Tuesday, September 30, 2008

Lickety Split at the Pop MTL Record Sale & Gear Swap

So, it don't make sense for a porn zine to peddle smut in a church (where Puces Pop is mainly being held) so we're gonna hang out with the cool kids over at the record sale and gear swap in the Sport Benefica (100 Bernard W.). It's open to the public from 11-7pm this Saturday and Sunday, as part of your Pop Montreal experience!! Also, in the spirit of nepotism, check out my (Amber Goodwyn's) artist talk as part of the Puces Pop "Show & Tell" series, more about all Pop MTL symposium events are listed here.

Our first date: Lesbian Kink Show

Stop everything. Find your radio. Practice turning it on and finding CKUT 90.3 fm on the dial. Figure out how to turn the volume all the way up. Phew now you're ready for our date on Wednesday October 1st on CKUT 90.3 fm. 6-7pm.

Here's what you can expect:

-Interviews with the people who make sex parties happen: Unholy Army and Against the Wall/Contre le mur

-Pleasures: a brand spanking new soap operetta featuring Fanny Paddlebottom and Sugar Muffin.

-An interview with GB Jones!

Need we say more? Until Wednesday my radio lover.

Stay sexy.


Thursday, September 25, 2008

Weekly Video -- The Bikeriders

Umm, here's a sexy video I found somewhere. It's in no way connected to the editors of Lickety Split or their side projects. No siree Barbara.

The Bikeriders - NIGHTWOOD from Nightwood on Vimeo.

By Nightwood and Mike Rollo.

Wednesday, September 24, 2008

Weekly Quote: Marianne Faithfull

“Ever since my days at the convent my secret heroes had been decadents, aesthetes, doomed Romantics, mad bohemians, and opium eaters… I was very fascinated by all this stuff. Forbidden books, forbidden pleasures… I had always fantasized about delicious depravities. Like a heroine in a gothic novel, I wanted to be seized by terrible and voluptuous emotions. I wanted to know why it was forbidden.” - Marianne Faithfull

More quotes about Marianne Faithfull found on the blog The Desertshore....

STEPHEN DAVIS: “Marianne thought Mick was narcissistic, manipulative, and as tight as two coats of paint. She radiated a blue-eyed innocence that belied her fierce intelligence and passionate appetites. Bob Dylan was said to be in love with her, like so may men drawn to her charismatic orbit, but his amorous advances had been rebuffed.”

Sunday, September 21, 2008

Beyond submitted (The Muppet Show)

The Beyond Human (Issue #7) deadline for ideas and work is upon us! We want to hear from you -- there's still time to pitch a submission tent in our pants!! Write us at k@licketysplitzine.com.

If you need a little last-minute inspiration, here's a highly fuckables list so in tune with our theme we should have come up with it ourselves: The Top 5 Hottest Muppets.

Personally, I gotta go for Animal. A guaranteed wild night. Your votes?

Friday, September 19, 2008

"Weasels Ripped My Flesh!" -- An epic pin-up

Ah, the torture porn of yesteryear. Behold the cover of Man's Life's 1956 summer issue.

First of all, I want a subscription to this insane magazine. Secondably... I'm intrigued by the issues men were faced with back then: ferocious water-weasels (obviously), tenacious water-sharks (less obvious), persuasively adulterous women and of course "sin-happy vacationists!"

Clearly this was a more primal era, where a man's sensible office job was his only bastion against the swarming hordes of sex-crazed hedonists and furious nature that made up his leisure time.

Fight those urges, man! Squeeze that weasel dry!

Designated Slow Dancers

Just in case you missed this four minute doc about SLOW DANCE NIGHT (a Lickety Split fundraiser and highlight of any social season). Next one is October 17th at La Sala Rossa in Montreal!

Thursday, September 18, 2008

Love Letter Open Mic Night this Sunday!

Free! Bring things to read to strangers who want to know
the depths the heart can go, the lengths the heart will stretch,
the turns that love can wrench, the size that love can inflate,
the warmth that love can create.

Or, read things that show how love is shitty sometimes.

All this at Le Cagibi. 5490 Boul. St-Laurent (corner St-Viateur)

Whether it's one you've given or gotten, written to an actual partner or imaginary one, whether it's an email or phone message, scrbbled on a napkin or on the skin, all heartfelt messages of love, affection and lust are welcome at Love Letter Night. Bring your letters, sealed with a kiss, and share them on stage!


Well, I think he's sexy.

Bob Log III. Creepy? Sexy? A fine line when one is wearing a daredevil suit, singing about "boobies", with a phone/mic attached to one's helmet, all paired with amazing guitar skills.

MTL: Walking tour of feminist art galleries

THURSDAY September 18th, 4pm sharp!
Walking Tour of Feminist Art Galleries in Montreal Beginning at the 2110 Centre for Gender Advocacy (2110 Mackay Street)
The 2110 Center for Gender advocacy invites you to join us on a tour of feminist art galleries and spaces in Montreal and engage in discussions with local artists and activists as we explore the importance of critical transformations of art spaces, institutions, and the mandates that guide them.

Whisper translation will be available. We will navigate the tour by bus/metro/walk/bike.

Organized as part of La Centrale's GENDER ALARM! exhibition programming.
GENDER ALARM! Nouveaux féminismes en art actuel is an event series organized by La Centrale Galerie Powerhouse in celebration of the launch of our new mandate. GENDER ALARM! will feature a group exhibition and performance night, a film and video screening, as well as a round-table panel discussion. GENDER ALARM! will focus on the role of emerging feminist discourses within contemporary art and will mark the beginning of La Centrale's 2008-2009 programming season featuring bold exhibitions and performances that specifically address the new mandate.

Since its inception in 1973, La Centrale has had a mandate of disseminating contemporary art of Québecois, Canadian and International women artists. This mandate aimed to address the under-representation of women within contemporary art institutions by creating a space that both fosters and supports their work, and makes it available to a larger public. Over the past four decades, feminism has evolved through different permutations and the history of La Centrale's activities reflect a continuous critical questioning of these transformations.

In 2007, a new mandate was adopted by La Centrale which no longer limits the center to a women-only space. La Centrale's revised mandate is informed by a definition of feminism which questions relationships of power in our society and concerns itself with a wider range of societal issues including the implications of gender regulations, regimes of sexuality, class, race and imperialism. As such, the center now aims to engage more effectively with discourses in postcolonial and third world feminisms as well as emerging fields such as trans-feminism and masculinity studies.

Growing out of the feminist art movement and founded in 1973, La Centrale Galerie Powerhouse is one of the oldest artist-run centers in Quebec. The center's mandate expands on a history of feminist art practices and engages a broader spectrum of underrepresented artists and their initiatives within established art institutions. The gallery aims to provide a platform for contemporary art informed by feminist and gender theory, as well as intercultural and transdisciplinary practices. This involves networking and developing professional exchanges at the local, national and international levels. We promote the work of artists at all stages of their careers to allow for intergenerational dialogue. The programming and events at the gallery are a reflection of our members and their interests and involvements.

For more information: email galerie@lacentrale.org, website: www.lacentrale.org
2110 Centre for Gender Advocacy
2110 Mackay (metro Guy-Concordia)
tel: 514-848-2424 ext. 7431

Lick it, Chomsky!

Because we were all dying to know what Noam Chomsky's opinion on pornography was...

I get that he was sort of cornered into talking about this, but I still gots 3 major problems with what he's saying and the distance he's saying it from:

1st degree of separation: He's completely ill-informed and out of touch with the mainstream porn industry and oblivious to the existence of independent porn. It obviously makes him squeamish, so he avoids it entirely. Your opinions are widely respected, Noam -- it's fuckin' irresponsible to spout off on something without doing your research. Way to be an activist.

2nd degree: He's pseudo-feministing through the whole interview, yet clearly hasn't checked in with any sort of academic work on women's relationship to porn since 1980. You're disrespecting the work of other academics by completely ignoring their perspectives. And who are these other academics? Mainly women and people who have actually worked in the porn industry. Way to be a feminist.

3rd degree: His bullshit analogies all over the place. They're cheap, intellectually lazy, and they diminish other important issues like child labor. Way to be a thinker.


Weekly Video -- David Bowie is a GILF

That's grandma to you, sir. I like the Boys Keep Swinging video for it's combination of edgy, sexy and goofy maneuvers. It's 1979, you're already getting heat (read: censored) for the line "when you're a boy, other boys'll check you out", why not dress up as your own backup singers and strut down the catwalk?

The last one... so stern and tweedy. Rrrrrow!

Tuesday, September 16, 2008

lickety split in yr ears

no. 8 side B
"the beyond human" oddcast


it's here!

or like CLICK to LISTEN

featuring: "the bloop" on loop (which is either a giant eel (like, skyscraper-sized eel) or alien submarine,) queen, vangelis, les momies de palerme, terry riley, mr. tim hecker.

extra special thanks to amber, for bringing the bloop into my life. now: we shall never part. the bloop and i.

meditate upon the bloop:
oh, how i am so small and warm. and knowable. i am a brief thing. unlike the bloop.

NB: deadline for submissions for the BEYOND HUMAN issue of l/s is totally on the 21st of THIS MONTH. (also on that night, i am DJing at casa)
also i need to meet some VOICE ACTORS and PUPPETEERS for something ssstrange. please get in contact w/ me at nick@licketysplitzine.com yes Yes YES


Save Bitch!

Check out this youtube vid! 
The publishing industry is HARD, suckas. If you read a publication you enjoy, especially independent initiatives, it's important to show your support by providing financial support in the ways that you can. To help save the inimitable BITCH Magazine, a "feminist response to pop culture", please do so here.


**NOTE: I would embed the video but we're experiencing some technical difficulties!

Friday, September 12, 2008

Weekly Video -- Up With Dead People

Lil' different this week. Switchin' things up. Here's the trailer for Bruce LaBruce's new zombie porn "Otto; or, Up with Dead People." Very gory, very queer, very beyond human.

Ew -- poor bunny!

I like this picture.

Thursday, September 11, 2008

D.I.Y Sex Toys workshop TODAY!

2110 Centre for Gender Advocacy presents:


An introduction to gender advocacy and organizing

THURSDAY September 11: DIY Sex Toys (2pm) Learn how to make your own sex toys with cheap and safe materials

**This event is wheelchair accessible and will take place in the 2110 Centre for Gender Advocacy lounge (2110 Mackay, Ground Floor).**

For more information: www.centre2110.org

2110 Centre for Gender Advocacy
2110 Mackay (metro Guy-Concordia)
tel: 514-848-2424 ext. 7431

Wednesday, September 10, 2008

So You Think You Can Marche?

Like your activism served up fun? Interested in participating in street dance (low-impact + awesome to watch)? Then get "marche-ing"! Check out the hilarious video above where Anna the street dance choreography trains a few dance leaders what to do the day of the walk/dance!

Head and Hands is putting together a sexy street dance team for Ca Marche, the Farha Foundation's annual walk for AIDS prevention and care, on September 21st, 2008. Starting at Place du Canada (Peel & Rene-Levesque), we'll be dancercizing all the way around downtown Montreal to raise awareness about how HIV/AIDS affects our community, and raise money for education programs like H&H's Sense Project that help prevent the spread.

Last year we raised over $5,000 for the Sense Project, Head and Hands' innovative, youth-led sex education project. This year, we need to raise $7,000 to get Sense into more French schools, translate our sexual health resources, and train more peer educators!

  • You can help out by joining our online fundraising team at http://my.e2rm.com/TeamPage.aspx?TSID=195885, throwing a Back-to-School Sex Ed party, hosting a benefit concert or movie night, and most importantly, joining us on Sept. 21st for the dance party/AIDS walk of the century!
  • Since 50% of surveyed grade 9 students think that there is a cure for AIDS, and half of all AIDS cases among women and children in Canada are found in Quebec, it's time to make sex education a priority! Help us spread the message that the fight against AIDS is NOT over!
  • Even if you can't join us for Ca Marche, you can still sponsor our team online by going to the above link. Remember, every donation is an expression of your commitment to youth-friendly, non-judgmental, comprehensive sex education in Quebec classrooms. You can give $5, $10, $20, or $50 - every contribution counts!!
  • If you do not have a credit card but would like to make a donation please drop by Head& Hands (5833 Sherbrooke Ouest). If you want to get involved with Ca Marche or if you have a fabulous fundraising idea, contact Nikki at funds@headandhands.ca or (514) 481-0277.
  • ALTERNATELY, you can sponsor me, Amber!, here is my page yo. Much appreciated!!


2110 Centre for Gender Advocacy presents:

An introduction to gender advocacy and organizing

WEDNESDAY September 10: Abortion Access Teach-in (6pm ) In response to
bill-C-484 and the attack on abortion rights, the 2110 will be holding a teach in on the history of abortion rights, the state of access to abortion in Canada and the current attack on reproductive rights and bodily sovereignty. Come learn about the history of the struggle for autonomy and access, and discuss how we might continue it today.


Wine and Cheese (8pm)

**Both events are wheelchair accessible and will take place in the 2110 Centre for Gender Advocacy lounge (2110 Mackay, Ground Floor).**

For more information: www.centre2110.org
2110 Centre for Gender Advocacy
2110 Mackay (metro Guy-Concordia)
tel: 514-848-2424 ext. 7431

Monday, September 08, 2008

Weekly Video -- La Tortura

Yo I'm late like your period with last week's video, so to make up for it here's Shakira covered in a dark, sticky liquid of a different sort. Enjoy!

Friday, September 05, 2008

Pornography for Women? Really?

This little doozy by the Cambridge Women's Pornography Collective recently appeared in my inbox...
"I like to get to these things before I have to be asked."

"Hold that thought a second, I want to pull over to ask for directions."

"Don't want anyone "falling in" in the middle of the night."

"The NFL playoffs are today. I bet we'll have no trouble parking at the crafts fair."

"As long as I have legs to walk on, you'll never have to take out the garbage."

"Is that the baby? I'll get her."

Perhaps something like this is far too easy to critique and I shouldn't be wasting valuable space, the likes of which could be taken up by much more titillating fare. Aside from the way the CWPC rely on essentialist notions of gender while trolling around heterosexuality and middle class consumerism as everyone's wet dream, it frustrates me that this so-called "pornography" desexualizes women even as it tries to present the things that "really get women hot." While I object to the portrayal of this sort of campaign as porn, it is telling that getting men to do domestic tasks like vacuuming and cooking is still a fantasy for some women.

However, in my humble opinion, the part of the feminist project dedicated to achieving equality with men is not only about sharing chores but also about creating the time and mental space for women to explore their sexuality outside of the pressures of traditional femininity. In this scenario, women can get hot over whatever the fuck they want, be it anything from paddling the babysitter with a wooden spoon to sucking their neighbour's big hard cock. And yes, ok, I do get a little happy feeling when my floors are freshly mopped but it's not like that compares to my partner sucking my clit.

Feminism is still as relevant as ever, and yes, everyone deserves to have partnerships based on sharing and repect, but please, let porn be porn. Don't invisiblize the desire of some women for hardcore images and things traditionally understood as only arousing for men. Part of feminist action is creating types of porn all kinds of women might or might not want to see. Conveying equality is sexy-- just maybe put a little more sex in the picture.

Wednesday, September 03, 2008

sex guide for good christians

during my shadow-puppet pornography research i came across a somewhat interesting site, sexinchrist.com outlining surprisingly liberated dogmatic sexual advice for good christians (i.e. no male queers, no butch lesbians, no overly submissive straight men, no chronic masturbaters or public ejaculators etc etc)

i do not condone or promote the use of religion. but if you're already hooked—or like me curious 'bout sexy, sexy brazillian nuns—then here is an abbreviated and annotated overview of sexinchrist's guide for good christian sex.

sexinchrist affirms the good christian's right to engage in anal sex on the argument (heard again and again) that it is satisfying carnal needs while avoiding unwanted pregnancy while MOST IMPORTANTLY (for good christians) still keeping oneself "pure" for marriage.

but don't take my word for it, here's the sexinchrist:
"...Nowhere does the bible forbid anal sex between a male and female... In fact, many Biblical passages allude to the act of anal sex between men and women: Lamentations 2:10 describes virginal maidens should position themselves to receive anal sex. Another suggestive scripture tells of a woman’s pride in her “valley” (referring to her buttocks and the cleft between them) and entices her lover to ejaculate against her backside... And in the Song of Songs, the lover urges his mate to allow him to enter her from behind."

sexinchrist LOVES oral sex because it reinforces the christian "value" of subservient women while allowing loversss to "[preserve] their chastity." sweet. ps: the bible encourages oral sex so long as you cum in her mouth (or, if you prefer, so long as the cum winds up in her mouth.) c'mon baby, it's super pious!

a christian threesome is MFF (FMF?), period. even a strickly monitored MFM threesome is too queer for christians to tolerate. though there might not be any "overt homosexual" contact between the two misters, the act of "being together in a sexual situation is nevertheless homoerotic and suggests implied homosexuality,"according to sexinchrist.com

interestingly (hypocritically?) enough, sexinchrist conjectures that "since the Bible makes little or no mention of women with regard to this subject, and because the Bible, for better or worse, often holds men and women to different standards regarding sex and sexual roles" that lesbianism and female bisexuality are A-ok. go figure.

a christian threesome is not adultery or otherwise sinful, because adultery is between men and married women, explains sexinchrist. to ensure that it is not adultery, there are some rules:
"(1) To avoid the impropriety of male homosexuality, a heterosexual couple should not under any circumstances form a threesome with another man.
(2) Both women involved in the threesome must be willing to keep within traditional female roles (i.e., not taking on masculine appearance or behavior in or out of the bedroom) and recognize the male as the leader in the relationship.
(3) If the wife’s lesbian sex partner is unmarried, it may be permissible for the husband to have relations with her only with his wife’s consent.
(4) If the wife’s lesbian sex partner is unmarried, but the wife does not wish her to have relations with the other woman, the husband should respect this.
(5) If the wife’s lesbian sex partner is married, her husband must not have objections to the relationship.
(6) If the wife’s lesbian sex partner is married, the husband should refrain from having any sexual relations with her, and should make every effort to control his fantasies about her. He should concentrate his attention on his own wife."

fisting is permitted for good christians because the bible has a hang-up on fists, hands and the power of god. therefore, fisting for good christians takes on metaphorical theologic properties, for—according to sexinchrist.com—as the man "inserts his hand into his wife’s vagina, [he] is symbolically re-enacting the moment of truth following Christ’s resurrection from the tomb, when Doubting Thomas touches the wounds in the Savior’s flesh."

fisting is a two-way street, kinda, and a woman indulging her playmate's "desire to receive light anal play ... and may even anally penetrate her partner with a strap-on dildo if he enjoys this, and if their respective roles as husband and wife are secure outside of the bedroom." sixinchrist reminds good christians that this should be undertaken only if the husband can "still maintain his role as the spiritual heard of the household and the leader in the marriage" after being submissive sexually to his wife.

1. "bondage and discipline are part of the spiritual tradition of Christianity"
2. "BDSM does not necessarily have to involve whips and chains, black leather, or dungeon gear, although if they find these props help them get in the mood, there is not reason why Christians should not use them. There's nothing sinful about these items. In fact, they are part of the Christian heritage."
3. finally, sexinchrist concludes that "A BDSM relationship between a dominant husband and submissive wife is actually the ideal of marriage... taken to its logical conclusion!"

nick cabelli HQ is wimptown.blogspot.com