Friday, August 28, 2009

Kitties Have Needs Too, You Know

"My cat was in pain. Blame the recession for my dirty deed."
-Pamela Stewart, from the article, 'Hank gets a hand job' on

Thursday, August 27, 2009


I can't decide whether this is simply a useless invention intended to separate (no pun intended) women from their earnings $55 at a time, or really just some dude's titty fucking fantasy gone terribly awry.

Either way, I'm pretty sure this type of strangely objectifying material deserves its own category on the blog, which I am now christening dah...dah...dah...dah: The Kush Factor.

Tuesday, August 25, 2009


Friends, I have made an excellent new lube discovery.

Often plagued by sensitive lady parts that would force me to forgo sexy-times for weeks on end, I was recently thrilled to become reacquainted with the slippery healing power of Aloe Vera--this time in relation to my impatient vagina.

Let's face it. The glycerin in most water-based lubes is essentially sugar and, if you suffer from irritation from chronic yeast infections or a highly exuberant partner sex/self love regimen, other lubes--as natural as they claim to be--can sting and burn and put a disappointing end to happy times.

The great thing about Aloe, as I've discovered, is that not only does it provide quite a bit of moisture comparable to popular brands like KY Jelly, but it also soothes dryness and irritation, making it a terrific two- in-one dealio. Just make sure you get the colour and preservative free stuff, or better yet, a bedside Aloe plant, and you'll be ready to slip and slide and heal all at once!

Final note: while this discovery has not yet been tested for efficacy in non-vag related scenarios, it soon will be, and I encourage you to check back for more thoughts on the subject. Also, while I can talk jive like a pro, I'm no medical expert and I encourage you to use your own discretion in deciding whether it's time to seek some extra help in the name of your sexual health.

Tuesday, August 18, 2009

Boobies! Nipples! Out of this World!!

The title of this post, while at once being what I feel is a truthful and sound statement regarding sweater kittens, is also an actual ritual exclamation that me and my best sleepover twin used recite in order to describe our 9-year-old awe at what might possibly befall us post-puberty.

After a swim at the pool, with our mothers safely out of earshot, we would do our ceremonial walk around the changeroom, making sure to stop pointedly at each of a dozen or so mirrors and, with slightly shocked looks upon our tiny faces, incant "Boobies! Nipples! Out of this world!"

Don't ask me how this started. Girlhood rituals can be mysterious things, even to their performers. What I do know, is that while there may have been a mild element of bewildered wonderment in these musings, there was also joy and appreciation for the possibilities of womanhood. A sort of tribute to the complexity that comes with having a more "developed" body, as well as a rejoicing in the mostly care-free existence of not being there yet--of being able to giggle and huddle together and to run around public spaces howling like mad women who shared a great secret.

Friday, August 14, 2009

Queer Between the Covers!

Come visit us tomorrow August 15th during this lovely event for "gay nerds and their admirers":


montreal’s second annual queer bookfair, QUEER BETWEEN THE COVERS, bringing you books, zines, and queer cultural production from across north america as well as local zinesters and artists.

* there will be childcare available at this event.
** while the entrance to this space is wheelchair accessible, we regret that the washrooms are not.


AK Press
Anchor Archive
Co-op Bookstore
Elysium Books
Glad Day Books
Lickety Split
Ste. Emilie Skillshare
South End Press
Venus Envy
Qteam Distro
& independent zinesters galore...

Saturday, August 15th
12:00-5:00 pm
1710 Beaudry, Beaudry Metro
Montreal, QC

Wednesday, August 12, 2009

Updates, Updates

Oh, wowie, oh, zowie--how has the summer flown by so fast?! It seems like just last week we were getting ready to take this naughty little zine on an adventure to Brooklyn and now it's been more than a month since our last update. Bad, bad mistress of smut! I should be spanked. Hard.

So, along with promising never to abandon you like that ever again (!), I'd like to tickle your curiosity and stir up some of that ever-festering smutty energy by letting you know that there are some exciting developments happening here at Lickety Split.

First off, the NYC zine fest was a huge success. Not only did we have the thrilling experience of seeing new folks fondling purchased copies of the zine, but we were also able to network with some truly cool zine makers and artists and generally experience a hot, rejeuvenating injection of DIY pride. Zine culture rules!

Next, this spring, we were honoured and happy to be approached by Microcosm Publishing, and as a result, Lickety Split is available for wider-than-ever-before distribution on their website. Check out LS and other awesome zines here.

Finally, Lickety Split is looking to bring some fresh, new energy to our team in the form of event planners, bloggers and advertising gurus. Keep your eyes peeled for our formal call-outs and, if you're interested in writing for the blog, why not shoot a writing-related CV straight away to

What's more? Well, that's not even the half of it! Check back for pics from the NYC zine fest as well as reviews of some of the smutty and sex positive publications we picked up while there.

Keep those dirty thoughts coming and thanks for supporting Lickety Split!


Lickety Split smut zine Seeks Event Planner Extraordinaire!

Because the one who throws the party always gets the most action...

Lickety Split smut zine is searching for a gregarious, organized and self-motivated volunteer to become our new events coordinator!

We are looking for a creative individual who is familiar with the other amazing, sex positive and queer friendly events currently happening in Montreal and who feels comfortable recruiting volunteers to help create our own. Previous experience with event planning is desired as well as the ability to work autonomously and in collaboration with the Lickety Split team.

As our party-thrower extraordinaire, you will work alongside Lickety's team of dedicated smutsters in the dreaming-up and organizing of a new monthly Lickety Split dance night. What's more, you will share in the exciting task of approaching and collaborating with existing organizations in order to foster and grow a community dedicated to sex positive expression and thought!

Though this is an unpaid gig, refreshments, space and time will be available as well as major kudos, high fives and freebies along the way. Each issue of Lickety Split relies heavily on the revenue generated by our events and your contribution as event planner is essential to our production!

For those of you who are interested in beefing up your resume, or have talent to share, please send your CV and get in contact with Sarah at

The deadline to apply is September 1st, 5pm. Lickety Split is an equal opportunity "employer" and members of traditionally disadvantaged groups are encouraged to apply.

Lickety Split is a pansexual smut zine dedicated to encouraging sex-positive expression and thought. The zine promotes collaborative art making and encourages diverse contributions to climb into bed with one another, because one sexual expression just does not satisfy. Lickety Split wants to help make the masses cum with smutty photography and art, essays and stories in order to fulfill the whole human being and address the complexity of sex.