Chance of a Lifetime, I Tells Ya!

"A Picture is Worth a Thousand Words."
Never have I felt more compelled to envy the lucky so and so who coined this incredibly apt yet decidedly overused phrase. Ultimately, this sexy pic of me atop a Hooters zamboni (omigod, I know!) will always be much more exciting than the actual event. But does this really matter? Of course not! What I will say, is that I now not only have a historical record proving my unwasted youth, but also a story about getting turned away from Greenfield Park's brand spanking new cultural establishment. Invite only or ten dollar cover? No, thank you, I think I'll go pimp your zamboni instead! Seriously, my overeducated brain just smolts with all the ontological possibilites. How many hooters zambonies are there? Do they ever actually go on the ice or are they forever doomed to be the ephemera of nice cold beer and a good view of a soothingly warm rack? What is the correct pluralization of the word zamboni, anyway? Pontificating aside, how jealous are you of me right now? My guess is a lot!