Tuesday, December 21, 2010

For the Fangbangers

Bill Compton narrowly beat out the Viking Eric Northman by only $829. Together, both teams competing in the Battle Of The Fang raised almost $70,000 for charity! As Bill Compton is the reining king, Stephen Moyer got to choose the t-shirts himself. As you can see, his chosen shirt reads, “I Like My Bitches Blonde” while Alex’s says simply, “Bill’s Bitch!” Both these dudes got a sense of humor, is all we’re sayin’.

Via True Blood News

I Just Had Sex by Lonely Island

For the next time you need a song to sing after getting laid...

Lovely and Hot Japanese Safe Sex XXXmas video

Little Taiko Boy リトル太鼓ボーイ from All Out Attack on Vimeo.

Little Taiko Boy's soundtrack is a safer-sex parody of the American Christmas carol "The Little Drummer Boy" interspersed with the slow rumble of a traditional Japanese taiko drum that sounds like a massive throbbing heart beat. Against this backdrop, several men meet in Tokyo's bathhouses, love hotels and cruising spots for intimate encounters, watched over by a glamorous drag version of Amaterasu Omikami, the Shinto goddess of the Sun played by Japanese activist and artist MADAME BONJOUR JOHNJ. Like a queer Santa Claus, the goddess leaves each couple a condom in a bejeweled wrapper as a gift and blessing for the night.

Via Violet Blue and Little Taiko Boy

Monday, December 20, 2010

Smut on the radio

Just a brief note: I will be speaking about Lickety Split on the radio tomorrow, December 21st, at 8:40 AM on CKUT 90.3FM. The lovely folks of the Tuesday Morning After collective have invited me into the studio to talk about all things smut-tastic.

Tuesday, December 14, 2010

Is Nothing Sacred? Funny or Die Visits Golden Girls XXX Parody Set

Unless you've been living under a rock for the last year or so, you've probably taken note of the Golden Girls Renaissance - a phenomenon that's been sweeping the nation and sparking various Betty White-related petitions on facebook.

How to tell when the renaissance period of a particular pop culture item has hit its peak? Look no further than to our friends in silicone valley who are turning out porn parodies like it pays big bucks or something (oh, yeah, it does).

Thursday, December 09, 2010

Kick-Ass Menstruating Girl Sings Taylor Swift

This cute and graphic (NSFW) video has been making the internet rounds over the last couple of days, and from what I can tell from the reactions over at buzzfeed, mainly being met with lots of enthusiastic ewws and wtfs.

My reaction? Where's the rest of the video? I wanna see what else happens after...well I won't ruin it for you.

This lady is beautiful, sexy and gets xxxtra bonus points for being an April Flores doppleganger.


peeking virtue from Douglas Burgdorff on Vimeo.

Wednesday, December 08, 2010

HIV Positive Porn Star Reveals His Identity to Promote Condom Use

The mainstream porn industry was rocked pretty hard this October when it was revealed that one of its performers had contracted HIV while on the job. Originally, identified as "patient zeta," gay and straight pornstar Derrick Burts recently spoke out about the importance of standardizing condom use in the adult industry.


HIV testing is mandatory in the straight adult industry but not in gay porn because condom use in that industry is mandatory.

Seeing as how the testing system is far from flawless, as Burts points out, it seems more important than ever that the adult industry suck it up and protect the performers who make them billions of dollars every year. Also, promoting safe sex amongst porn viewers doesn't seem like such a bad idea, either--even if they are a little reluctant to see some sheathed cock at first.

Yes, Please!

Or, as the French would say, "Oui, Oui!" Here at Lickety Split we looove Chloe Sevigny and boy do we love her even more when she poses topless for French magazines. Ooh la la!

Thursday, November 18, 2010

Grrrl Week

girl empowerment

I've been thinking about messages of empowerment for girls ever since Tavi announced on her blog the style rookie that her and the old editor of Sassy will be launching a new magazine for teen girls "that doesn't suck". Here are some images from pop culture that influenced me, and helped me find messages of girlhood resistance even when it seemed they were the only ones!

I'm really curious: What were some of yours????

read more about girl things on Fashion Made Me Funky,

Monday, November 15, 2010

More From Expo Zine

Expozine was so fun!! Here are some more pictures of our sexy table. We were placed beside WORN Fashion journal and Guillaume mentioned how the two fit perfectly together - take your clothes off with us, then move over a table and get dressed with the smart, sassy (and also sexy) WORN. Thank you to all who came by our table, it was truly great to talk with you and spread the smutty love.

Local Legends!

In case you've been tossing and turning at night, waking up in a cold sweat, screaming into the darkness, and wondering what the Lickety Split readers at the Local Legends event looked like, behold!

(Left to right: Guillaume Morissette, Olga Wolstenholme, Mark Ambrose Harris)

Sunday, November 14, 2010

Pics from Expozine!

Waiting for the first expozinesters to arrive

Note the Rainbow Brite sheets on the table next to us

Displaying our expozine award

Free condoms, lube, rubber gloves, and candy for everyone!

LS copy-editor, Tessa, tabling for the ever-excellent Worn Fashion Journal

Thursday, November 11, 2010


Yes, dear lovers of smut, zines, comics, and small presses, that magical weekend of wonder is upon us once more. Expozine!

This year marks Expozine's 9th anniversary. The event is taking place over the span of two days, Saturday, November 13 & Sunday, November 14. There will be circa 300 creators of art/lit gathering under the roof of Église Saint-Enfant Jésus, 5035 St-Dominique, which is about a 5 minute walk from Laurier Métro. The hours are from noon-6 p.m on both days.

Lickety Split has a table at Expozine, so please come on over and say hi!

Sunday, November 07, 2010

Lickety Split: Legendary, local, and lovely.

Many thanks to everyone who attended the Lickety Split reading last Wednesday, November 3, at the Concordia Co-op Bookstore. Olga Wolstenholme, Guillaume Morissette, and I, all read work as part of the Co-op's amazing Local Legends series. We had a blast! 'Twas a night of laughs, chats, and cupcakes. Hopefully, we'll be doing more Lickety readings in the future, but let me get back to you on that one. Otherwise, can't wait to see you all at Expozine next weekend!

Thursday, October 28, 2010

Love, Anonymously: Racialicious’ First Ever Blog Carnival

  • Check out this call for submissions over on Racialicious, penned by Latoya Peterson, who starts off her blog post saying "I’ve been reading articles about sex a long, long time. And yet, far too many discussions of sex, love, and whatever else tend to be dominated by one perspective – young, white women." The call out is below:

So here’s the first official call. Entries are due November 30th, 2010, and we will start running the pieces in November and December. Sexual Correspondent Andrea Plaid is co-editing, and we are hoping for a huge mix of participants.

What are we looking for?

Anything really. But for those of you who need a prompt, here are some things like I would like to see:

  • General commentary on sex and dating
  • First times
  • Discussions of abstinence and virginity
  • The construction of masculinity and how that impacts dating, love, and sex
  • Racial stereotypes/perceptions and their impact on your sex life
  • Being part of a “sexless” class and how that impacts dating, love, and sex

Guidelines are the same as general Racialicious ones.

Submissions can be in any format – would love to see poems, erotica, comics, illustrations, video, and audio, as well as straight text. Please include a transcript with video/audio. Anonymity can be arranged – the best way I can see it to upload your file to a drop.io, send it to team@racialicious.com and just use a fake email address. But we can figure that out as we go.
Questions, comments, please leave them down below.

And with that, we look forward to reading.

Tuesday, October 26, 2010

Support Audio Smut!

For the next few weeks, CKUT 90.3FM will be holding it's annual funding drive to help cover their operating costs. Worthy cause people! Radio is freefreefree and the content on this station is awesome and envelope-pushing, so show your appreciation in a manner that will sustain this collective, community-based enterprise!

For my part, I'm planning to support the sex-positive radio show, Audio Smut. The program airs the first Wednesday of every month between 6-7pm and can listened to on the dial, on-line or via podcast. I wish I could embed their sexy mp3 incentive that's being sent around...alas Wordpress ain't having it! Update: But don't listen to me, listen to them moan it out!


  • More about Audio Smut: Audio Smut is a racy radio show exploring the vast terrain of sexuality. We are a feminist collective of sex positive activists who are committed to finding creative ways of challenging notions of decency. We’re here to shake things up, moan in your ears, and provoke your inner pervert.
  • # 2 Radio Show in Montreal 2010!!!
  • Honourable Mention in Best Radio Show category, Best of Montreal, 2009.
  • Consider donating to CKUT. It costs 60$ an hour to keep the radio broadcasting. Every bit counts.
  • Call 514.907.9424 to pledge or online. Make sure to say you are pledging to Audio Smut
  • The highest donor will get this signed poster from Buck Angel.

Sunday, October 24, 2010

I'll trade Cho for Foucault ANYDAY

In preparation for my mid term I polished off Michel Foucault's History of Sexuality v. 2 in an evening. To reward myself I watched some clips from Margaret Cho's All American Girl Tour. I have seriously been laughing my head off on the couch for the past thirty minutes...its awkward, I know my neighbors can hear me!

Heres one I thought you lickety luvers might enjoy:

Thursday, October 21, 2010

LS #8: The Work Issue Now Available through Microcosm Publishing!

Here at Lickety Split, we love us some Microcosm!

"A [Portland-based] not-for-profit, collectively-run publisher and distributor of zines and related work, Microcosm Publishing strives to add credibility to zine writers and their ethics, teach self empowerment, show hidden history, and nurture people's creative side!"

Browse Microcosm's massive zine library here and purchase LS #8 here.

Wednesday, October 20, 2010


Poster by Jamie Ross

This Thursday!!
10 pm-3 am


SOLAR YEAR (http://www.myspace.com/solaryear)
The return of MISS LADY SWAMP PUSSY (http://www.myspace.com/MISSLADYSWAMPPSSY)

DILLY DALLY (Toronto) (http://www.myspace.com/dillydillydally)


HUSK by JAMIE ROSS (http://www.jamierosspower.blogspot.com/)

MYSTERIOUS AND OUT OF BODY ASS PLAY by DeDAUW (assplay actually unconfirmed - sry folks)




Probably some special guests. Come by after GLAM GAM, or drop in early for a sophisticated ode to the gloryhole. Maybe someone will read your sexy tarot cards.

STONEDHENGE is a basement in Little Italy at 6827 St. Denis. Please come round the alleyway in the back & please remember, that this is somebody's home and a quiet family neighbourhood so respect the neighbours while you party. The alley is between St. Zotique and Belanger, just east of St. Denis!

Entrance is $5 or PWYC; proceeds to go to Lickety Split Smut Zine - keeping you horny since 2004.
See More

FB Event

The Color Purple

Today I will be wearing purple to commemorate the recent suicides that have happened this year as a result of homophobia.

(RIP Tyler Clementi, Seth Walsh, Justin Aaberg, Raymond Chase, Asher Brown, Cody J. Barker, Harrison Chase Brown, Caleb Nolt, Billy Lucas, Jeanine Blanchette, and Chantal Dube)

The video below was found on The Fashion Pirates and shows a rally for safe space.

LGBT Rally for Safe Space from Targum Editor on Vimeo.

Because I am writing on the medium of a blog, I think Tyler Clementi's story is important. Tyler's dorm roommate at Rutgers University in New Jersey, filmed him with another man and streamed the video on the Internet. This unethical display of outing shows the extent of how unsafe some communities can be towards the LGBTQ community.

However, I also feel that the Internet can be an amazing tool to connect the community together and find support. I saw an empowering video by Dan Savage and his partner Terry, in which they speak to youth about how it gets better once you are able to exit oppressive spaces.

Today I will be thinking about the importance of enforcing that safe space exists while young people are still in school. The color purple on the gay flag is meant to embody "Spirit" and if you are curious...you can see my purple outfit on my style blog HERE at FASHION MADE ME FUNKY.

Sunday, September 26, 2010

Bonbon Bombay

I am taking a class this semester called Sexuality and Cinema, and for our first assignment my professor had us go out on the town and do an analysis of a sexy place or event happening in the city. I could have gone to a sex shop, strip club, peep parlor, queer dance party (actually I did this on Saturday night anyways), but my project partner and I decided to go to Mainline theater for a burlesque drawing class starring last year's winner of the Montreal International Burlesque Festival, Bonbon Bombay.
Picture 3

She came out in three elaborate costumes, striking poses and daintily undressing while the crowd drew away. I especially loved drawing her first costume, which you can see in this burlesque video below!

If you are in the class, or took the class, where did you go? What did you do? And what porno films did you watch? I got into the film maker Erika Lust. So hot!!!

Get the rest of the post on my blog Fashion Made Me Funky!

Thursday, September 16, 2010

Jef Barbara

Major musical Up and Cummer in the Montreal scene! Check it!

Thursday, September 09, 2010

Goodbye Spread Magazine, and thanks for all the Awesome.

Spread Magazine, an excellent and volunteer run publication based in NY, is folding after five years of awesomeness. Here's their mission:
  • "We believe that all sex workers have a right to self-determination; to choose how we make a living and what we do with our bodies. We aim to build community and destigmatize sex work by providing a forum for the diverse voices of individuals working in the sex industry."
Here are their goodbye messages which are valuable for their transparency and hope for future sex-work activist initiatives. From the Spread Magazine blog:

Message 1

Hello $pread fans. We regret to inform you that, while we expect to publish 5.4, the Crime and Punishment Issue and 6.1, the Race Issue (guest-edited by a fabulous collective of sex workers of color) by January, $pread will close its glittery doors soon after the dawn of the New Year.

Once the remaining two issues have been posted, we will fulfill subscriptions for those of you who are owed them with the option of back issues, or, if you’re feeling generous, a waiver to help us with closing costs. We apologize for those of you who have only recently come to know us, and to all our longtime supporters. After all these years, five all-volunteer years to be exact, we have come to the conclusion that an all-volunteer magazine is simply unsustainable in the current publishing climate. Short of a donation of $30,000, we will be unable to sustain the magazine past January.

For those of you with a hankering for $pread merchandise and back issues, make sure to go to the $pread Shop (www.spreadmagazine.org/shop) in the next few months. For those of you who do not currently have a subscription, please purchase the next two issues individually. Once we print the next two issues, we will donate the materials to our outreach partners as well as lay the foundation for a physical archive, complete with all the $pread memories of yore, blemishes and all.

We hope that you will look forward to a $pread retrospective in book form, featuring highlights of our five years of publishing. We will also package a ‘$pread Scrapbook’ for sex worker advocates looking for tips and tricks on publishing a magazine by and for people working in the sex industry. We are producing these materials in the hopes that our model will help motivate the continued movement for social justice among our many and varied communities, in the same way Danzine inspired our own publication. We also close our doors in the comfort of knowing that right now, around the world, sex worker-run and sex worker-supportive media such as ConStellation (www.chezstella.org) in Montreal, Flower in Beijing, and Red Light District Chicago (www.redlightdistrictchicago.com) are holding forth on the issues that matter to our communities.

$pread was motivated by the motto “Illuminating the Sex Industry.” We submit these five years of blood, sweat, and tears to you as a testament to this founding sentiment. May the struggle to end the stigma, discrimination, and violence perpetrated against our communities end in justice, and may the flashy strobe light of sex worker rights never go out, but illuminate the sex industry for the world to see.

Message 2

Dear $pread family. We want to thank you for the incredible showing of support in response to our “R.I.P. $pread” announcement. We received countless messages reinforcing the value of $pread in your communities. Over the years, we have consistently turned to our P.O. Box and email inboxes to justify our continued involvement, and your letters have fueled the all-nighters and sweaty schlepping that magazine publishing requires. This time, however, we are truly closing shop.

While the offers of money to continue publishing are tempting, we want to make it loud and clear, $pread is dead. We want to apologize for quoting the $30K figure offhand. We simply don't have the volunteer commitment, transition time, or infrastructure to support a continuation of the magazine beyond January. Even if there was $100K made available to us, we are unable to guarantee the survival of the magazine. Given this uncertainty, we prefer to go out on a high note with Issue 6.1, the Race Issue, slated for completion in January.

Once again, we encourage others to pick up where we left off. We will package a '$pread Scrapbook' for those looking for tips and tricks on publishing a magazine by and for people working in the sex industry. We did a lot wrong over the years, and learned a lot while doing it, but the the gist of $pread remains unchanged: $pread's commitment to an open dialogue by and for current and former sex workers, including the good and the ugly of our work, and illuminating the sex industry for the world to see. We hope that any future publication will take this goal to heart. Only with unabashed critique, both of our industry and our communities, including the sometimes exploitative fees, the racist hiring practices and the racist, ageist, and sizeist payment differentials, will we come together as one community and achieve justice.

For those of you with a hankering for $pread merchandise and back issues, make sure to go to the $pread Shop (www.spreadmagazine.org/shop) in the next few months. Once we print the next two issues, we will donate the materials to our outreach partners as well as lay the foundation for a physical archive, complete with all the $pread memories of yore, blemishes and all.

Wednesday, September 01, 2010

Up Yours Benefit for Lickety Split this Friday!

Cum on out this Friday, September 3rd for a dance party in support of Lickety Split!

Cabaret Playhouse
5656 Avenue du Parc
11 pm to 3am

Like the wolf
...et invitées

5$ pwyc
fundraiser for lickety split smut zine

FB event

Thursday, August 26, 2010

Sexualizing Shakespear

In these videos, the comedian shows how the sad fate of Shakespearean women could be avoided if they simply turn to their sassy gay friend for guidance. I just watched a new one about "The Giving Tree"...You remember the children's book where the tree gives everything she's got to the guy and ends up a stump on the ground? Nooo freaking way, you stupid bi-atch.

Thursday, August 12, 2010


Making generalizations: Hipsters are the worst!! But this video is funny.

Wednesday, August 11, 2010

Get between the covers!

Montreal's third annual queer book fair Queer Between the Covers will be taking place this Saturday! The event is being presented by Qteam as part of PERVERS/CITÉ. There will be a wide array of books, zines, and queer cultural productions from across eastern North America, in addition to awesome objects from local zinesters and artists.

Lickety Split will most definitely have a table at this event, so please do come and say hi!

Queer Between the Covers
Saturday, August 14
Centre St. Pierre, 1212 rue Panet, #1205

Rosanne meets Riot Grrrl

Tuesday, August 10, 2010

Lickety Split Now Available at Bluestockings Books in New York City

Hooray! Lickety Split has landed in New York City at Bluestockings Bookstore, Cafe and Activist Center! If you live in New York or are just visiting, be sure to check out this legendary space on the tres arty Lower East Side.

172 Allen St.
New York, NY 10002

Monday, August 02, 2010

The joy of smut!

Hey folks!

I'm quite pleased to inform you that Lickety Split is now available at Joy Toyz (4200 boul. St. Laurent, Suite 415)!
Joy Toyz is a hidden gem in an office building on Montreal's Main. They are a sex toy shop that is sex-positive, inclusive, with a sense of community and a really friendly atmosphere. Check 'em out!

Saturday, July 31, 2010

The Blow Monkeys

The Dirty Dancing Soundtrack is truly a gem. While at the gym, I gave a new reading to the song "You Don't Own Me" which had always been sung by women before it was covered and sung by Dr. Robert of The Blow Monkeys for the *fabulous* Dirty Dancing soundtrack.

For the Dirty Dancing its pretty refreshing to hear a man wail the lyrics "You don't own me/Don't say I can't go with other boys" and "You don't own me. Don't try to change me in any way...You don't own me...Don't tie me down 'Cuz I'll never stay" AND "Just let me be myself, thats all I ask of you"...amazing!

Upon hearing this, I decided to look into The Blow Monkeys, sure that they had other subversive tunes up their sleeves. I quickly found the song "Digging Your Scene" which came out in 1986 and topped the charts. Underneath the pop success were sad and honest lyrics about losing a friend to HIV, and acknowledging that it could be his fate as well. In the chorus Dr. Robert asks, "Oh tell me why is it I'm digging your scene, baby? I know I'll die, baby". I found an article about the song where the author wrote "It’s nice to know that even now, when gays are still denied basic rights that others take for granted and religious organizations actively lobby Congress to keep anti-gay discrimination legal, there was a time in the middle of the bright and shiny ‘80s when a pop band wasn’t afraid to challenge the hateful rhetoric of the day with a song that still remains genuine ear candy."

Tuesday, July 27, 2010

West Side Story

Just a quick note to any Lickety Split readers out in the West end of Montreal: you can now find our latest issue, as well as some back issues, at Co-op la maison verte (5785 Sherbrooke O.) and at Diamond Books (5035 Sherbrooke O.).

Wednesday, July 21, 2010

Distro Dandy

Hello all!

A little introduction is in order. My name is Mark Ambrose Harris, and I am now doing distribution for Lickety Split. You might say I am the official Distro Dandy. As a long time supporter of, and a contributor to this publication, I am very excited to get quality smut into your hands.

Lickety Split #8: The Work Issue, is still hot off the presses, and looks fantastic. I have been biking around the city, and delivering the new issue to some great establishments. So if you are in Montreal, you can now pick up LS #8 at The Concordia Community Solidarity Co-Op Bookstore (2150 Bishop), Cheap Thrills (2044 Metcalfe), Galerie Monastiraki (5478 St-Laurent), and Sound Central Record Shop (4486 Coloniale).

I will continue to get LS into other shops around town, and I promise to keep you updated. If you know of any establishments that would like to carry Lickety Split, please do not hesitate to contact me: markambroseharris@gmail.com.

Happy reading!

Please Vote for Miniature Frolic

Three of Lickety Split's lovely team members, *safe solvent, Lalouka and Gold Smith, recently collaborated on this whimsical short film, "Miniature Frolic." This week, they submitted it to a competition on Talenthouse. If it wins, it will appear at the "A Shaded View on Fashion" film festival in Paris!

Please take the time to view this Sofia Coppola-esque treat and vote before Friday to send the Lickety Team to Paris.

Faggity Ass Fridays: The Gayest Party of All Time!

Head & Hands and the Playhouse present:


Featuring music by Benni E !!!! (Philly)
Kitty Van Dyke
Tooloose Letrick
Connie Lingua

DJ Fucks
DJ Noisy Nora

Photobooth of Faggotry and Dyketude with Diana Le Nézet

On July 30th, Faggity Ass Friday is bringing you the gayest party of all time ever. Bust out your spandex, your feather boa, your sailor cap, and throw them all in a blender. Performers Kitty Van Dyke, Tooloose Letrick, and Connie Lingua will take their queer and smear it on the stage. Come early, and pose in our Photobooth of Faggotry and Dyketude with Diana Le Nézet. Benni E is queer hiphop, coming all the way from Philly to burn the disco down.

And say a big sloppy FAREWELL to NOISY NORA as she moves on to gayer pastures!

We mean it kids.
Gayest ever. Get ready.


Friday, July 30th, 2010
The Playhouse (5656 Avenue du Parc)
$10 suggested donation; all money goes to the Sense Project

FB event

Monday, July 19, 2010

File Under: Amazing Ad of the Day

I wish this ad was real. A public recruitment campaign that sought to entice people into nursing through the prospect of improving women's gynecological health would be rad.

Thursday, July 15, 2010

UP YOURS! Fundraiser for G20 Legal Defense Fund - This Friday





This party is a fundraiser for the g20 legal defense fund! Come show your love for those who are still in jail, were detained, or anyone on the streets of Toronto (or those who think about them) and....take your clothes off.

Five dollars suggested donation at the door. All proceeds go to the g20 legal defense fund.

Friday, June 16
Doors 11 pm
The Playhouse
5656 Avenue du Parc

Facebook event

For more information on how you can help - join this group:

Wednesday, July 14, 2010

Lickety Split smut zine seeks Co-Event Planner Extraordinaire!

Lickety Split smut zine is searching for a gregarious, organized and self-motivated volunteer to become our new Montreal events co-coordinator!

We are looking for a creative individual who is familiar with the amazing, sex positive and queer friendly events currently happening in Montreal. Previous experience with event planning is desired as well as the ability to work autonomously and in collaboration with the Lickety Split team.

As our co-party-thrower extraordinaire, you will work alongside Lickety's current event planner in order to organize our monthly Smut on the Dance Floor Event. What's more, you will share in the exciting task of approaching and collaborating with existing organizations in order to foster and grow a community dedicated to sex positive expression and thought.

Duties will include working with and booking: venues, DJs, bands, poster artists, volunteers and other performers in a professional and courteous manner. Flexibility and trouble-shooting skills are a must, and experience with the media is an asset.

Though this is an unpaid gig, refreshments, space and time will be available as well as major kudos, high fives and freebies along the way. Each issue of Lickety Split relies heavily on the revenue generated by our events and your contribution as event planner is essential to our production!

For those of you who are interested in beefing up your resume, or have talent to share, please send a cover letter and your CV to Sarah at beall.sarah@gmail.com

The deadline to apply is July 31, 5pm. Lickety Split is an equal opportunity "employer" and members of traditionally disadvantaged groups are encouraged to apply.

Lickety Split is a pansexual smut zine dedicated to encouraging sex-positive expression and thought. The zine promotes collaborative art making and encourages diverse contributions to climb into bed with one another, because one sexual expression just does not satisfy. Lickety Split wants to help make the masses cum with smutty photography and art, essays and stories in order to fulfill the whole human being and address the complexity of sex.

Tuesday, July 13, 2010

The Top 5 Pop-Culture-Themed Sex Toys

This past week at Nerve, I was given the arduous task of researching pop-culture-themed sex toys and writing a piece ranking them in order of greatness. (I know, my life is hard). And, while I wasn't able to go so far as to test them out, I did un-earth a wide variety of blow-up dolls, many of which I was unable to include in the list for fear they would overwhelm it.

Lucky for you, Lickety Loverrrs, I'm presenting you with the list on Nerve, and, one of my personal favorites that didn't make that list: The Beyonce Love Doll!

Yes, that's right folks, "you don't have to put a ring on this slutty siren."

Oh, my, what plumbing the depths of the internet will bring you!

California Gays to Wash the Rain Away

It's raining here in New York, and as I dream about dryer climates and teeny-weeny bikinis, this uber-gay parody of Katy Perry's California Gurls feels just about perfect pitch. When Perry released this sugar-coated, gittery, candy-colored orgy of a video a couple of weeks ago, we were so appalled by horny gummy bears and a decided "un-street" Snoop Dog cameo, that we didn't have enough brain cells to pay attention to the song's lyrics. Not that this is necessarily advisable, mind you, but it is interesting to note how a trio of dancing twinks can give a hot injection of fun into what may inevitably become that song you can't stop singing in spite of yourself.

Paging Control-era, Janet: These California Gays are totally fine, fresh, fierce, and dying to be back-up dancers in your next video.

Tuesday, July 06, 2010

Rainbow Fetish!

My friend Amelia commented: "And then he came all over the rainbow."

Friday, June 25, 2010

The 5 Best Sex-Themed TED Talks on Nerve.com

Check it out, y'all! This morning, your lovely Lickety Split editor has an article about the sexiest TED Talks on Nerve.com.

Remember when I wrote about Mary Roach's, "Ten Things you didn't know about orgasm," and Make Love Not Porn? Totally happy to be giving a shout-out once again.

Sunday, June 20, 2010

Anna Paquin is Bisexual! :)

Writing a paper on Divine, and someone stumbled upon this!

Monday, June 14, 2010

Lickety Split #8: The Work Issue is Finally Here!!

Bust out yr smutty toolbox and dust off those dirty, kinky boots, because Lickety Split 8: The Work Issue, is finally here!

Featuring smutty writing, art and photography by: Mikel Marton, Mark Ambrose Harris, Sophie Glowa, Samara Leibner, Valerie Webber, Farah Khan, Noisy Nora, Gloria Gloryhole, Monogamie and more!!

Slip into the staxxx with Susie Lovelace, learn how to get fabulous muscles, take more sex days, and find out how to get kinky on the cheap!

Through labour pains and stock market gains, LS 8 The Work issue has got your smutty career aspirations covered!

More colour pages than ever! A gorgeous, "high concept" silkcreened cover! Richly saturated black and white images! Great writing! Naked people! FSC-approved printing process! Self-actualized smut!

>>>>VOTED #4 Maga(zine) in the Montreal Mirror Best Of Montreal 2010!<<<<< "Since appearing in 2004, Lickety Split has been dedicated to tenting your pants, wetting your undies and pressing a nerve." - Sacha Jackson, The Montreal Mirror "It seems that every marginalized group wants its own version of pornography — punks, gays, lesbians, straight indie-rock chicks. But for those who want all of the above, there's Lickety Split." - Amber Drea, Venus Zine Buy on Etsy

Wednesday, May 26, 2010

Faggity in Space!!!

Head and Hands and the Playhouse present...

Faggity Ass Fridays:

ASS-tronauts, Spandex, Alien Beauties and more! Wear you best Barbarella or Alien Encounter outfit. Get ready to give face....in gayspaccccceee! We have drag, burlesque, and more to titillate your out of this world senses. Our DJs will be showing the Rocket Man a few things about beats. Come for an out of this world experience, and stay for the homos!

Noisy Nora

Kitty Van Dyke
Sarah "Laser" Claire
Connie Lingua


Friday, May 28th, 2010
The Playhouse (5656 Avenue du Parc)
$10 suggested donation; all money goes to the Sense Project

Saturday, May 22, 2010

Lickety Split #8: The Work Issue Launch Party and Career Day Ball!!!

Lickety Split Issue #8: The Work Issue is finally going to press!
Come get your copy of the zine and enjoy a night of great music, dancing and smut with us.
Don't forget to dress as your favourite profession!

Featuring smutty writing, art and photography by: Mark Ambrose Harris, Sophie Glowa, Samara Leibner, Valerie Webber, Farah Khan, Noisy Nora, Gloria Gloryhole, Monogamie and more!!

Slip into the staxxx with Susie Lovelace, learn how to get fabulous muscles, take more sex days, and find out how to get kinky on the cheap!

Through labour pains and stock market gains, LS #8: The Work issue has got your smutty career aspirations covered!

Music By:
Supr Fossl Powr
and DJ Noisy Nora

Burlesque Acts By:
Glam Gam Productions

Also, the dirty photo booth will there, so cum on camera!

$8 gets you in and a copy of the zine!
Friday, June 4th
Il Motore, 179 Jean Talon O.
Doors @ 9
Bands @ 10
Smut all night!

FB Event

Thursday, May 13, 2010

The Bare Necessities!!!

Glam Glam Productions is putting on their latest burlesque act, The Bare Necessities. It is going to be wicked awesome and jungle themed... I hear there will be an elephant. Go and show your support! Everyone likes naked people! All donations and proceeds from interactive games and activities go to Head and Hands. 3 Nights!

Click here to see the Facebook invitation

Wednesday, May 12, 2010

A Summer Dress

This is the first clip in a short film called A Summer Dress by Francois Ozon. I used to to be able to watch the whole film on You Tube but its been taken off. If you can get your hands on the rest I recommend it. Hot characters, beautiful filming and a simple story line that toys around with gender and sexuality make this little film a very memorable one for me.

Basically, the boy on the lawn chair is uncomfortable about being out. He leaves his passionate partner and goes to the beach where a seductress takes him into the woods and has sex with him. A case of stolen clothes and dress borrowing frees the young man from his insecurities. He wears the dress home and when his lover sees him he lustily rips the dress off, they take hold of each other and screw like never before. A happy ending for all.

Wednesday, May 05, 2010

Tuesday, April 20, 2010

Highly Fuckable

if i could fuck one decade it would be the nineties.

Monday, April 19, 2010

Nominate Folks You Desire/Respect/Admire for The Highly Fuckables List! And, get the Dead Dolls to solve your Workplace Woes!

It's that time again, loverrrs! As we speedily put together Lickety Split #8: The Work Issue, we need YOU to let us know who should be on the Highly Fuckables List!

Do you know anyone you wanna nominate? Yourself maybe? It's okay. Do it. We won't tell anyone.

So, once again, let's make a big list of names of those you desire/respect/admire so that they can be included in the next issue of Lickety Split smut zine (coming out June 4th - save the date!)

So, these get PUBLISHED. So you gotta really want it, you know? Like you really gotta mean this naming of names, this big-upping of loves/friends/lovers. Once again, it's totally secret. So. Let's start! Send suggestions to "sarah AT licketysplitzine DOT com".


Photo by Andrea Joy

This issue we are proud to present a new feature: Ask The Dead Dolls--a sex advice column brought to you by the sauciest, most "experienced" zombshells in town!

Having a sex-related quandary at work? Why not write in and see if these undead hussies can't help you make your boss's/co-worker's/clients's eyeballs pop with pleasure?

Don't delay! Send suggestions to "sarah AT licketysplitzine DOT com".


I finished school today and summer has flung itself on my doorstep. And I say, there's no better way to celebrate than to vote Lickety Split for Montreal Mirror's Best Maga/zine (obvi) and listen to Best Coast. The music perfectly cultivates a summer time breeziness… lazy wine drinking, pool hopping, rooftops, dancing to S Club 7 and rollin up the rim on a Horny Tim's coffee cup (WIN!) The California duo make me want to ride my bike down Parc street when its morning and the air is balmy singing out loud "I thought of you-ooooh--ohh-oooh-oh" and not caring who sees me (well, kinda caring, but not enough to stop). They make me want to fall onto that mattress on the floor in a shoe box bedroom with no air conditioning and make out for hours and hours. Best Coast makes me wanna smoke a joint, in a meadow where the grass is tall and the sky is blue (and I don’t even like weed) Bethany's voice purrs out, right at you - she sings about wishing you liked her more, how she has fun when she’s with you, how there’s something in the way you say her name. I went to the show the other night and when she sang, “I want you. I want you...soooo much” I wanted to scream, “I’m yours! I will fuck you right here, right now.” In my best (coast) fantasy, she blinks her doe eyes at me, sways behind her guitar and simply says, “Rad.”

Sunday, April 18, 2010

Vote for Lickety Split in the BOM!

Dearest Lickety Loverrrs,

When you're voting for this year's "best of Montreal" in the Mirror, please remember to vote Lickety Split smut zine in the best maga/zine category!

The deadline for entries is Wednesday, April 21st at Midnight.
Vote at this link: http://bit.ly/9VT0tG

As always, thanks for yr smutty support!
Lickety Split smut zine

Thursday, April 15, 2010

Vintage Vandalizm

I love this blogger...words that come to mind: sexy, strong, driven, pin up, creative, sassy! Shout outs to Lickety blog reader Becky for getting me on to this fabulous woman!

Sunday, April 11, 2010


Confession number one: I googled "Heidi Montag Plastic Surgery" tonight. But why!??? You may be wondering. You see, I had a girl crush on Heidi when the hills first came out and I was disturbed and also fascinated by the bizarre transformation she underwent. But I can tell you this: My girl crush has evaporated along with all that was natural about Heidi.

Confession number two: I also watched videos of Heidi discussing her operation. I GOT SUCKED IN, like the fat on Heidi's leg that was injected into her bum cheeks.

Confession number three:
Youtube led me to watch this video posted above of Lauren Conrad on Lettermen. It made me so uncomfortable!! The guy started talking about her alleged sex tape and the tension through the screen was so intense I felt I could cut right through it with a knife. (Insert Heidi Montag Botched Surgery Pun HERE)

The reason I am posting this video is because I like how when the interviewer makes a pervy comment, Lauren clearly shows discomfort, and makes the interviewer crawl into his skin. The rest of the interview is awkward and cringe-worthy, but who cares? And although Lauren could have been more verbal, I like how she allowed the moment to get weird, instead of just letting t it roll away and disappear into the "DAMN that made me so uncomfortable and mad! I wish i said something or did something to let them know that was not okay" category of her brain.

Confession number four: It's something I'd really like to work on myself.

I really can't see myself getting so antsy about a sex tape...but If it were me on the show (live television eeeek) and he made a pervy comment, I would probably laugh it off and make a joke about seeing him naked or something, a comment which would make it possible to avoid dealing with the uncomfortable feelings brewing inside of me. I think this video serves as a good reminder to face oppressive comments straight on no matter where I am or who I am with. To engage discussion and thoughtfully address whats ticking me off.

I find Lauren Conrad as boring as a doornob for most of this video (can't she say anything interesting?) But at least she sticks to her guns...if looks could kill the guy would have been dead on the spot.)


Monday, April 05, 2010

Itty Bitty Titties ( . Y . )

Most movies bore me to tears. I tried watching "Taking Woodstock" last night and turned it off after twenty minutes...So slow! No story! Who cares?! But I absolutely LOVED "The Itty Bitty Titty Committee". The movie won a slew of awards, and was directed by the same woman who made "But I'm A Cheerleader". It's a radical lesbian feminist coming of age story thats political and sexy...and well, it makes me feel good about my Itty Bitty Titties
( . Y . )

Lust for LIfe: An all 70s/80s Queer Dance Partay!

Saturday April 10th--Eastern Bloc--9:30pm-3:am

Sors ton spandex et paillettes pour ton meilleur look Disco/Glam des années 70 – or your black eyeliner and lace New Wave/New Romantic look from the 80s!!

Glam hip hop ska
Funk new wave disco
Pop Soul punk

DJ Noisy Nora rockin’ it all night long!!
Elle va vous faire bouger toute la nuit!!

Viens t’amuser et danser pour seulement $8!!!
Dance the night away for only $8!!!
Eastern Bloc- 7240 Rue Clark

Who/Qui: Les femmes queer/trans and their friends!

What/Qui: An all 70s/80s Queer Dance Party!!
Cruise les filles et bouge tes fesses!!

This looks super fun, y'all! See you there!

Wednesday, March 24, 2010


Head & Hands and the Playhouse present:

Turn off the BayWatch; turn on the GayWatch! Speedos, one piece, two piece, no piece? Get suited up and get ready to get wet at The Playhouse on Friday, March 26th for Faggity Ass Fridays. The past few months have been long and grey, but unseasonably warm temperatures inside the Playhouse have caused mass sweating, high fevers, and veritable tidal waves of uncontrollable gyrations all winter long. Whether spring has sprung or it’s just a tease, Faggity Ass Fridays promises a much-needed hit of Vitamin D(J) with a straight-up gay-up dance party to celebrate the season.

DJs Sam, ThomCarlo and Noisy Nora will match the fresh surf with fresh beats.


(FAFs fave drag kings return!)
(a queen to the max, she brings the waves to the masses)
(ukulele duo, ready to sway you with their tunes!)

As always, money raised from this monthly event goes directly to the Sense Project, Head & Hands’ inclusive, holistic sex education program.

For more info: www.senseproject.org / www.headandhands.ca / 514-481-0277.

Keep up to speedo with the Faggity Ass Blog! www.faggityassfridays.blogspot.com

Friday, March 26, 2010
The Playhouse (5656 Avenue du Parc)
$10 suggested donation; all money goes to the Sense Project

FB event

Tuesday, March 23, 2010

We're One of Lina Harper's Favrit Tings!

Our lovely friend and ally Lina Harper has a great blog going on over at xtra.ca. It's called Kox and Kuntz, and today she posted a special profile of new Lickety Split editor, Sarah Beall!

In it, you'll find delectable tidbits on everything from Sarah's views on the sex positive vibe in Montreal to which public figure she thinks has "amazing top energy."

Check 'er out!

Sunday, March 21, 2010

Thank You!

Hey Guys,

Thanks to all of you who have been supporting Lickety Split over the last few months by coming to our dance parties. Last night's Spring Break '98 party was a huge success and we're feeling cool as cucumbers about being able to cover our printing costs.

Lickety Split smut zine

P.S. For those of you who couldn't make it or simply want to relive all the 90s awesomeness, here is a classic that had me dancing like nobody's business!

Thursday, March 18, 2010

Wednesday, March 17, 2010

work that elastic, its looking fantastic.

"when I place my legs in a cage of spandex, i dance like hell to release the madness.
watch my feet pound holes in ply wood, watch my hips crush plates of baked goods!"
-Leslie Hall of Leslie and the Ly's.

i just read about her here a very fascinating woman!

im making this song an official request for lickety splits spring break dance party! i'll be the one dancing in tight pants. so watch out for my body rolls.
see you there!!


Tuesday, March 16, 2010

Lickety Split Smut zine presents: Smut on the Dance Floor-Spring Break '98 Edition!!!!

Bust out that old neon bikini or the speedo that has been forgotten about and left in the back of your drawer because it is Spring Break!

We are so close to meeting our fundraising goal for our next issue so we need YOU to come out and support us and get your dancing groove on to some rockin' 90's tunes, because a proper spring break only really exists in the 90's.

The 20th of March is the first day of spring so I think a dance party is in order.

The dancing starts at midnight, with bands at 11 pm.

Muscle man

Le Belmont
$5-10 (100% of profits go directly into pitching tents and keeping panties wet)

DO IT!!!!!!!!!!!
It's going to be awesome!!!!!!

The Finer Details:
Saturday, March 20th, 2010
11 pm-3 am
Le Belmont
4483 St-Laurent (near rue Mont-Royal)

FB event

Sunday, March 07, 2010

Beyond Human: The Sexy Robot Edition

Looks like Rhianna got those hunky robots a little too excited with her not so subtle song stylings!

Impromptu poll:

Robot Bukkake-Hotttt? Society is not ready? Yawn?

Let a girl know, ya'll.

Seriously though, do you have any thoughts about this fairly tongue and cheek approach to the money shot? Maybe Rhianna is a fan of a little squirt in the face? Should I lay off on a critique lest it lead to moral panic? Is what goes on between a horny robot and his consenting lady friend on the privacy of their own stage really my concern?

Here's the full performance for the curious:

Saturday, March 06, 2010

Fabulously Femme! Listen to the Audio Smut Femme Edition Online!

Discussing Femme identity with so many fabulous femmes last Wednesday on Audio Smut almost immediately became one of my personal highlights for 2010.

Missed the show? Fear not, young smutster, for it is available online on the Audio Smut blog!

Wednesday, March 03, 2010

Audio Smut Presents: Femme

Listen in to CKUT 90.3 fm onWednesday, March 3rd at 6 pm for Femme -- an entire hour of radio dedicated to discussing femme identity and what it means to a variety of self-identified femmes!!

Expect :

~ Audiocollage decadence of Femmechats

~ Interviews with Amber Dawn (With a Rough Tongue: Femmes Write Porn) and Rachel Kramer Bussel (Glamour Girls: Femme/Femme Erotica)

+++A roundtable talk live instudio with self-identified femmes and femme loverrrrs (Including yours truly!) about Femme IDs and more

- When do we feel the most femme?
- Is it radical to be femme? Is it not?
- How do we "do" femme?

Wednesday, March 3rd
6-7 pm
CKUT 90.3 fm or ckut.ca

Audio smut blog

FB event

Sunday, February 28, 2010


like not in a mtv becoming way but in a 'i danced in my room and posted this on youtube' kinda way?
but in front of a bunch of people kinda way?


This Saturday at Cagibi, 2Realcrew presents DANCE VIDEO KARAOKE where you can chose any youtube video you want, act out the dance sequence, and strut your stuff!!!

like this dude:

Or these fine freak bitch babies:

Normal karaoke also available, but dancing strongly encouraged.

5$ suggested donation - proceeds go to Lickety Split.

//////////////IT'S YOUR TIME TO SHINE\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\

Saturday, March 6, 2010
@ Cagibi, 5490 St-Laurent

FB event