my shirt magically came off towards the end of the night. I was even considering working with these ladies. I then realized, listening to local band Starvin’ Hungry rock it out, that this was Lickety Split’s mission: to create an atmosphere that promotes unbridled sexual expression in a healthy, fun and hilarious setting. "

Yeah. Article by Linda Issa.

Tuesday, November 13, 2007

lickety split oddcast no. 5 side b


SIDE B: lickety split in your dreams


MMMUSIC

or www.licketysplitzine.com/oddcasts/lcktsplt_ddcst05_sideB.mp3
or indyist podcast land

deeper in sleep, whisps of significance are unarticulatable by my waking self: only the echoing residue of experience. the strange makes me anxious, like a forgotten meeting. or a breakfast slept through. better to relax ride it out, shake it loose, wave like seaweed always. a little militantness in lifestyle, and less dust and debris covering me in the morning.

LICKETY SPLIT ODDCAST no. 5 SIDE B

featurin'

Anemones
Angelo Badalamenti
Sandy Bull
Bob Dylan & The Hawks
Richard P. Feynman
R. Buckminster Fuller
Kristy Heeren
Les Rallizes Denudes
Charles Manson
Stephen P. McGreevy’s sound recordings of “earth’s mysterious natural VLF radio phenomena”
Santiago Mutumbajoy

Friday, November 09, 2007

Queereaction Weekend!


We're tabling Saturday and Sunday and will be making an appearance at the awesome Faggity Ass Stripshow Saturday night!!!!

xo

More Lickety Split smut zine launch photos on Indyish.com!

Check them out here! Thanks to Marilis Cardinal who took all the fine shots!!!!
Dead Dollz:
Alex from PARLOVR:

Sunday, November 04, 2007

Photos from the Lickety Split #5 at Zoobizarre! (more to cum)

All photos by Sabrina Ratté.
John of Starvin Hungry
Scott of Starvin Hungry
The crowd dances!
Naughty bits!
Bow tie!

Check out a review of the night at Solid Waste.

Lickety Split #5 press links!

Check us out in Brendan Murphy's Hour column, y'all:
http://www.hour.ca/music/music.aspx?iIDArticle=13337

...and also the lovely article in the MTL Mirror by Sacha Jackson!
http://www.montrealmirror.com/2007/110107/arts.html

...and a mention in Johnson Cummins' column:
http://www.montrealmirror.com/2007/110107/rex.html

Yay!