Friday, October 31, 2008

Weekly Video - Happy Halloween!

From your new friend Nirodh, who educates in a queer-friendly-sex-positive-jaunty manner while providing costume inspiration!

"I am good natured and provide satisfaction" is my new motto.

Thursday, October 30, 2008

Weekly Quote: Cuz I owe you another one

"Lamothe succinctly sums up the goal of the party: "basically we wanted to put the sex back in homosexuality!""

Read more about Montreal's new sex party for women and trans folk here.

Lickety Split needs peeps!

From Jill!

Want to join the Lickety Split Team organizing Committee? Who wouldn't!

Lickety Split smut zine would like to invite you, Friends, Lovers, Brothers from perhaps a different mother, to join our organizing Committee! We are currently preparing the festivities for the Fall Launch, which will be happening on November 21st in Montreal at the lovely La Sala Rossa (4848 St. Laurent, near St. Joseph).

We need your sexy hands to busy themselves by helping make costumes...namely masques , goodie bags, signage and much more. If you don't have a moment to spare before the big event, we are also looking for some kids to help us put up decorations the afternoon of the launch and to help out the night of the event with tabling, wearing costumes & we will need a few helping bodies at the dirty photo booth.

There are also a whole bunch of other Lickety Split projects in the works that we would love help organizing....

Do let us know if this sounds like something you'd like to get involved with and we will send you the date of the committee met-up! Send us an e-mail:
Thank you!

Team Lickety Split XXX

no oddcast, no sellout

Q: Gee, Nick, whatever happened to the oddcasts?

A: I’ve had a sort of technological meltdown, at home... basically my roommate’s mac is no longer around, and it really hard to do ANYthing on a pc, never mind edit mp3s and upload large files to Lickety Split’s off-shore servers... I was using a lot of found sounds in the oddcasts of late, and those were all downloaded from various sources... wikipedia, strange plain html websites... its still a big place out there, full of great stuff... I don’t even have the internet at home. I’m stealing some from the neighbourhood... maybe the library around the corner. I feel like—wham!—I’m a technological refugee. I’ve grabbed my files and split, but the infrastructure is gone, it’s left behind and it’s only forward now.

Q: what? Technological refugee? That’s a little extreem...

A: That’s how it feels. I like it though. I’m close to a facebook suicide and i remember to call my friends more often, i use the phone a little more than i was. But seriously: the amount of time i spent on the computer has suddenly been dropped into my lap, and so i have the same urges and impulses and interests, all of which need COMPUTING, so to speak... but i don’t have the right tools to accomplish the things i used to do, and its liberating and scary too.

Q: How is it scary?

A: Well, the oddcasts, that’s a good example. It was a thing i enjoyed doing, and it served multiple purposes, it kept me plugged into things, it hyped l/s, it amused some people, perhaps... it was really fulfilling, to make a mess of things, to make a joke of content, to mock the guest-star. It wasn’t ironic, it was playful, really hilarious sometimes. To me, at least. I would say without a doubt i was the biggest fan of the oddcasts, which is how it should be.

So its a little scary when all of a sudden i’m unable to articulate this stuff, this tension i have with music... when the will and interest is still there but i can’t complete because of some fucking computer? What if the lights go out, what could i still enjoy in the dark?

Q: You sound a little mad.

A: I’m just surprised... disappointed, i guess, to have allowed myself to so heavily rely on the computer as the tool of expression, and communication. Not ‘a’ tool, THE tool. And not “the” computer, the APPLE. Now, without it, i’m like a cave-man, stumbling around, trying to steal internet signals and hoping they last. No photoshop, no qwark, no audacity... no oddcasts, no cover art... the pc is still great for wordprocessing and surfing but as a machine of magnifying creative imputs it’s lame, lame, lame.

Q: How is it liberating?
A: Well, its made me look for other ways of getting things done, less brand-specific or technologically exclusive. Like the shadow puppets, its just card-board and a digital camera, and $0.49 and BAM an hour later i have prints. I was passing around samples of shadowpuppet porn at my house and my good friend smash commented on how its been since he’s held a photograph... they’re kinda heavy, sticky, they smell like something. Its fun to re-connect with things.

Q: So how are you going to go on with the oddcasts? Or are you?

A: Yeah, i want to keep doing them. I have some unfinished mixes which i’ll use to get through the launch hype, and i bet i could even re-release some of the early ones which no one listened to.

Q: does that bother you, that you’re not heralded?

A: not really. I make them for myself, really, and i brand them so obtusely that i can see how people will have a hard time finding an access-point, a point of entry. Instead everything is weird and perhaps, meaningless to them and so CLICK, NEXT... this is the internet, buddy... there’s no room for slowpokes here. Either you grab someone’s attention or you don’t, and you’ve got a better chance to do that if they’re sympathetic to you, if they want to be like you or think you want to be like them, that’s even better. but the oddcast is so purely ME, so about me that i can’t make that extention, that plea of similarity and familiarness or even friendliness... the oddcast is very alienating, very lonely, almost haunted... i couldn’t expect everyone to get into that. Even my close friends don’t listen to it.

Q: Um, isn’t it supposed to hype our fine smut zine? Is it at all related to smut?

A: no, i guess not. But it is a very personal project, and ambs has defended it as being “passionate, and that’s all that matters,” which is very kind of her. Really, i could have been making a 4/4 dance-mix every week and would that be Sexier, or Smutier? Well, maybe... people at night clubs like to fuck... i guess the oddcast is far more emotional than a dance mix, even when i did a dance mix, there was a big backstory about ODing at a nightclub and dying on the way to the hospital while dancing on the inside, dancing to death... all very melancholy and unspoken, sonically hinted at but not really crucial to enjoying the music. The oddcasts are like little sounds tracks—even maybe the incidental music and sometimes the dialogue—of little movies, generally silent films, i guess... dialogueless films... in that regard, they ape the cinematicaness of the zine, no neccesarily on purpose, but as a result of like-minds congregating. So they’re not smut, per se, but i don’t think for a second they’re out of place here. i don’t know where else i would be able to find something like this. I guess that’s why i made ‘em.

Q: so, are you going to continue?

A: oh, yes, yes of course. There is a little man inside of me who needs to make oddcasts. Getting over the technical challenges i’m presently facing is part of the fun, i guess. I need to find an old mixer board, i have a new set of tools... the first series of oddcasts were all done in the lab, except for three done live with no overdubs. Live is a different beast, and i’d like to get into that more. I took the show on the road to casa for a few nights with interesting results, and i think i have a recording of one of those. But really, i’d like to turn my library at home into a sound lab, where i have the cable TV signal and a phonograph player and a cassette deck and maybe the shortwave radio all plugged into a minidisk. And then we can listen to bill clinton speaking over suicide tracks and all be healed. Again.

Wednesday, October 29, 2008

Lickety Split smut zine launches #7 >> THE BEYOND HUMAN MASQUERADE

"A Weird XXX Masked Ball + Issue #7 Launch Party"

With the rock bands:

+ Many strange happenings care of the Dead Doll Dancers, many others and you!
Friday, Nov. 21st, 9pm
$10 includes a copy of issue #7
La Sala Rossa, 4848 St. Laurent

Masks and Beyond Human attire are not required but greatly desired!

Smut: The final frontier. A portal to virtual realities, a playground for fantastic characters, a narrative told in impossible destinies. At the border of human and other, which basic sexual elements turn you into a ticking A-bomb?

This issue, Lickety Split asks you to slip out of that mortal husk and into something more… Existential? Divine? Synthetic? Beastly? Vegetal?? We'll be waiting in the other room, mixing ourselves a cocktail and adjusting our tailfeathers and blowholes (hee).

+ ETC!

The Beyond Human Issue includes work by Matt Forsythe, Sherwin Tjia, Farah Kahn, Nick Cabelli, Astria Suparak, Steven Lawrence, Omar Rahman, Darell Smith, Mark Harris, Kim Bastien & Lauren Kingsley, Eric Hanson, Jonathan Stewart, Noam , Robby Reis, Max D., and more!

Monday, October 27, 2008

Donate to the BEYOND HUMAN Issue of Lickety Split! #7!

You can do it! If you have PayPal and believe in the bright and horny future of this paper project, please donate by sending a meaningful donation of any amount to the following e-mail address: . Issue #7 is being launched Nov. 21st. Stay tuned for more details.

Our zine launches, Slow Dance Night parties and subscription & zine sales all contribute to off-setting the cost of this big and beautiful zine, but we still struggle from issue to issue. So we just wanted to share a new way to support the zine! Yay! What're you waiting for?

Thanks in advance!

Weekly Quote: Metal Women

The current issue of Bitch Magazine is "The Loud Issue" and they have a lovely article by one Jenny Rose Ryan entitled "Horning In: The Case for Feminist Metal". Here is an interesting quote about one of my own heroines:

"With all the pressure to be strong, masculine and brutal, female metal musicians sometimes demonize feminism in the way other women who've bought into the binary do, too. Patti Smith, fans will recall, let fly in her early days with some real doozies about rock being the province of dudes ("Real rock and roll is a man's job. I want to see a man up there. I want to see a man's muscles, a man's veins. I don't want to see no chick's tit banging against a bass."). We may want women in Gossow's position to speak up for feminism, just as we want other strong, accomplished, confident women in music, politics, pop culture, and beyond to do. But, as with Smith, it doesn't necessarily stop women (or men) from admiring, respecting, and emulating her if she doesn't."

Sunday, October 26, 2008

Weekly Video -- The Minx from Montreal!


Cette semaine j'vous présente un p'tit trésor scandaleux des années 90s: Mitsou, la Lorettevillienne licencieuse, et son vidéo interdit "Dis Moi, Dis Moi". Attention, 'ya d'la nudité en masse -- 'pis des bodysuits!!

Oui madame.

Saturday, October 18, 2008

Weekly Video -- Bonus!!

I owe youse an extra one, so go ahead and put this on as you get prepare for a wholesome yet flirty evening.


Weekly Video -- Slow-dancing creatures nuzzle up

Mmm, slowdancing... Leads to great sex. Here's one of the highlight songs from last night. Check out PJ Harvey and Nick Cave steaming up each other's faces like weird little ugly-hot beasties.

Weekly Quote: Life is a Highway

Found this through GOOGLE, from someone's blog called Many Highways, regarding their trip to Montreal:

"Beyond a doubt, the most surprising experience of the trip occurred at La Sala Rossa, a Spanish social club on St. Laurent Boulevard. The club serves as a venue for rock concerts by night and Matt and I had checked their schedule in advance and listened to sound clips of several bands playing on Friday night. The bands were playing at the launch party of a local self-described "smut 'zine" called Lickety Split (this link is Not Safe For Work). We thought we were in for a concert but it ended up being much more. The show included some provocative dancing by a local dance group called the Dead Doll Dancers (another NSFW link) and the bathrooms were "gender neutral" meaning it was common to see members of both genders in the same bathroom. We had no idea that it was that type of concert but it ended up being pretty harmless. Oh, and the bands (The Hot Springs, On Bodies, Call me Poupee and Hollerado) were quite good."

I like almost offending people. Hope they come back to town for our next launch on November 21st!

Thursday, October 16, 2008

behind the scenes at "fukzoo"

i like to stay busy and keep an open mind, so K$ commissioned a "demonic shadow puppet" show from me about a month ago.

we were on the roof of my work, and i was delirious with a headcold. i had drank enough apple juice that it felt like i was sweating it out through my pores, each cigarette sent my head higher and higher into the weird. i proposed a series of ghetto-fabulous tit-window robot costumes for the launch (more on that later, perhaps) and immediately snapped-up the shadow puppet assignment.

i have always been attracted to shadows, though i'm not completely certain why. in grade school we used to play a game where shadows were "safe" and sunlight was "lava" (who didn't, really?) and still whenever i pass a big, blank wall i wish i had some silhouettes and a 100,000 candle-power floodlight. how long could i broadcast the silhouette of a dancing penguin, say, on the side of the prince arthur parking plaza before the fuzz showed up and shooed me away for disturbing the peace? disturbing? i'm FOSTERING peace, goddammit.


right-o. so the first draft of the shadow puppet pornography show was about time-traveling robots who journeyed to ancient greece to study earthling sexuality, while simultaneously present-day humans followed them back to the past in hopes of stealing their fantastic robot technology. it had some good lines of dialogue, but ultimately was so complicated and convoluted that it would be impossible to properly present it in under 15 minutes while remaining coherent.

in fact, i'm not sure it would be coherent if i had 45 minutes, for the junction btw/ sex and politics is so precarious and difficult to find that i could be workshopping it until january, months after showtime. you know what's sexy about the militarism of technology? Nuttin.

anyhow: the shadow puppet pornography now takes place on a robot prison planet called fukzoo, and follows the human "hank" through his adventures working for the horny, horny robots who run the planet.

like most of my three-dimensional projects, i work on this at my workplace after hours. all my arts supplies are here anyways, and there's a better soundsystem here than at home. also: no bed, no fridge, no tv... just plain ole WORK HARDER BOY!, which a slacker like me really needs to get the ball rollin'.

i spent a few weeks cutting out various silhouettes and doing "research" online, which basically meant watching videos of cambodian shadow puppets and seeking-out strange, technological porno flicks. i've probably watched more porno in the last three weeks than i have in my whole life up to this point, and it would seem that i haven't been missing much.

(one was called "evolution" and focused on a woman who was sentenced to be a sexslave because she was caught cohabiting with a man in a loveless, relationshipless future. but beyond fellating something that looked like borg and some virtual reality intercourse (e-intercourse? i love words) it was the same-old, even taking the time to have nude (but high-heeled) babes do lil stripshows on lil diases. zzzzzzzzz.)

are robots sexy? we'll find out.

so... i am seeking some collaborators to present this piece. renumeration tbd (i.e. no $$$, but maybe some sweet, sweet swag. plus, the awesome experience of making pornography LIVE in b&w.) yr name (or some hilarious and crude pseudonym) will appear in the eventual playbill, and, well, face it: you're a STAR, BABY. and we can't do it without you.

in the spirit of analogue supremacy, the images, dialogue and s/fx are all to be done LIVE, so we are looking for:
-voice actors
-foley artists

contact me at

Slowdance Night - Halloween Edition is this friday!

Just wanted to invite the y'all out to our early Halloween shindig!! ‘Specially since it’s a Lickety Split fundraiser and all. Every Slowdance Night is!

With a lending library of designated dancers for all you wallflowers, and a dancecard-booklet to set up dances in advance, Slowdance Night has all slow songs, all night long!

Sway, turn & twirl your way through a playlist gathering crooning slowdanceable tunes from the fifties’ to the present.

It’s high school with a happy ending, and it’s queer, senior and couple-friendly too!

As this is our Halloween edition, frightful and fantastic attire, while deeply desired, is not required. However, those who come in costume, whether Halloween-themed or otherwise, will get a free 1″ Slowdance Night pin!

Friday, October 17th, 2008
La Sala Rossa
4848 Boul. St-Laurent

Doors at 9:30.
Dance from 10 PM - 3 AM
$10 admission comes with dancecard!

A co-production of Lickety Split smut zine
& Perpetual Emotion Machine Productions

Find us online at!

PS. Just a note to patrons that Mange Ta Ville (”Eat Your City”), a television show on ARTV, will be filming at various times during the event. They are interested in doing a story about Slowdance Night, so this is just a note that you might appear briefly on television at some point. We hope that they will add to the ambiance of the evening, rather than detract from it. Thanks for your understanding.

Wednesday, October 15, 2008

Highly Fuckable?

These two young foxes were so pumped about getting nominated for the Highly Fuckables List that they collaged some photos to entice people to vote for them. It worked! Do you know anyone you wanna nominate? Yourself maybe? It's okay. Do it. We won't tell anyone.

So, once again, let's make a big list of names of those you desire/respect/admire so that they can be included in the next issue of Lickety Split smut zine (coming out Nov. 21st - save the date!)

So, these get PUBLISHED. So you gotta really want it, you know? Like you really gotta mean this naming of names, this big-upping of loves/friends/lovers. Once again, it's totally secret. So. Let's start! Send suggestions to "k AT licketysplitzine DOT com".

Monday, October 13, 2008

Lickety Split #7: Video Progress Report

So yeah. We're starting to lay the next issue out. This time-lapse video is of Martin, Kathleen and I (Amber) working out the page order with scotch tape and paper bits. We also rely heavily on Google Docs and all the usual layout programs! But this is this is the first step and it keeps us in touch with our cut-n-paste roots.

You still have time to send in your names for the HIGHLY FUCKABLES LIST as well as submit answers to the question "What is on your sexual bucket list?" Please e-mail answers to k AT licketysplitzine DOT com. Launch NOv. 21st at Sala Rossa, more soon.

Wednesday, October 08, 2008

Spread Magazine needs you!


Calling $pread fans: If you want to see us keep publishing, now is the time to step up and help! Most of our core staff have left in the past year, including three out of four editors (the last one is leaving in a few months), our art director, financial director, ad director, and new media director. A few very dedicated staffers are holding the magazine together but they desperately need help.

People are always telling us that $pread is important but now we need you to put your time where your mouth is and get on board so we can keep it going. We currently don’t have the resources to coordinate with long distance volunteers so we’re looking for people in the NYC area who can attend weekly Sunday meetings and dedicate at least ten hours a week to $pread (although you don’t need to be able to work during regular office hours).

Volunteers MUST be reliable, self-motivated, and willing to jump in at the deep end and pitch in with whatever needs to be done. We are specifically looking for people with design skills, but we need general volunteers too. We also ask that you make a commitment to $pread for at least a year. We know this is a lot to ask of unpaid staff but $pread has always relied on such dedicated volunteers. The original team who have kept $pread going over the past few years are thoroughly burned out and can’t do it anymore so we need an enthusiastic new team to take over.

So, if you live in New York and care about $pread, please put your life on hold and step up to help us get through the next year. Email if you can help.

We believe that all sex workers have a right to self-determination; to choose how we make a living and what we do with our bodies. We aim to build community and destigmatize sex work by providing a forum for the diverse voices of individuals working in the sex industry.

Tuesday, October 07, 2008

What's a magazine worth?


Our friend Serah, the editor of Worn Fashion Journal, e-mailed this article out to us earlier this year and I thought i'd share it on the bog to help expose the challenges magazines and zines face: What's a magazine worth? A little or a lot, depending on your perspective.

"This blog post is really important to the growth of Worn, and we as a publication are struggling with these issues constantly. Also an important issue not mentioned in this post is the impact of advertisers on content, especially in woman's magazines. As a fashion publication we are expected to bend to the demands of advertisers and be rewarded financially for it. Grants are virtually non-existent to us because of the stigma of our topic and we are one of the only publications in the country being funded over 90% by our readers."

Worn faces many of the same funding challenges that Lickety Split does, often based on the content of our mags: fashion and sex. Many institutions refuse to support art that address these issues.

Sock Puppet Party!

It's a Sock Puppet Party!

Basically, people come with sock puppets that they made, and the sock puppets are allowed to say the things that the people don't normally say. Essentially, it's an id on your arm.

And everyone, to come in, has to agree to this, that some sock puppet might say something outlandish to them. However, people will have their own sock puppets that can say something equally outlandish in response.

Later on in the evening, when peoples' sock puppets are good and drunk, there will be a sock puppet Speech Session, whereby people will bring their sock puppets up on stage to the microphone, and the sock puppets are allowed to sound off on whatever they want to talk about.

Le Cagibi (the backroom)
5490 Boul. St-Laurent
Sunday, October 12, 2008
9 PM onwards.
$3 at the door.

WARNING: No one will be allowed in unless accompanied by a sock puppet. A sock puppet is essential. Even if it's a simple one - like, a sports sock with two black-marker X's for eyes.

Additionally, if you have any spare socks that have no partner (due to laundry tragedies), please bring them so that sock-less participants can benefit.

By Perpetual Emotion Machine Productions

Monday, October 06, 2008

Want to join the Slow Dance Committee? Who wouldn't!

Perpetual Emotion Machines & Lickety Split smut zine would like to invite you, dear reader, to join our Slow Dance Committee! We are currently preparing the festivities for the Halloween Edition of Slow Dance Night, which will be happening on October 17th in Montreal at the lovely La Sala Rossa (4848 St. Laurent, near St. Joseph).

We need your idle hands to busy themselves by helping make dance cards and corsages. If you don't have a moment to spare before the big event, we are also looking for resident dancers who do us all the honour of deflowering the wallflowers of their dance floor virginity. We also would love some folks to help us put up decorations the afternoon of the Slow Dance. Glory, goodies and Slow Dance pins are yours to be had for joining us!

Do let us know if this sounds like something you'd like to get involved with and we will send you the date of the committee met-up! Send us an e-mail:

Thank you!

Slow Dance Night- Halloween Edition on Facebook
Slowdancers of the Worl Unite & Dance Slow - Facebook group
Slow Dance Night - on-line!

Saturday, October 04, 2008

Weekly Video -- She's so Skinny

This song by Lo-Rider (?) is totally forgettable and a tad grating, but the video! Oh, the video. How it panders to me... You really need to watch it through to the end to see just how graphic it gets.

So many puns, such shocking use of peaches.

Wednesday, October 01, 2008

Weekly Quote: Domesticity = Death!

K$ came across this quote by Julia Ward Howe, early suffragist and creator of Mother's Day. That's... um, interesting to say the least. Speaking about marriage and motherhood, she said:

"God only knows what I have suffered from this stupor -- it has been like blindness, like death, like exile from all things beautiful and good."