Sunday, December 28, 2008


To celebrate our 1 year anniversary, we've teamed up with the lovely folks at the Mainline Theatre this year to put on a FREE New Year's Eve Slowdance Night!

With a lending library of designated dancers for all you wallflowers, and a dancecard-booklet to set up dances in advance, Slowdance Night has all slow songs, all night long!

It's high school with a happy ending, and it's queer, senior, and couple-friendly too.

PS. Fantastic and inspired attire, while desired, is not required.


"Relive the prom without the angst." - the Canadian Press

"In an age where physical contact is a scarce commodity, an event that brings strangers safely together is long overdue." - The Montreal Gazette

"I really like hugging people, and this is like, a five-minute hug." - Telyn Kusalik, one of our guests


Mainline Theatre
3997 St-Laurent Blvd. (Just south of Duluth)
December 31st, New Year's Eve!
Doors at 10, Dance from 11 PM - Dawn
Dancecards available!

For more info, please consider joining our facebook group,
"Slowdancers of the World Unite & Dance Slow"

Thursday, December 25, 2008

Sunday, December 14, 2008

Weekly Video -- Happy Hanukkah!

...starting in two days. Is everyone aware of all the sexy musical Jews out there? David Bowie, Lou Reed, Elvis....

Friday, December 12, 2008

Dirty Photo Booth -- Sexy Sailors!!

Sailor Skye and her scamp-ish friend were hoisting the jibs* (if you know what I mean) behind the sweaty black curtain at the Beyond Human launch party. Avast!

*Not even remotely a nautical term.

Pole-Dancing Robots!


Gift Ideas!

So yeah, we're consumers as well as smut peddlers. Here are a few items you might consider buying up for the lovely ones in your life (including yourself)~! OK and this list ain't strictly smutty, we're warning you in advance.

Lickety Split 2-year subscription! Yes! Of course! Click on this link if this tickles your fancy.

Worn Fashion Journal 2-year subscription! Our buds and well-dressed comrades! Buy it up here.

Ojingogo (a graphic novel) by Matt Forsythe. Find out more and buy it here.

There are tons of goodies at Atelier Woodenapples in Montreal's Mile End. Go there and check out the handpicked and handcrafted goods as soon as you can!

Phonopolis is a record shop you should visit in the same area of town and carries many a fine album that you can't find in one of the big box music stores. For example, they have the latest PARLOVR record, which will both break your heart and mend it in the space of a few songs.

Get It Ripe by Jae Steele is a wicked and delicious sounding vegetarian cookbook by the former (?) Ripe zine-maker, and can be found in NDG at the Coop la Maison Verte.

Nightwood is my band, we have an E.P. for sale, you can pick it up here.

Fixture Records music is precious, poppy and minimal all at once. Hear here!

The Crumpet Closet has a bunch of sweet shoes, accessories and soon they will also feature clothes! Check it.

You should also head to the Cheap Thrills record store as soon as you can.

Drop by the Concordia Coop Bookstore stat.

Anyhow, this ain't exhaustive so we may post more ideas real soon.

Thursday, December 11, 2008

Job Posting, non-Lickety related

Job posting extended deadline: Advisor-LGBTTQ, and Advisor-Anti-Racism and Cultural Diversity:
Deadline extended to January 15th at 5pm!

Play Party this weekend!

"We are a montreal based feminist collective of queer and trans identified folks. We feel that in a city dominated by straight swinger clubs and gay male only sex spaces, there is a need for women and queer/trans friendly spaces to express our sexualities. We are a sex and kink positive collective that is committed to anti-oppression and harm reduction based politics. And, ultimately, we are committed to getting you off!"

Read more about it on the Contre La Mur/Against the Wall blog. Location, date, time and code of conduct are there for your persual.

The Worldwide Decriminalisation of Homosexuality

Read about it here. Thanks to Tessa for blogging this!

Friday, December 05, 2008

Did anyone lose their scarf at the launch?

Cuz we found one. This is it, e-mail us if you want it back: aATlicketysplitzineDOTcom

Parlovr + Hollerado show tonight (+ that guy from DFA1979)

So yeah, two bands who've supported Lickety Split this past year are playing a show together at the new Casa/Blue Skies venue Il Motore. Both of these bands have three things in common: uncommonly nice guys, a huge young lady following and good music. So check 'em out and let us know what you think of the new venue! Montreal definitely needs more. Please someone open up more in the MTL SW, though. That would rule. Message sent out from Parlovr is below:

TONIGHT! @ Il Motore - Sebastian Grainger + Parlovr + Hollerado

Today at 11:11am
So, we're playing a last minute show tonight (Friday December 5) at a new venue here in Montréal called Il Motore.

It's with Sebastian Grainger & The Mountain, who is one of the guys from Death from Above 1979... and apparently a 'mountain.'

Montréal's Hollerado will also be joining us in this cock-rocking revelry. Or whatever.

The address is 179 Jean Talon West, which is between Parc and De Castelnau stations on the blue line.

C U L8er.

,Alex, Louis and Jeremy

Thursday, December 04, 2008

Weekly Video -- Window Licker

What to say about this video by Aphex Twin? What to say...

Ummm...... yeah.

Once again, thanks Mike!

H&H Holiday On-Line Feel-Good Fest!

Do you believe in Santa? No?
Well, how about food security?
Wanna help out but have no time to contribute?
Let us be your community worker elves!

We invite you to lend us support by donating to our holiday baskets and emergency food pantry!!! The holiday season is fast approaching and many low-income youth and families in our community will be struggling to make ends meet. At Head & Hands we alleviate some of the pressure during this difficult time by providing holiday baskets to those in need.

Your donation contributes to this unique and time-sensitive food-security service, one which positively affects many of the most marginalized members of our community. Your donation also helps to stock our emergency food pantry which is an indispensable service within our holistic approach. We know that food security is an essential and basic ingredient in fostering the kind of community we want to see. We also know that often folks fly under the radar of other food security resources. For example, a youth who comes to Head & Hands for our medical clinic, or is met in the metro by one of our street workers, can leave Head & Hands with a bag of food where they wouldn’t necessarily seek out the food bank.

So, yeah! Here’s how you can help:

Donate on-line and write a note indicating that you’d like your gift to be directed towards this essential service:

Or send in your gift by mail:
Head & Hands
P.O. Box 206, Station N.D.G.
Montreal, Quebec H4A 3P5

Or drop it off in person! Please visit us during our opening hours:
5833 Sherbrooke Street West, corner of Melrose in NDG.
Mon-Thurs 10-9:30pm
Friday 10-5pm

We're also interested in new and gently used toys to place under our holiday tree for very young guests as well as non-perishable food items.

Also, forward this to your friends! Or set-up a food drop off box at your workplace. You know. Get creative!

Join the H&H On-Line Feel-Good Fest facebook event.

About Head & Hands:
Head & Hands envisions a society where all youth are participants and are inspired by the endless possibilities available to them. Our mission is to work with youth to promote their physical and mental well being. Our approach is preventative, non-judgmental, and holistic with a fundamental commitment to providing an environment that welcomes youth without discrimination. We facilitate social change and the empowerment of youth based on their current needs within our community and society at large.


Puces POP Breakfast for Dinner! (Craft Fair & Bingo Party!)

Come find Lickety at one of the coolest craft fairs in town and get some of your holiday shopping done! Check it, the good word from Puces Pop (of Pop Montreal):

Our first ever winter fair just in time for the holidays!
We're gathering 50 of our best vendors to sell their wares. Come and see the best of Montreal's handmade, and make a dent in your holiday shopping!

When: December 6th, 2008 - 11h - 18h
Where: St. Michel Church (Corner of St. Urbain & St. Viateur)

Followed by BREAKFAST FOR DINNER BINGO PARTY in the evening starting at 8 pm!

Breakfast will be served - come play bingo and eat pancakes! Even wear your pj's to the game!

Wednesday, December 03, 2008

Audio Smut Super Sexy Radio Show!

Wednesday, December 3, 2008,
6:00pm - 7:00pm,
90,3 fm or


An Interview with Mathilda Bernstein Sycamore.

An exclusive long lost documentary of sexual shame.

Pleasures: The Case of the Missing Vibrator!


Tuesday, December 02, 2008

The Crumpet Closet: Foot Fetish!

If you need some hott footwear for when you're prancing about in the nude, visit The Crumpet Closet for some sweet steals. Yes, we know the lady behind the closet door, and yes, she's amazing.

Magazine for and by girls seeks art director!

Authentik is an alternative magazine, written by girls for girls. Authentik Magazine’s vision is to encourage girls leadership skills, empowerment and self-expression. After producing two issues in French, we are currently preparing the first English issue. With an expected distribution of 10 000 copies, Authentik Magazine is a province-wide project. The project is just starting but we have great plans and prospects for the future.

We are looking for an enthusiastic young designer looking to gain invaluable experience as an Art Director. Due to the nature of this project there is no certainty about whether this will be a paid or an unpaid position, though charity tax receipts can be provided. The Art Director/Graphic Designer will collaborate with our small editorial team to ensure a dynamic professional magazine. More information and past issues may be found at

Main activities:
-Ensure a professional
yet girl style
-Interpret theme and
articles to help us choose appropriate visuals, concepts, headlines etc
-Responsible for page
-Responsible for designing
promotional documents

Type of designer we
are looking for:
-Interested in the
process of making an alternative girls magazines
-Self-directed team
-Graphic Design
- Experience working
on a magazine (fantastic!)
-Be available until spring

If you are interested in working on an exciting starting project please don’t hesitate to contact us
for further information and a chit-chat.

Please send a brief introduction and examples of your work to:

Thursday, November 27, 2008

Weekly Video - Bjork owns the top 10

Amber kinda stole my thunder with the weekly video, but here's my fav' from the list.

It's also a deadly accurate recreation of the dirty deeds that went down in the Beyond Human launch photo booth.

For realz. It was wild in there.

Top 10 Pop Songs about Girls Jilling Off!

For example:

Tori Amos - "Icicle"

"And when my hand touches myself,
I can finally rest my head.
And when they take from his body,
I think I'll take from mine instead,
Getting off, getting off while they're all downstairs."
Check out the list here.
Thanks Tessa!

We're at Expozine this weekend!

Come say hi to the Lickety voolunteers and pick up a copy of the latest and greatest!


Expozine, Montreal’s annual small press, comic and zine fair, will take place on Saturday, November 29 and Sunday, November 30, 2008, from 12 p.m. to 6 p.m. at 5035 St-Dominique (Église Saint-Enfant Jésus, between St-Joseph and Laurier, near Laurier Métro). Free admission.

Shannon Gerard in MTL this Friday: Thank-you C.O.C.!

C.O.C.: The Church of Craft!
Shannon Gerard: past Lickety Split contributor and an amazing book and comic artist! This is sooo cool, wish I was in town to check this workshop out. Go and tell us all about it after, OK? Shannon will also be at Expozine this weekend.

Wednesday, November 26, 2008

Know Your Status!

Head and Hands is hosting one more free anonymous HIV testing nights as part of their World AIDS Day campaign. These clinics will be taking place Monday, Dec. 1st from 1-5pm. Like their medical clinics, the testing nights are confidential, do not require medicare, and for youth 12-25.

5833 Sherbrooke West, Montréal

Metro Vendôme, Bus 105


Check out this feminist job opportunity!

Communication coordinator

Girls Action Foundation-Fondation filles d’action is a national charitable organization that inspires and supports the empowerment, leadership and healthy development of girls and young women across Canada. We provide leadership and violence prevention programs for girls in partnership with schools and community organizations. We also facilitate and provide resources and training to a national network consisting of organizations and individuals doing work with girls and young women. To further advance our mandate, we also collaborate with academics, policy makers, youth organizations and others whose work supports girls.

Position summary: Under the authority of the Executive Director the communication coordinator provide assistance to and report to the Director of Communications in the coordination and implementation of Girls Action Foundation’s communication strategy. The successful candidate will plan, coordinate and implement various external and internal communication initiatives including: preparation and editing of press releases, content development, writing and editing for web-based initiatives, Newsletters, and strategic communication pieces for members, stakeholders and other key audiences. In addition the position will support the overall knowledge transfer element of our communication strategy, and develop and implement a proactive media communication strategy.

The successful candidate will have excellent inter-personal skills, proven experience in writing and editing press releases, editorials, presentations, news articles, and web writing, as well as be familiar with major issues facing girls and young women in Canadian society today.


  • University degree or college diploma in communications, public relations or a related discipline.
  • 3-5 years experience in communications, public relations, government relations, or related field
  • Fluency in French and English (written and oral)
  • Knowledge of Canadian and Quebec media
  • Superior writing, editing and oral communication skills in English
  • Demonstrated success in the development and implementation of proactive communication initiatives including media relations; event planning and coordination; the creation of marketing tools and online communications.
  • Experience initiating and managing on-line communications including web content management, promotion and e-communications/campaigning strategies
  • Ability to manage concurrent projects with competing deadlines
  • Strong planning and organizational skills with excellent attention to detail
  • Ability to work independently, as part of a team
  • Knowledge of Web site software is an asset
  • Experience in a feminist organization is an asset.

How to apply

Please send resume, cover letter, two relevant samples of your writing, salary expectations and at least two references by December 8 2008 to:

(Electronic submissions are encouraged)

Applications can also be faxed to: 514-948-5926

Or mailed to:

Girls Action Foundation – Fondation filles d’action

24 Mont Royal Ouest, Suite 601

Montreal, Quebec H2T 2S2

We thank everyone for applying but only those selected for an interview will be contacted.

Feminist Responses to the Bouchard-Taylor Commission



The symposium brings together scholars and representatives of immigrant and women’s groups in Quebec in order to examine, from a variety of feminist perspectives, the issues that led to the debate around “reasonable accommodation” and the effects of the Bouchard-Taylor Commission.

Le symposium se propose non seulement de réexaminer les travaux et le rapport de la commission, mais aussi de susciter une discussion critique quant à la place à réserver aux prises de position féministes dans le débat sur les accommodements raisonnables.

Alia Al-Saji, McGill University
Nancy Burrows, Fédération des femmes du Québec
Emilie Connolly and Robyn Maynard, Accommodate This! (awesome!!!)
Samaa Elibyari, Canadian Council of Muslim Women
Louise Langevin, Université Laval
Gada Mahrouse, Concordia University
Tess Tesalona, Immigrant Workers Center
Daniel Weinstock, Université de Montréal

Date: Friday, November 28th, 2008, 9 am to 5 pm, Leacock, Room 232
Please register: (514) 398-3911 or

Monday, November 24, 2008

Lickety Split #7 > Beyond human Issue now available on-line!

Purchase your copy on-line via or!!

Smut: The final frontier. A portal to virtual realities, a playground for fantastic characters, a narrative told in impossible destinies. At the border of human and other, which basic sexual elements turn you into a ticking A-bomb? This issue, Lickety Split asks you to slip out of that mortal husk and into something more… Existential? Divine? Synthetic? Beastly? Vegetal?? We’ll be waiting in the other room, mixing ourselves a cocktail and adjusting our tailfeathers and blowholes (hee).

The Beyond Human Issue includes work by Matt Forsythe, Sherwin Tjia, Farah Kahn, Nick Cabelli, Astria Suparak, Steven Lawrence, Omar Rahman, Darell Smith, Mark Harris, Kim Bastien & Laura Kingsley, Eric Hanson, Jonathan Stewart, Noam , Robby Reis, Max D., and more!

More colour pages than ever! Shimmery gold and pink covers! Richly saturated black and white images! Great writing! Naked people! FSC-approved printing process! Self-actualized smut!

>>>>VOTED #3 Maga(zine) in the Montreal Mirror Best Of Montreal 2008!<<<<<

“Since appearing in 2004, Lickety Split has been dedicated to tenting your pants, wetting your undies and pressing a nerve.” - Sacha Jackson, The Montreal Mirror

“It seems that every marginalized group wants its own version of pornography — punks, gays, lesbians, straight indie-rock chicks. But for those who want all of the above, there’s Lickety Split.” - Amber Drea, Venus Zine

Sunday, November 23, 2008

More photos!!

OK, this is still a sampling. Many photos of people are still only on Facebook - maybe even photos of YOU!

Lickey Split #7 launch photos are up!!!!!

...But for now you'll have to check em out on Facebook right here. Thanks to the lovely Abby for all her picture taking goodness! Pictured here are Abby and yours truly, Amber! More photos on the blog, Flickr, etc real soon. Especially Kathleen's costume. That was fucking out of this world!

Photos coming...but here's one from the last launch (July 4th 2008)

From Nightlife Magazine.

Saturday, November 22, 2008



Expozine, Montreal’s annual small press, comic and zine fair, will have its largest edition by far take place on Saturday, November 29 and Sunday, November 30, 2008, from 12 p.m. to 6 p.m. at 5035 St-Dominique (Église Saint-Enfant Jésus, between St-Joseph and Laurier, near Laurier Métro). Free admission.

This incredible event brings together more than 250 different creators of all kinds of printed matter – from books to zines to visual art and comics – in both English and French. In the past seven years, Expozine has grown to become Canada's largest small press fair, attracting thousands of visitors as well as exhibitors from as far afield as France, Belgium, British Colombia, Philadelphia, New York, Halifax, Toronto, Vermont, Ottawa, and Quebec City!

At Expozine, you can discover a multitude of publications that can be hard to find in the first place, much less altogether in the same room! It’s a rare opportunity to peruse the work of hundreds of young and emerging authors, publishers and artists, and to see what the winners of last year’s Expozine Alternative Press Awards are up to. Not to be missed!

For more information, please visit or email .

Expozine is made possible in part through the support of the Canada Council for the Arts.

Lickety Love-In & see you real soon!

Hey folks,

Yesss! Last night was an amazing success! Thanks for coming out and supporting our wee smut zine on a cold November evening. We'll be sending out e-mails regarding the Dirty Photo Booth this week. Also, photos from the evening will be posted on the Lickety blog as soon as we can recover from last night. If anyone has an photos from the night, please send them to!

IT AIN'T OVER, Y'ALL. Next weekend we'll be at Expozine in Montreal (grab the new issue if you couldn't make it to the party!) and also we'll be co-producing a Slowdance Night in Toronto. See you there!

Facebook event for the Slowdance Night Winter Formal (Toronto):

Facebook even page for Expozine (Montreal):

All the best,
Lickety Split smut zine xo

Friday, November 21, 2008

We're front page news!!

Ch-ch-check it OUT. (How à propos).
Thanks Deanne!!

Free stuff! Tonight!

Just wanted to let you know that the first 25 peeps who show up will receive Lickety Split gift bags!! Yess!

Thursday, November 20, 2008

Weekly Video - Sexx Laws!

Come to me, my bawdy little beasties, 'borgs, and beneficent beings.

I expect no less from you this time tomorrow evening than the carnal excesses displayed below. To the cat-house we will go!

So delightfully unwholesome.

Launch Party Antics #5: Meet NICK CABELLI

Yessss!! So this is the FIFTH in a series of band and launch collaborator introductions here on the blog. Please get to know these folks so that you may responsibly take part in some consensual party-ness on Nov. 21st.

Our DJ for the evening is one Nick Cabelli, who you may recognize from this blog or his own or from a certain local record shop or from the zine itself, or, or ,or...

Man of the "oddcasts". Check out the archive of "oddcasts" here.

Be sure to try on one of the boob robots at the launch party! Thanks Nick!

Wednesday, November 19, 2008

Lickety Split in The Link, Concordia University's student newspapersss

Ch-ch-check it out in the newsstands! Doesn't seem to be on-line yet, though the cover art of the current issue of The Link is. Yes.

Launch Party Antics #4: Meet the DEAD DOLL DANCERS!

Yessss!! So this is the FOURTH in a series of band and launch collaborator introductions here on the blog. Please get to know these folks so that you may responsibly take part in some consensual party-ness on Nov. 21st.

About the Dead Doll Dancers:
"The Dead Doll Dancers has been told by LicketySplit -the artful smutzine as being Montreal's raunchiest troupe of dancing girls.The term 'boundary pushing burlesque' has been thrust upon us ..... However the Mirror perhaps described us best as 'doing crack whore booty shaking'. yup...we are zombshells who simply like to shake it. We have performed at corporate events and other soirees requiring ambient zombie girl dancing."

Check out their MySpace page here.

Keep a look out for these ladies as they cavort around town! They'll be helping party goers into their masks as well as to become Dead Dollz for the evening. Yessss!

Beyond Human Morsels: An Ode to Sarah Connor

The Cyborg Has Failed
by Mark Harris

A friend once told me that she liked a man with a bit of dirt under his fingernails. This was as much about her distaste for the commodity of metrosexual as it was about her love for a gritty version/vision of masculinity. I think this is an inventive way of explaining one’s desire. I, too, like men with some dirt beneath their fingernails.

Of course, I also know that this particular strain of masculinity, like any other gender, is not predicated on biological sex. Nothing makes this more evident to me than Sarah Connor.

Yes, I mean the one and only Sarah Connor, the fictional character played by Linda Hamilton in the first two Terminator movies. But let us focus on Sarah Connor in Terminator 2: Judgment Day.

Sarah Connor is incredibly hot. We first see the renegade inmate doing chin-ups on makeshift gym equipment in a high-security psych ward. Muscles flexing, sweat dripping, skin greasy with hospital grime and hair unkempt, Connor turns to the camera and her captor with eyes piercing and cunning.

Connor is fucking tough. I get a strange sense of satisfaction when she knocks out the vile prison guard who, in a prior scene, had licked her face. Connor comes out of nowhere, treading silent, wielding a broomstick, enacting revenge in a brutal flash of wood, blood, and bone.

Connor is a visionary and a vigilante. After dreaming the end of the world while carving premonitions into a picnic bench with a hunting knife, she cuts across the desert in a speeding vehicle to assassinate Miles Dyson. Dyson is the inventor of Skynet, the computer that will eventually instigate a nuclear holocaust, Judgment Day. Carrying a high-powered rifle, Connor invokes a Valerie Solanas for the posthuman world; she must take aim at both man and machine. Moreover, while Solanas called for armies of women, Connor is a lone warrior. Not even the cyborg, the Terminator Cyberdyne Systems Model 101, can halt the impending catastrophe. Only Connor is fierce enough for that.

Connor repudiates the biblical sex roles foisted upon her body. Her womb is not just some vessel for John Connor, the Christ figure who will supposedly avert the end of the world. Instead, it is Sarah Connor who breaks free of the panoptic prison system, crawls through the muck and mire, survives the sharp metallic wrath of the T-1000, ruptures the Old Testament adages of Judgment Day, and changes the course of the future.

Connor is the anti-technology technology. The Terminators are beyond human; one is a meeting of machine and organic tissue, a true cyborg in the sense of the word, while the other is purely synthetic, liquid metal so advanced it emulates what it sees. Yet Connor destroys them both. Furthermore, she targets the very root of the problem. In an eruption of explosives, broken glass, and fire, Connor wipes out the faceless corporation that manufactures the deathmachines, and extinguishes its deathdrive forever. While it seems as though the T-1000 is always just a step behind, running to its frenetic theme song with arm-claws outstretched, it is in fact Connor who is always two steps ahead of machine, of corporation, and of man.
There is dirt beneath Sarah Connor’s fingernails.

Read more by Mark Harris in issue 7 of Lickety Split!

Tuesday, November 18, 2008

Launch Party Antics #3: Meet PARLOVR

Yessss!! So this is the THIRD in a series of band and launch collaborator introductions here on the blog. All three bands that are playing at the launch are interviewed in the upcoming issue by one Mr. Nick Cabelli, Lickety Lad- so watch out for that too! Please get to know these bands so that you may responsibly take part in some consensual party-ness on Nov. 21st.

Festooned Hand Mirror (Guitar, Vocals)
Tin Smoke Box (Keyboards, Guitar, Vocals)
Red Oak Frame (Drums)

Louis Jackson
Alex Cooper
Jeremy MacCuish

Some hype-y and totally worthy press quotes:
"This local trio of self-professed "sloppy" rockers carve out a kind of pop art brut, a beautiful mess of raw (but never ridiculous) emotion and rough (but never unintelligible) textures, with bold, tender melodies standing tall from end to end." - Lorraine Carpenter, Montreal Mirror

"Inspired by the best of 90s shoegazer and 80s angular post-punk, Parlovr have crafted a memorable debut of indie rock tunes that cherry-picks the best elements from multiple rock genres and synthesizes them into a package that sports clear pop sensibilities." - Jordan Bimm, NOW Magazine (Toronto)

Listen to 'em here.
Photo of PARLOVR at the Lickety Split #5 launch party:

Sunday, November 16, 2008

Launch Party Antics #2: Meet NIGHTWOOD

Yessss!! So this is the SECOND in a series of band and launch collaborator introductions here on the blog. All three bands that are playing at the launch are interviewed in the upcoming issue by one Mr. Nick Cabelli, Lickety Lad- so watch out for that too! Please get to know these bands so that you may responsibly take part in some consensual party-ness on Nov. 21st.

Nightwood are:
Erin Ross - guitar, vocals
Amber Goodwyn - guitar, vocals
Famous Eric - drums

“There are forests and darkness. In these places lie a bewilderment of pathless-ness and blindness, and soft ground cover that cushions footsteps. Within this, we are compelled to make our small sound, to salute nocturnal emissions and to dispel the un-navigable and create sonic opportunities, or, A Way Out.” - NW

Listen to Nightwood here.
Watch their music videos here.
PS: This is Amber (the publisher's) band. Also, Kathleen KR and Sarah B. star in The Bikeriders music video. Ch-ch-check them out.

Friday, November 14, 2008

Beyond Human Morsels: Ravished by a Phantom....

Dear Reader,

Before I recount to you the most uncommon and unarguably queer events that transpired some days ago, allow me to first impress upon you my utter sincerity. Some seven-and-twenty years into my life, I am not now nor have I ever been inclined to flights of fancy or superstitious credulity. As such, it is with the humblest transparency that I transcribe the account of my carnal struggle with none other than a creature from beyond the realms of the righteous and the living.

Read the full story!

Weekly Video -- Simply the Best...iality!

Come to me, come to me, wild and wired! Whoo-ee. That is one sexy back-up dancer Tina's got there.

It can't be wrong...

Thanks again, Mike! You perv.

Thursday, November 13, 2008

Progress Report #7: The zines have arrived!

They're in those white boxes. Our furry stockroom creatures will now ferret them out of their cardboard confines and purr smutty wishes all over them before we give 'em out at the zine launch on the 21st.

See you therrrrrre. (purr, purr. how sweetly Beyond Human)

Weekly Quote: The biggest wanker in the world.

Awww. Lickety Split really is gateway smut! Our dear and former web master, Sean P., recently completed the following interview with the biggest wanker in the world, published on Street Carnage.

Here's an excerpt from the interview :

"There’s the basics … Get your materials in order. Shelving is good. If you’re living in a nest of filth, you can’t find the shit you want to find, right? So if you like a lot of different stuff, it’s good to have categories. You can be like, “Okay. There’s the nun section, the latex, the hermaphrodites. There’s the spanking and then the lesbian.” Keep it organized."

Read the rest here.

Girl Gang Thank-You Card: An Interview

Lickety sat down with Jordan/Aida to discuss the Girl Gang thank-You Card show this Friday. Enjoy!

Ahhh, after a long day and a very grounding evening, Jordan has consulted with Aïda and yielded the following responses...

> What is up with the title of your show, GIRL GANG THANK-YOU CARD?

The Girl-Gang Thank-You Card title is, I must admit, a chiasm of two
distinct ideas and narratives which I found, when juxtaposed, captured
some of the meanings and meta-meanings of my current work. In
investigating British Columbia as a metaphoric post-colonial
dis/utopia, the narrative of a 1997 homicide immediately came to mind.
( The status of
BC as containing and suppressing its own beauties and systems of
violence (the recent sex-worker serial killer story being another) has
been an on-going source of fascination to me, even though I stand as
an East-Coast non-participatory viewer and receiver of mediatized
propaganda, myth, and anecdotes which feed our collective impression
of what ideas BC can be used to explore: a post-colonial sub-state, an
intriguing one amongst many which Aïda might consider more subtle
and/or familiar. The Thank-You Card is a reference to certain
anxieties around gratitude, entitlement, gifts, indebtedness, and
teleological thought. Also, the idea of members of a self-identified
"Girl-Gang" actually sending Thank-You cards to their "donors,"
"funders," or "victims" was so grotesquely funny I just couldn't
resist running with it! If expanded into a touring show, the title
may change to something like "Aïda auf Nootka, or Journey to the

> What elements of your show make the posting require an 18+ warning?

The end scene is meant to be a brutal, albeit surreal, reenactment of
extreme reproductive anxiety and bodily pain. I did not want to be
responsible for assisting very young people is processing or reacting
to it, and felt more comfortable with consenting adults' possible
misinterpretations than with those of "underage youth". There will
also be some overtly sexual pantomine. In another more supportive
context (and one without illicit alcohol sales at the venue), showing
this to minors would not necessarily present a problem for me.

> How does this work figure into the greater context of your oeuvre?

This question is delicious and flattering, as my oeuvre has been in
two parts. Classical performance (i.e. Western, published, text-based
theatre), and drag/performance art. This piece will function as my
attempt to reconcile (and explode/confound/shake off) these two
distinct streams of my own performative history. I will allow
dialogue, linear narrative (of sorts), and illusionism-- as in
classical theatre-- but will attempt to shed, at the same time, the
preposterous seriousness and hermetic anti-semiotics of contemporary
"Performance Art" at the same time. It will be a synthesis that will
not shy away from self-deprecation, humour, glory, and fear.

> Thanks for your time!

Bitte shein!

Wednesday, November 12, 2008


Deep Lez Film Craft: The Stuffed and Sticky Films of Freeshow Seymour
Programmed by Amy Lynn Kazymerchyk
Thursday November 13 | 7pm | GIV 4001 rue Berri #105
Co-presented by GIV and La Centrale

* Dialogue between Programmer Amy Lynn Kazymerchyk and Filmmakers Christina Zeidler and Allyson Mitchell to follow

Freeshow Seymour is the tag-team alias for the collaborative works of Toronto filmmakers Christina Zeidler and Allyson Mitchell, who have been sharing their love for film craft, thrift shopping, and maximalist approach to art making since 1994. Their collaboration is grounded in "Deep Lez", a posi-core practice of reclaiming diss'ed and discarded feminist root values in performance, writing, organizing, teaching, music, film, sculpture, and installation. Their politics are expressed through the reclamation of equally abandoned materials such as hard candy, plastic animal figurines, fun fur, cross stitching, macrame, and stuffed animals. This retrospective resembles your childhood dress-up box and teenage hope chest. Childhood trauma, puberty, fatphobia, queer fantasies, feminist epiphanies, breakups and breakdowns, are the tattered rags that Freeshow Seymour lovingly transform into dazzling celluloid quilts. Wrap yourself in the Deep Lez Love.


Lazer Vag Magic Performance Art Party
Thursday November 13 | Doors 9:30pm, Performances 10pm Sharp | $5 | 31 St.Viateur East (Diagonal to Cagibi)
Performances curated by Coral Short

Performances by: Freeshow Seymour, Coral Short, Lamathilde, The Inappropriate Hymns & Hers, Kate L, Photos: JJ Levine and Mariev Robitaille. Musique: DJ ZaZa Top and DJ V12

Brain Child
Allyson Mitchell
La Centrale | November 14- December 14 | Vernissage Friday November 14 7pm

Made with Deep Love: Artist Brunch and Craft Show and Tell
Sunday November 16 | 11-2pm
Cagibi | 5490 St. Laurent |

Made with Deep Love is an opportunity for artists, community activists, academics, and event organizers to connect with Freeshow Seymour, discuss the films of Deep Lez Film Craft, and share their own artwork, theoretical frameworks, and technical practices. Please bring a sample of your own art work for sharing. A Laptop for playing DVD's or music will be available.

Allyson mitchell is a maximalist artist working predominantly in sculpture, installation and film. Since 1997, Mitchell has been melding feminism and pop culture to play with contemporary ideas about sexuality, autobiography, and the body, largely through the use of reclaimed textile and abandoned craft.

Christina Zeidler is a film and video artist with over twenty titles in distribution that have shown internationally at festivals and on television. Zeidler's curatorial work includes: Come Up To My Room, the Gladstone Hotel's Alternative Design Event with Pamila Matharu from 2003-2007. Christina has been the Developer and President of The Gladstone Hotel since 2003, and focused on renovating and revitalizing the building through a community based approach.

Amy lynn Kazymerchyk is a filmmaker and independent curator. She is interested in the physical, tactile and collaborative aspects of experimental filmmaking; and loves film culture, throwing parties, and building community around art.

Upcoming -- GirlGang Thank-you Card

Check it out! Beyond performance art....

Tuesday, November 11, 2008

Launch Party Antics #1: Meet COULEES

Yessss!! So the first in a series of band introductions here on the blog. All three bands that are playing at the launch are interviewed in the upcoming issue by one Mr. Nick Cabelli, Lickety Lad- so watch out for that too! Please get to know these bands so that you may responsibly take part in some consensual party-ness on Nov. 21st.

Coulees are:

Emily(guitar, vocal)
Mitz(guitar, vocal)

"Coulees were originally formed in early spring, 2006, by Emily and Mitz in Lethbridge, Alberta, Canada. After several shows, they moved to Montreal, Quebec. Mitz met Conor at a show. Even though they didn't understand each others' accents, after a few fake smiles and noddings of misunderstanding, Conor and Mitz became friends and Conor was recruited as a Coulees' drummer."

This lovely trio rocks hard and lovely and we're glad to have them take part in our lovely launch.

Check out their myspace page!

Watch them rawk out at the Fixture Records showcase at Pop Montreal this past October!

Monday, November 10, 2008

Head & Hands > Job posting > Health Related!

This is an amazing and sex-positive youth org located in Montreal. Check out their latest job opportunity below!

A deux mains / Head & Hands, and NDG-based community organization, is looking for a Health Educator with a strong background in health promotion and youth work. Position involves coordinating staff, health counseling and information-sharing with youth, contributing to committee work and fundraising. Understanding of harm reduction and commitment to empowering, non judgmental, holistic approach is necessary, though training will also be provided in these areas. Bilingualism required. Nursing experience is an asset but all candidates with a combination of the skills above are welcome to apply. Position is 30-34 hrs/week, $15/hour (with benefits according to our salary policy). Must be available Tues/Thurs evenings and Tuesday afternoons. Position is permanent pending initial evaluation. Please forward your CV and cover letter to by Wednesday, Nov. 19th at 5pm (Health Educator hiring committee). Only candidates selected for an interview will be contacted. Members of traditionally disadvantaged groups are encouraged to apply.

A deux mains/ Head & Hands, un organisme communautaire situé à N-D-G est à la recherche d’une Éducatrice en santé ayant l’expérience de travail de proximité avec les jeunes, dans le domaine de la promotion de santé. Tâches : coordonner les cliniques et le personnel, services directs aux clients en matière de santé et du partage d’information; animation d’ateliers, travail collaborateur et en comité et à l’extérieure de l’organisme. Les compétences recherchées sont le bilinguisme, l’expérience avec ou l’intérêt à travailler avec les jeunes de 12 à 25 ans, forte connaissance du domaine de la santé des jeunes et l’approche de la réduction de méfaits. Le poste est de 30 à 34 heures/semaine, $15/heure (plus avantages sociaux selon notre politique salarial). Le poste est permanent suite à une évaluation initiale.
La candidate doit être disponible le mardi après midi ainsi que soit le mardi ou le jeudi soir. Une éducation d’infirmière est un atout mais toute candidate ayant une variété des compétences recherchées sont encouragées à postuler. Le salaire est à déterminer selon le comité de sélection et la discrétion du Conseil d’Administration. Envoyez votre CV avec lettre de motivation à avant 17h mercredi le 19 novembre, 2008 (attention : comité educatrice en santé). Seulement les candidates qui sont choisies pour une entrevue seront contactées.

Nous encourageons les candidatures de membres de groupes traditionnellement désavantagés.

Sunday, November 09, 2008

The next Slowdance Night is a TORONTO Winter Formal!

Worn Fashion Journal & Slowdance Night team-up
to bring you The Most Important Night of Your Life!

Featuring the Release of
Worn Fashion Journal issue 7!

Featuring All Slow Songs, All Night Long!

Featuring an Intimate

And there’s more to this Very Special Evening!
A Lending Library of Resident Dancers!
A Photobooth for the Fashion-Passionate!

Fancy dress, while not
required, is greatly desired.

$10 Formal Ticket
comes with the very
Latest Issue of Worn
Fashion Journal as well
as your Dancecard!

Saturday, November 29, 2008 at 9:00pm
Dovercourt House, 805 Dovercourt Road
(1 block n. of Bloor, 3 sts. west of Ossington)
Toronto! Ontario!

This is a queer & senior friendly event.

This is a co-production of Lickety Split smut zine,
Perpetual Emotion Machine Productions,
and Worn Fashion Journal.

Saturday, November 08, 2008

Weekly Video - What what?

Hypnotic, patriotic, low-digi-tech innuendo: Samwell gives you all this and more. In the butt.

This one goes out to Alexandra and her dreams.

Friday, November 07, 2008

If you missed Mattilda Bernstein Sycamore yesterday...

...the Concordia Co-op Bookstore has copies of So Many Ways to Sleep Badly left for you to pity-buy and console yourself with.

Audio Smut radio: SHAME

Yay! We're gonna start posting the monthly CKUT sex radio show Audio Smut here on this blog, so enjoy!!

The last episode's topic was SHAME! They also have an on-going soap opera/serial you need to tune into.

Listen up:

Audio Smut is a radio show about all things relating to sex from cultural, political, and educational standpoints. We are a feminist collective of sex positive activists who are committed to finding creative ways of challenging notions of decency. We’re here to shake things up, moan in your ears, and provoke your inner pervert. Listen in the first Wednesday of every month at six o clock and stay sexy.

Thursday, November 06, 2008

Weekly Quote: Look Pretty and Desirable AT ALL TIMES

Kate Beckinsale on home life:

"I don't like to walk around wearing no make-up with my hair rolled on top of my head on my days off. I think my husband would be a bit bummed out if I did. It's nice to feel like you're wooing the other person a bit, as once it degenerates into wearing yesterday's sweatpants and farting on the sofa, you lose a bit of the spice. You've got to keep up the seduction phase - it's fun."


I find myself reacting to this in three ways:

- OK, each to their own. No judgement passing here!
- Interesting! Prioritizing being kinky is kind neat!

But mostly:

- Fuck off! Fuck this perpetual "seduction phase"! Fuck having to be clean, cute and fuckable at all times!

Pictured above: Kate NOT FARTING on a couch.
Useful link: Feminism