Sunday, March 01, 2009

Toss that Tired Shower Head and Catch the Wave!

Ok, maybe not. Let's not mess too much with the tried and true. However, if you are currently racking your brain desperately searching for a birthday gift that Twelve-year-old female in your life might actually use, why not consider giving her the Neutrogena Wave.

I was first alerted to the hidden "benefits" of the Wave while enjoying a little internet TV courtesy of the highly fuckable Sarah Haskins and her segment Target Women.

Marketed as a revolution in teenage facial cleansing, the Wave has "gentle vibrations that help open pores" in order to get that, ahem, "deep down tingly feeling" purportedly coveted by young women everwhere and which advertisers would have us believe is pretty much the next closest thing to nirvana.

Gentle vibrations, eh? Deep down tingling...wait a minute, I'm sorry, the Wave isn't for your face--it's for your fucking clit! Or, rather the aforementioned Twelve-year-old lady's curious clit! As Sarah Haskins' sarcastic deadpan bluntly puts it, "this product is definitely for washing your face."

I'll admit, I'm tickled pink by the idea that girls out there can start to further explore the magic of masturbation with something so perfectly counter intuitive as the Wave. I mean, the moral gulf between notions of cleanliness and notions of dirtiness/self-pleasure has plagued youth for centuries only to now culminate in the "cleansing" vibrations of the wave. Ha!

While not recommended as a substitute for frank and open talks about pre-teen/teenage sexuality and sexual health, the Wave certainly seems to be an introduction to the wonder of sex toys. Sweet and pink and available in assorted colours just like the dildos at any women oriented sex shop, while being more discreet than those rubber ducky vibrators, I can only hope that grrrls out there will soon be using the Wave for some much needed cleansing under the covers.

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