Monday, December 21, 2009

Check it out guys: Paps matter for trans men!

Monday, January 11, 2010
7:00pm - 9:00pm
Buddies In Bad Times Theatre (12 Alexander St., Toronto, ON)

Paps matter for trans men. This is a groundbreaking campaign, by and for trans men, which aims to get that message out. Come learn more, enjoy performances, meet, and mingle.

With performers including:
Felix Deak
Miss Fluffy Souffle & Fay Slift
Alec Butler

This event is FREE and wheelchair accessible. All are welcome!
Refreshments provided.

For more information:

A project of Sherbourne Health Centre
with support from Community One Foundation

Please note: the campaign website,, goes live on January 11, 2010.

Wednesday, December 16, 2009

Donate to Lickety Split! Make the Work Issue Work!

You heard those classy ladies!

Each issue of Lickety Split smut zine costs $3,000 to make!

In just two short months, Lickety Split has managed to raise $900 toward our next issue, but now WE NEED YOUR HELP to really bring home the bacon and make LS #8 happen!

How much dough do we need to raise?

Well, folks, we need to make $2,000 by March 1st in order to meet our scheduled launch date later that month.

What can you do for us?

How sweet of you to ask!

First of all y'all can keep being your awesome, sex positive, smut loving selves! We love you and want you to know it!

Next, you can keep coming out to our events! Lickety Split will be having two (yes, two!!!) dance parties/fundraisers in the month of January and we highly encourage you to cum and get down with us.

Finally, you can make a donation!

No matter how small, every single penny you give goes directly toward printing our next issue, and ensuring that sex positive pansexual smut is readily available to those who simply can't envision a world without it!

$5, $10, $20...well, you heard the lady with the martini!

Nothing you're able to give is too big or small.

Go to the link on the upper right hand corner of this very blog and help give the gift of sex positive pansexual smut to the masses!

From the bottom of our hungry hearts and heaving bosoms, thank you!!!!

Lickety Split smut zine

P.S. As additional thanks, everyone who donates will have the opportunity to have their name listed on the site and possibly our underwear!

Faggity Ass Friday: Sitcoms and Soap Operas!!!

Head and Hands & The Playhouse present…
Faggity Ass Friday

Come and warm yourself up with a good healthy dose of schmaltz and drama before the holigayz. Why? Because dahhhling, you're a pal and a confidant!

Dramarama Cabaret Show!
Judicious Jack
Juicy Ricardo
Eddi Licious
Pat McCrotch

DJs: Xavier T, Riotghost, Noisy Nora, Hipless Gal

Featuring: RPM (Roving Party Machine)

Vendredi, Decembre 18th
The Playhouse
5656 avenue du parc
Portes 10pm
10$ suggested donation, all money goes to support the sense project

FB Event

Joint Statement for December 17th-The 7th International Day to End Violence Against Sex Workers

Sex workers and allies mark 7th International Day to End Violence Against Sex Workers, call for an end to violence

On December 17th 2009, sex workers and their allies across Canada will mark the 7th International Day to End Violence Against Sex Workers. This day draws attention to acts of violence that continue to be committed against sex workers worldwide, and to the stigma and discrimination perpetuated by prohibitionist laws against sex work, which endanger our lives and work.

In light of the continuing violence faced by sex workers across the country, four groups that advocate for sex workers in Canada demand an end to criminalization and the removal of current laws around sex work that put sex workers lives in danger. “Sex workers are caught in a strange Catch-22 situation” said Chris Bruckert, President of POWER and Associate Professor at the University of Ottawa’s Department of Criminology, “While our work itself is legal, it is illegal for us to communicate about it beforehand, live off the avails of our work or run a private worksite.” Émilie Laliberté, spokesperson for Montreal’s sex worker group Stella adds, “These laws stigmatize us and force us to work in isolation, making us more vulnerable to violence.” “Sex work is not violent in and of itself,” adds Rene Ross, director of Stepping Stone in Halifax, “It is the policies that criminalize sex workers’ lives and our work that foster violence against us.”

The current legal regime around sex work in Canada has already been identified as ‘unacceptable’ by the House of Commons Subcommittee on Solicitation Laws. Jessica Yee, Board Member of Maggie’s: The Toronto’ Sex Worker’s Action Project and Executive Director of the Native Youth Sexual Health Network notes that “Even Parliament recognizes the laws aren’t working. Why then is the federal government still defending these laws in the current Charter challenge in Ontario? We insist that our government enact meaningful change to allow sex workers to work in a safe environment free of harassment and violence.”

“We also want to highlight the heightened risk of violence faced by Aboriginal sex workers,” added Yee. “This has been gruesomely apparent in the murders of sex workers in British Columbia and Alberta, and the lack of police response has been especially disturbing. The lack of culturally relevant services, in addition to the racialized stigma and shame faced by Aboriginal sex workers, increases our vulnerability to violence.”

Maggie’s, Stella, Stepping Stone and POWER demand that the federal government strike down the laws that criminalize sex workers and put us in danger. The criminalization of our work robs us of the right to security. Decriminalization of sex work gives workers more control and safety in our workplaces. This December 17th we remind the public that decriminalization saves lives.

Maggie's (Toronto) is an organization run for and by sex workers. Our mission is to assist sex workers in our efforts to live and work with safety and dignity. We are founded on the belief that in order to improve our circumstances, sex workers must control our own lives and destinies. Contact: Jessica Yee (416) 419-6937,

Stella (Montreal) is a community group run by and for sex workers. Stella’s objectives are to offer to support and information to sex workers so that we may live and work in safety and security and with dignity. Stella supports the total decriminalization of all forms of sex work. Contact: Émilie Laliberté, porte parole (514) 285-1599,

POWER (Prostitutes of Ottawa-Gatineau Work Educate & Resist) is a non-profit, voluntary organization run by and for sex workers. We envision a society in which sex workers are able to practice their professions free of legal and social discrimination, victimization, harassment and violence and in which sex work is valued as legitimate and fulfilling work making an important contribution to society. Contact: Chris Bruckert (819) 661-3785

Stepping Stone (Halifax) provides support to former and current sex workers and holds the philosophy that all individuals have the right to self determination. Stepping Stone believes that sex workers deserve the basic right to health and safety and are entitled to social and economic alternatives to sex work. Contact: Rene Ross, Director (902) 420-0103

Monday, November 23, 2009

Vintage Sexism, La La La

Ok, folks! It's time for another round of subvert the meaning, fuck all those assholes who think only men want hangers made of *very* shapely legs of flesh-coloured plastic *excalmation point,* OMG.

Seriously, though, I want 20 of these.

Also, on my holiday shopping list...

As remarked by Dodai on, "The erotica phone is the "ultimate conversation piece," get it? Put the hole close to your mouth to begin. Are you at all surprised that the price is $69.95?"

Well put, ladies. Well put.

If it Ain't Steamy, It ain't Sexy

Ok, folks, here it is: as promised, two more work related vids in honour of our upcoming issue. And, I must say, after a very limited amount of research, I am completely convinced of America's fetishization of blue collar work-particularly that of welders and steel factory workers.

Think what you will about this trend, according to the evidence, there's something downright naughty about people sweating and panting and working with their hands.

First up we have the iconic video for "Maniac," one of the main theme songs of everyone's favourite stripper with a heart of gold movie, Flashdance. Welder by day, sexy dancer by night, Alex Owen's lifelong dream is to become a professional dancer, and I'm pretty sure everyone else's lifelong wet dream is to get closer to those maniac thighs so prominently displayed in the video.

Next up, we have, of course, Madonna. Never one to let a ripply man waste away on the sidelines of life when he could be her lover/top/1920s, Metropolis-industrialization fantasy, she takes this video's sad, sexy steel worker and turns him into the Jesus Luz of the late 80s.

Saturday, November 21, 2009

Work It-The Lickety Blog Challenge!

In honour of Lickety Split's freshly released call for submissions--and in anticipation of receiving all of your naughtiest work related musings--over the next month and a half I'm going to be posting as many work related music videos as I possibly can.

It's gonna be tough folks. I'm probably gonna sweat and it might get a little grimy. My partner will complain that I need to stop watching youtube and take a shower but, deep down, I know the sweet sweet satisfaction of a job well done will keep me going. Wanna help a girl out? Holla any suggestions to!

To kick things off, let's recite the immortal words of Missy Elliot:

Girl, girl, get that cash
If it's 9 to 5 or shakin' yo ass
Ain't no shame, ladies do your thang
Just make sure you ahead of the game

Bonus: Ciara's Work, featuring Missy Elliot.

Gettin' down at the construction site, checkin' out the hot ladies in their hard hats, oh yeah.

Friday, November 20, 2009

Lickety Split #8-The Work Issue! Call for Submissions

Bust out your smutty toolbox and dust off those dirty, kinky boots, because We Want YOU! to submit to Lickety Split #8-The Work Issue!

Here at Lickety Split, we work hard, and we play even harder. Day and night, and 'round the clock, we get on our hands and knees through labour pains and stock market gains to deliver the best darn jobs we can.

Hey, baby, we know you work out, that you're working it out. We see you drilling those holes, grinding those axes and hitting the streets in your power suits. We hear you toiling away in your dungeons, hammering and nailing and sweating and serving. We know, you know, you're worth it when you're $elling your wares and jacking your price$$$.

Ca$h or plastic, for free or for a fee, let's get physical-we wanna see you work it!

Lickety Split urges you to submit your proposals for:
Kinky and crafty limited edition artist objects (e.g. trading cards, buttons, etc)

As well as our standing invitation for:
Models and photographers and guest layout artists
Essays, interviews & reviews
Short stories
Comics, drawings, and other sexy 2D art!

Submission Guidelines

Before you let loose with a huge torrent of porn and sex related ideas, please acquaint yourself with our photo guidelines and criteria.

Written work can be no shorter than 300 words but no more than 1500; please include a pitch and cover letter with your submission.

Models and photographers:
Please consult our full photo guidelines and technical requirements before you submit our idea! Photos must be 300dpi or higher and submitted in either a JPEG or TIFF format.

Please send submissions to

Deadline: March 1st, 2010

Lickety Split smut zine xxx: Photo Submission Guidelines and Criteria

Photo Policy

1. Lickety Split will not print photos of people under the age of eighteen for legal reasons.

2. All those who are to be photographed must consent to being photographed by signing the Lickety Split release form.

3. All photos taken by and for Lickety Split smut zine must have been taken in a collaborative fashion, with the model(s), photographer and editor agreeing to take part in the shoot, as well as agreeing on how the photos should be taken, where, and with whom. All parties must feel safe and happy with the process, those modeling especially. The photo shoots should be many things; liberating, cathartic, sexy. They should definitely not be unsafe or not fun for any of those involved.

4. All photo story ideas must be pitched to the editor before any photos are taken. There are two important reasons for this: first we need to make sure that the shoot jives with our issue thematic/policies/needs/style. Secondly, responsibility is key: we need to know how the photos are taken and by which totally consenting (nay, enthusiastic!) parties.

Photo Submission Guidelines

Please read all of the following regardless of your role in the photo story.

Before you pick up a camera or step in front of one, place one hand over your heart and the other on your crotch/cootch/cock and think on the words of one who may know:

“If you don’t like what you see out your window, the most subversive thing you can do is make your own vision. If criticizing sex is so important, then where are our role models? Who do you think is going to make erotic expression meaningful to you if not yourself?”

- Susie Bright, Full Exposure

Erase the division between model and photographer. Collaboration is sexy. Share the images that you like, engage in an idea exchange. You may find yourselves confronted by each other’s preconceptions of what is sexy and what is okay to photograph- be open and firm about your limits and expectations.

If you are a photographer

First off, get familiar with past issues of Lickety Split, as well as the photo policy. This should give you an idea of what we like and what we’d like to develop on. You can then submit a photo story idea and/or submit some of your other work so that we can get a feel for your style. We encourage “amateurs” and “professionals” alike to pick up a camera and make something sexy.

Definitely do not submit photos of someone who is underage (even if they are of yourself), was unknowingly photographed, or is feeling iffy. It doesn’t matter how beautiful or hot or whatever the photos are- they are not acceptable and are counter to the attitude of Lickety Split.

If you are modeling

Consider the ways in which taking pornographic photos is a sexual practice. Make it safe, whether physical sex is involved as well as that boundaries are super-important. Break it down, make it simple: how much flesh would you like to show, state what activities you will or will not do, and at what pace. Agree upon a space that makes you feel inspired as well as safe. Consider having a friend or your partner present in order to ensure your own comfort and safety. All this goes for photographers as well as models.

The shoot doesn’t end when the roll is finished. Talk about the shoot and what did and didn’t work. All the parties involved, especially by those who appear in the photos, as it is their image to be printed, should then review the photos. The selection, or selection process, should be based upon the agreement/understanding originally established between the parties. This respects the commitment of making the photos in the first place, as well as cements each person’s ownership of the images. Then all parties involved should party.

If you want to model or submit self-portraits

Yay for you! Sexy photos are as brave as they are hot. We encourage people of all sizes, shapes and colours to appear in Lickety Split. Lickety Split is a pansexual, inclusive magazine and endeavours to provide space for those wanting to represent their own truths and desires.

Get in contact with Lickety Split so that we can share ideas and organize a shoot. Do read the photo policy. You will have to sign a release form that proves your consent to have your photos taken and published.

Also: become your own subject; consider the wonders of self-portraiture. It’s like writing in your diary or dancing about in front of your mirror alone to sexy music.

On inspiration:

Play with yourself! Play with your friends! Cut out pictures you like from magazines, earmark photos on-line that give you tingles, try on your Halloween costume or your partner’s undies, get all bendy in front of a mirror, put on red, red lipstick, put on Peaches, spend an afternoon in only high heels or knee socks or your jock strap (especially kinky during the woolen Canadian winter). Get really into storytelling and plan out an elaborate narrative for your photos, like, The Great Clothing Heist of 1946 featuring The Elusive Panty Sniffer. Have fun!

Lurve Notes + Smut on the Dance Floor!

Dearest Lickety Loverrrs,

As you may have already heard, this is an exhilarating time for everyone's little-smut-zine-that-could! Lickety Split has been opening wide over the past few months to accommodate some new steady partners, as well as a couple of friends with benefits, and that's only the beginning of the sexy escapades to cum!

The love and sexy bum pats that Lickety Split receives from it's readers, fans and contributors is overwhelming, and we'd like to return that love by ensuring the zine will be around to dampen your undies and tent your pants for years to come!!!

What most people might be surprised to learn, is that up to this point, Lickety Split has been essentially non-profit. While we're certainly not in the smut zine racket to make the big bucks, as a publication that has been primarily self-published (read: credit cards) our sustainability is being threatened at the same time that our content and printing process has improved.

Under the inspired purvy-ness of Mz. Amber Goodwyn, Mz. Kathleen KR and their sticky handful of naughty volunteers, Montreal's premiere smut zine has grown from a black and white xerox affair with a small print run, to to a colourful and sexy slice with a 1000 copy print run and an international readership!

Not wanting to compromise the quality smut you've come to expect from Lickety Split, we're turning to you--our readership, fans and volunteers--to donate, help us fundraise and promote awareness about the precious but essential commodity that is sex positive expression and thought.

As we near the March release of Lickety Split #8: The Work Issue, we invite you to join us at our primary fundraising event, Smut on the Dance Floor! The Heavy Petting/Dirty Dancing edition! All proceeds from this event go directly toward printing the next issue.

Sarah Beall
Curator and Project Manager, Lickety Split smut zine

For information, or to make a donation, please email:

Wednesday, November 18, 2009

Holy Tornado Tongue, Batman!

Special thanks to The Green Nebbish for alerting me to this strange, slobbery video for Depeche Mode's, A Hole to Feed. What starts out as a creepy tribute to 90s rave fashion and glitter make-up, turns into a full on mustard lick-a-thon faster than you can say hold the onions.

P.S. That girl with the braces? Hot.

Beyonce's Kinks

Ok, everyone needs to watch this. There is so much in this video I think I could write a paper on it, but I think that might be excessive. This video is hot, so hot in fact that it was pretty much the only reason why I got up this morning. I have literally been skeet skeet-ing on my laptizzle for the last 24 hours. I suggest keeping a box of tissues near by...

Tuesday, November 17, 2009

Heavy Petting/Dirty Dancing Sneak Peek!

Last Sunday, after some marathon expozine tabling, the Lickety crew got together to eat, talk dirty, and make tails and ears for our upcoming Smut on the dance floor: Heavy Petting/Dirty Dancing edition. Luckily, Jacqsploitation was there to capture the moment.

Hot pink and black donkey ears, say what?!

I'm so excited for this event, I can barely contain it!

FB event

Ok, for some reason the full width of the video isn't completely workin' on the blog, so check out Jacqsplotation's awesome youtube page for the super shiny, high def, kick in the pants version and be prepared to develop a serious crush on the filmmaker.

Thursday, November 12, 2009


performance a 23h15:







Expozine 2009, This Weekend!!!!

A & K at Expozine promoting LS #4

Whoo hoo! The time is upon us, folks! Lickety Split lurves zine fairs and especially this one! Join the LS team and hundreds of other DIY publishers and artists for a rad weekend of awesomeness! Yay! So many exclamation points!!!!!!!!!!!

Also, not to be missed--special limited edition Lickety Split gift packages and a sneak peek at our new call for submissions due out next week. Give your smutty brain a jump start! Whoo hoo!

Oh, hey-remember when we won Best English zine at the Expozine Alternative Press Awards? Good times.

The deets:

Montreal’s annual small press, comic and zine fair, free admission.
OPENING PARTY: Friday, November 13, at Sky Blue Door, 5403B St. Laurent (side door), 7 – 11 p.m., free admission.

This incredible event brings together nearly 300 creators of all kinds of printed matter – from books of all kinds to zines to posters and graphic novels – in both English and French. In the past eight years, Expozine has become one of North America's largest small press fairs, attracting thousands of visitors as well as exhibitors from across Canada, the U.S. and Europe.

And for the first time, this year’s edition will feature a program of readings and discussions each afternoon.

Expozine is made possible in part thanks to the support of the Canada Council for the Arts and the Conseil des Arts de Montréal.

Friday, November 13, 2009 at 7:00pm-
Sunday, November 15, 2009 at 6:00pm (Fair Sat & Sun)
Église Saint-Enfant Jésus
5035 Saint-Dominique
Montreal, QC

Tuesday, November 10, 2009

A Pump Like Never Before

Um...just when I thought there couldn't be anything more ridiculous than the Kush, the infomercial gods are at it again with the shake weight.

Wouldn't you sell more if you just used the shake weight's real name? Aka, the handjobitron?

Jeezus. Just look at those three dudes' ripply, hairless chests and strained faces. I wonder what they could be thinking.

Actually, this really reminds me of old "gym workout" videos that used to be sold to gay men through the mail in the 1950s.

The Dead Doll Dancers Get on their Knees and Beg Prince Charles to Save Montreal's Red Light!

Nice work, grrrls!

Monday, November 09, 2009

Lickety Split smut zine Presents: Smut on the Dance Floor!!! Heavy Petting/ Dirty Dancing!!!

An animal themed dance party/fundraiser!!

Get in touch with your animal instincts and feel the heat as you bump, grind, scratch and sniff the night away in support of DIY publishing and sex positive smut!

This event will include such delights as:
Dirty Photo Booth
Kissing Booth
Peep Show
Drink Specials
Animal themed pinata filled with naughty contents and collectibles
Pin the tail on the real live donkey
Go-Go Dancing Animals (Say What!)

On the ones and twos we will have the musical stylings of
DJ Ghost Riot
and much more!

First 20 people will get animal ears and/or tails.
Also, it is never too late to volunteer so feel free to contact us if you are interested.

No Fursecution y'all!

Srsly though, go-go dancing animals. Need I say more?

Friday, November 20th
10 pm - 3 am
Woof Bar
1661, Sainte-Catherine E.
Montreal, QC H2L 2J5
$5-$10 sliding scale donation at the door
Cheap Booze!!
2 pints for $7!!!

FB Event:

Since 2004, Lickety Split has been curling the toes of the masses with smutty writing, art and photography--all aimed at encouraging fun and guilt-free sex positive expression and thought.

But, we certainly haven't done it alone.

Ever since the inception of the zine, Lickety Split has relied heavily on its spirited community of pansexual renegades to inspire us, fulfill our fantasies and keep the smutty party going all through the night!

Times they are a changin' and that's why we need your love like never before. Cum join our animal-themed party, shake your booty and give a little donation in celebration of the future of Lickety Split smut zine!

Wednesday, November 04, 2009



Masquerade Party!
Don’t forget, WEAR A MASK!

18+, ID required (we will be looking at the birthdate only, sex marker will be ignored completely).
Price: $10
The party runs from 9pm until 4am. No new guests allowed in after 3.

9:00pm - Doors open
9:00pm – Daddy boy/grrrl Erotic Age Play Workshop with PATRICK CALIFIA
10:30pm – Sexy Performances
MIDNIGHT - cruising, playing, spin the bottle, live porn screening, and dance party

BYOB Bring your own Booze, please exercise moderation.
Snacks will be for sale

Safer sex supplies (gloves, condoms, lube, alcohol pads) will be provided all night.

Active Listeners will be on site all night for people to talk to if they feel triggered/just need to chat.
Monitors will also be on site all night to ensure safe play is happening.

A note on accessibility: The venue is on the 4th floor of an industrial building. There is a step to get into the building that is approximately 5 inches tall. Once inside, there are roughly 50-75 steps with railings on both sides, but the railings are 3 feet apart from each other. Also, there is no elevator. There is a little bump about half an inch high between the bathroom and the main room, and the entrance to the stall is about 20-25 inches wide.

We are currently searching for an accessible venue for our play parties, and would appreciate any leads you might have. Please get in touch if you know of anything!

Girls' "Lust for Life" Video Hardcore XXX Version

You need to see this. It's apparently not even the most hardcore. Yes!

Chuck Me!

October was a pretty crazy month here at Lickety Split, and as we enter November, there's still no sign of slowing down. That being said, about halfway through the month, and a few too many glasses of red wine later-I came up with the concept of Converse porn. I'm sure it all started with Jon's and my favourite game of pretending to be turned on by inanimate objects (don't ask) but, in any case, I was insistent on getting a real close up shot of me licking his shoe.

Have I struck a goldmine? Who knows. At least I'll have a project to work on when Montreal's subzero temperatures hit and I have a wicked case of cabin fever.

Ah, things to look forward to, dear readers.

Wednesday, October 28, 2009

Changing Sexual Identities in the Wake of Iran’s Sexual Revolution

This presentation explores both the ways sexuality has been regulated in the Islamic Republic of Iran, as well as the responses to this regulation - which have resulted in the transformation of intimacy, citizenship and subjectivity. The presenter focuses on the changing conceptions of heterosexuality and homosexuality which move from a rejection of the hetero/homo binary to a new sexual identity constructed amongst the youth in Tehran and in the Iranian blogosphere which is translating into an ‘on-the ground’ social movement.

Pardis Mahdavi, PhD is currently a fellow at the Woodrow Wilson Center, on leave from her position as assistant professor of anthropology at Pomona College. Her first book “Passionate Uprisings” focused on the intersection between sexuality and politics in post-revolutionary Iran, while her current work looks at trafficking, labour and migration in the Persian Gulf.

This is being put on by Concordia's Sociology and Anthropology Student Union and should be really really interesting, so check it out!!!

Thursday, October 29th
Concordia University's Hall building RM#H-763

Faggity Ass Friday: Queer Zombies Attack!!!!!!

AAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!! <----- this is how excited/terrified I am.

Friday October 30th
The Playhouse
5656 Avenue du Parc

Bring your fierce. Wear your costume. Protect your brains.
Friday, October 30th 200910pm-3am
The Playhouse (5656 Avenue du Parc)
$10 suggested donation; all money goes to the Sense Project, Head & Hands’ holistic, queer-friendly sex education program

Dismembered DJs:
DJ witch tit, DJ fancypants

Spooky sounds:
On Bodies
Nicky Click

Deadly Drag:
Miss L'n'Q and her Drag Hoes

Haunted Hosting: Jessica Rabbit

Gay Zombies... Need I say more

For those of you who like a little teeth

Is this taking the recent vampire revival to a whole new level, or what? Ever thirsting (sorry) to exploit the latest craze, this fleshlight in a soda can (wtf) is purported to really get your blood pumpin'. Just whip it out and soon your Eric Northman fantasies will be that much more vivid-or so they promise:

Polish up your stake and drive it into this soft, vampire mouth for an orgasm that will wake the living dead. Packing the same punch as the original Fleshjacks but housed in a compact soda can and featuring the exclusive Vampire Fang inner canal texture not found on any other Fleshjack product.

"An orgasm that could wake the living dead" - Sounds like the Dead Dolls will be getting a lot more bookings in the months to come.

Complete with a smutty photo gallery of some lucky dude getting his ahem, "stake polished," as well as a sexy video (which, sadly, I could not embed), the Count Cockula website is a must see.

Promise me you'll check it out, if only so you can come back and explain to me the connection between "a cum shooting experience so terrifying" and a soda can. Again, wtf.

Sunday, October 25, 2009

Smut on the Dance Floor Pics!!

Mitra lookin' sleek 'n saucy

The first edition of Smut on the Dance Floor was a smashing success! Thanks so much to everyone who came out, volunteered and contributed their time. We couldn't have done it without you!! Stay tuned for news about our next event, which is sure to be even hotter and smuttier. What an effing good time. Srsly.

Lickety Split

DJ Mitz and Lickety founder & wonder woman, Amber

Everyone gettin' down on the sweaty dance floor

Lickety's fundraiser, Julie, doing double duty as DJ Muscleman

Me and art director, Lara, vamping it up!

Supr Fossl Powr killed the dance floor

So many smiles

An amazingly fun night!

Three cheers for DIY publishing, sex positive expression and all our wicked smutsters! Whoo hoo!

Cock Block Rock

"Abstinence rules! Playing is for fools!" from Michael Sweets 1994 self titled debut album.

Thursday, October 22, 2009

A bit of news and a gros merci!

Photos of Amber and Kathleen at Lickety Split #7 launch costume, of course! Kathleen is the teletubby and Amber is the shooting star!
Hey lovelies,

It's been a long time since we rock n' rolled, hasn't it? Well, it's time again for bulging pants and sticky panties! As you must have heard, Lickety Split smut zine is launching a new monthly dance party to offset printing costs for the next issue. Cum on out and party in support of the magazine you lust after! Check out the party details right here:

Also, just so's you know: Lickety Split smut zine has been taking time this year to freshen up and make some much-needed changes. Along with firming up our fundraising strategies, the Lickety team is transitioning by incorporating new collaborators (Sarah, Lara, Mitra and more!). You can contact Sarah directly at A couple of names you might recognize and some you will get to know better in the coming months! Some of us other Licketys (Amber and Kathleen) are moving on to heavy pet with some new projects, but we will still be out and about working in smaller ways to make Lickety Split the best indie porn mag it can be! We thought it would be nice to let you know that we've appreciated all the sweaty, turned pages over the years and that the new team is hotly pursuing the next issue of "guilt free and fun smut for everyone!" (2008 Expozine awards). Thanks for all the incredible support over the years, from the bottoms of our apple bottoms.

Stick around for more filthy fun and support Lickety Split!

Amber & Kathleen

Friday, October 16, 2009

Smutty Pride

Check out this rad poster for Smut on the Dance Floor, created by one amazing Katie Shamash!


I am so pumped!!

Thursday, October 15, 2009


UP YOURS! the monthly queer dance party is tomorrow night y'all!

This time around there will be three burlesque acts starting promptly at 11pm, so don't miss it.

It is also the first release party of the The Rimjobs, yeah that's right they are called The Rimjobs and they are going to adequately lube you up for the dance party after the performances.

DJs include:
The Salvation Army
Disco Geek

Also special appearance by RPM (Roving Party Machine)

Be there, it's going to be awesome!!!

Lickety Split Presents: Smut on the dance floor!!!

This is our first monthly dance party fundraiser. Excited? Because we are!

Come out to WOOF bar to support DIY publishing, and our sex positive community of writers, artists and performers.
Indulge your inner/outer exhibitionist/voyeur/dancer with the sexiest peeps to walk the block.

It will be a booty shaking, pelvic grinding, sweaty body touching, luscious lip kissing, naughty nipple showing good time.

The marvelous musical stylings of:
DJ Noisy Nora
DJ Muscle Man
DJ Mitz
DJ Horsecock
Supr Fossl Powr

Just wait, there's more!
Dirty Photo Booth
Peep Show
Kissing Booth

$5 Dollars at the door and all proceeds go to fund our next launch!

PS. If anyone is interested in volunteering let us know!
PSS. Tell all your friends too!


Friday, October 23
10 pm-3 am
WOOF Bar, 1661 Ste-Catherine, E.
Metro Papineau


Tuesday, October 13, 2009

A Very Seductive Scent

Yum! Sexy car-gasms in Paris. If YSL can promise me this, all the time, I may just buy myself a bottle.

Friday, October 09, 2009

Hardcore Pussy

Everyone needs a little love on a rainy Friday night.

Iran in My Heart

Have you checked out Marjane Satrapi's graphic novel Embroideries, yet? It's been out for a little while now and I finally devoured it in one sitting this past weekend. An intimate, humourous and intelligent portrait of a few Iranian women's views on sex, love and marriage, it is a must read.

Thursday, September 24, 2009

Alcohol: Women's Favourite Aphrodisiac?

An article in this week's BUST Newsletter, mulls over the "facts."

'Cause "women" is clearly a homogenous category and no one's ever seen Don Draper throw back a few before engaging in some car crashing infidelity.

Watch out ladies who've slept with more than 8 men-you're a slut.

Also, all women are heterosexual.

Thursday: Brought to You By the Orginal Gay Slash Fiction Couple


Thursday, September 17, 2009

2 Hot Transsexuals Finally Give some Answers!

"Has someone ever asked you a question that feels invasive? Has a complete stranger ever made assumptions about your life? Do people tell you that your name and pronouns puts a strain on their lives? Red and Charles answer some of these challenging questions!" - freshlycharles

So. Awesome.

Who's Hotter? The Undead Edition

Being home sick the last few days has given me time to ponder some of life's important questions. Unfortunately, the feverish brain isn't always the best judge of what qualifies as an "important question," and in this case, the brain-scrambling, gray matter liquifying, ideologically blindsiding subject I've been considering is--who's hotter, Spike or Angel?

So, stop for a second with those Bill Compton and Eric Northman debates and remember the ontological struggle you experienced when faced with a decision between Louis and Lestat. Then, remember how the whole Louis/Lestat question was disqualified due to the burned-in-your-memory portrayal of both of these characters by none other than the extremely unsexy Brad Pitt and Tom Cruise, respectively. Ok, no judgement here. It's cool to get hot over what gets you hot. Be proud, nuff said. But, seriously, if you do think either of those hunks of celluloid is the spiciest spice on your Mexican pizza, do you ever really tell anyone?

Ok, I digress. Clearly, my complete lack of the hots for B.P. and T.C., respectively, as well as my valiant call for respect for the original vamps of prime time, demonstrates the unwavering importance of the Spike vs. Angel query. There you have it. Rational. Relevant. Of the upmost importance in a world filled with viral vampire media marketing campaigns.

One's got a chip in his brain, the other's got a soul.

One has a cockney drawl, the other a terrible (and I mean, terrible) Irish accent.

Both have rollicking tempers and washboard abs.

Who will it be, people? I'll let you decide.

Tuesday, September 15, 2009

Get "Person"alized

'Cause you know ladies, nothing says personhood like having a fella give you a set of panties with his name on them.

Ok, maybe it is a tad sexy to be holding the name of your lover so close to your love bits, but just remember to subvert ideas of ownership people.

Thursday, September 03, 2009

A Little Too-Literal interpretation, Anyone?


I'm guessing whoever built this is either the most naive person ever, or living happily knowing they pulled one of the weirdest pranks of the 20th century.

Wednesday, September 02, 2009

Lickety Split smut zine Seeks Project Coordinator and Treasurer!!

Lickety Split smut zine is searching for a volunteer to become our new project coordinator and treasurer. We are looking for an extremely organized and motivated individual to manage the administrative and financial tasks related to the running of the zine. Previous experience in project management/administration is an asset, as are strong interpersonal and leadership skills. This is a non-hierarchical position expected to be performed while continually encouraging and maintaining collective and consensus based decision making.

Tasks and Responsibilities:

  • Organizing meetings of the Lickety Split team and taking minutes
  • Working with each department to set deadlines
  • Liaising with all departments re. workflow, deadlines, meetings
  • Facilitating the creation of annual budget as well as budgets for all departments
  • Managing bank account
  • Organizing and filing invoices and receipts in an orderly fashion to create a clear paper trail
  • Processing payment to vendors (printers, etc.)
  • Whenever necessary acting as an intermediary contact and administrator re. general inquiries
  • Keeping zine on track by staying on top of future plans and initiating action in respect to these

Though this is an unpaid gig, refreshments, space and time will be available as well as major kudos, high fives and freebies along the way. For those of you who are interested in beefing up your resume, or have talent to share, please send your CV and get in contact with Sarah at

The deadline to apply is September 30th, 5pm. Lickety Split is an equal opportunity "employer" and members of traditionally disadvantaged groups are encouraged to apply.

Lickety Split smut zine Seeks Advertising Guru!!

Lickety Split smut zine is searching for a self-motivated, organized and marketing-savvy volunteer to become our new advertising guru!

As a publication and community that prioritizes sex positive expression and thought, and considers compromising our politics a major turn-off, our ad person would work to approach like-minded businesses and organizations to sell ad space while continually upholding the Lickety Split mandate. With the additional duties of conducting ongoing research into potential advertisers as well as the creation and maintenance of our ad contact database, creativity is a must, as is the ability to work autonomously and in collaboration with the Lickety Split team. Previous experience is an asset, and while this is an unpaid gig, there is future potential for commission based on total sales. What’s more, we’re happy to be approached by students who are interested in this position as an internship/Co-op opportunity.

For those of you who are interested in beefing up your resume, or have talent to share, please send a cover letter and your CV to

The deadline to apply is September 30th, 5pm. Lickety Split is an equal opportunity "employer" and members of traditionally disadvantaged groups are encouraged to apply.

Lickety Split is a pansexual smut zine dedicated to encouraging sex-positive expression and thought. The zine promotes collaborative art making and encourages diverse contributions to climb into bed with one another, because one sexual expression just does not satisfy. Lickety Split wants to help make the masses cum with smutty photography and art, essays and stories in order to fulfill the whole human being and address the complexity of sex.

Lickety Split smut zine Seeks Fundraiser Fantastico!!

Lickety Split smut zine is searching for self-motivated, organized and outgoing volunteer to help us make our fundraising dreams come true!

We are looking for a creative individual who has a knack for drumming up a diverse array of fun and innovative fundraising strategies and events ⎯ be they silent auctions, rock shows, workshops, sponsorships, you name it. If you’ve got the ideas and the chutzpah to make them a reality, we want to hear about it!

As always, the ability to work autonomously and in collaboration with the Lickety Split team, volunteers, and especially our event planner, is a must — as is a keen sense of what makes people open their wallets and pull out their chequebooks. Now is an especially exciting time to be part of the Lickety Split team and, as the zine grows, we are looking for someone to help us expand our revenue streams to include sponsors, grants and promotion of membership and subscriptions. As fundraiser, your main responsibilities would include:

  • Planning and organizing fundraising events alone and with the Lickety Split team
  • Approaching and maintaining relationships with current and potential sponsors
  • The creation and maintenance of Lickety Split's sponsorship database
  • Ongoing research into applicable grants and similar revenue streams
  • Development of membership and promotion of subscriptions

Though this is currently an unpaid gig, refreshments, space and time will be available as well as major kudos, high fives and freebies along the way. Each issue of Lickety Split relies heavily on the revenue generated by fundraising and your contribution in this capacity is essential to our production!

For those of you who are interested in beefing up your resume, or have talent to share, please send a cover letter and your CV to Sarah at What’s more, we’re happy to be approached by students who are interested in this position as an internship/Co-op opportunity.

The deadline to apply is September 30th, 5pm. Lickety Split is an equal opportunity "employer" and members of traditionally disadvantaged groups are encouraged to apply.

Lickety Split is a pansexual smut zine dedicated to encouraging sex-positive expression and thought. The zine promotes collaborative art making and encourages diverse contributions to climb into bed with one another, because one sexual expression just does not satisfy. Lickety Split wants to help make the masses cum with smutty photography and art, essays and stories in order to fulfill the whole human being and address the complexity of sex.

Lickety Split smut zine seeks Distro and Sales Officer!!

Lickety Split smut zine is searching for an outgoing, organized and reliable volunteer to help bring us to the masses, over and over again! As our distro and sales officer, you will be responsible for assuring Lickety Split reaches our local and international audiences in a timely and professional manner, while continually keeping an eye out for new opportunities to promote the zine and its sex positive mandate. The ability to work autonomously and in collaboration with the Lickety Split team is a must and previous experience is an asset.

Primary Tasks and Responsibilities:

  • Liaise with consignment shops and wholesalers about sales and stock and check in with them periodically
  • Coordinate on-line sales (Etsy, Indyish) and update them in a timely fashion
  • Manage the subscription list
  • Organize and file invoices and receipts for mailing/distro expenses in an orderly fashion to create a clear paper trail
  • Manage mailings of stock in a timely fashion to consignment shops, wholesalers and on-line orders.
  • Coordinate volunteers to help with stocking consignment shops
  • Coordinate the distribution of one-sheets and promotional material to current and potential customers
  • Collaborate with LS on-line and PR team to promote new zines
  • Store and maintain stock in a responsible fashion

Note: this position, like other LS positions, has busy seasons and then less busy times (in between issues) as the demand for stock goes up and down.

Though this is currently an unpaid gig, refreshments, space and time will be available as well as major kudos, high fives and freebies along the way. People's knowledge of Lickety Split and its sex positive outlook is directly linked to the work of our distro and sales officer and this role is essential to fostering energy amongst the LS team, community and contributors!

For those of you who are interested in beefing up your resume, or have talent to share, please send a cover letter and your CV and get in contact with Sarah at What’s more, we’re happy to be approached by students who are interested in this position as an internship/Co-op opportunity.

The deadline to apply is September 30th, 5pm
. Lickety Split is an equal opportunity "employer" and members of traditionally disadvantaged groups are encouraged to apply.

Lickety Split is a pansexual smut zine dedicated to encouraging sex-positive expression and thought. The zine promotes collaborative art making and encourages diverse contributions to climb into bed with one another, because one sexual expression just does not satisfy. Lickety Split wants to help make the masses cum with smutty photography and art, essays and stories in order to fulfill the whole human being and address the complexity of sex.