Thursday, June 12, 2008

Weekly Video -- Freddy Mercury VS The Odds

This week, to atone for my remissness last week, I present not one but two sexy videos. If I had more time (read: motivation and skill) I would create the mash-up video to end all mash-ups using these two videos. In the absence of such brilliance your imagination (the mind's youtube) will be required as you indulge in the varied flavours of sexiness offered up by The Odds and Freddy Mercury.





ps -- psych! Mystery guest writer....

Pomme Pomme Craft Fair: July 12 + 13th!

Lickety Split smut zine is please to announce that we are participating in the first ever Pomme Pomme Craft Fair!

What is The Pomme-Pomme Craft Fair? Pomme-Pomme is a unique craft fair in Montreal showcasing over 30 crafty vendors. The event is organized by Amy Johnson from Atelier Woodenapples and Tom Devlin from Drawn and Quarterly.When and where?This year’s event is being hosted at La Sala Rossa on July 12th and 13th.

Tuesday, June 10, 2008

Sex(y) Owies

Go out and get some already! Seriously, though, this post was inspired by the lovely Lola Lamb, one of Montreal's latest and greatest burly-q darlings. Recently, she revealed to me that there was a time when she was doing so many glamour shoots and strip shows that her eyelids became swollen from the application and removal of a few too many sets of Marilyn-style eyelashes. How fatally sexy is that? Reminds me of when I announced "My vagina is sore from too much sex" at an organizational meeting for the Vagina Monologues. You know, they thought it would be a good idea to go around the table and talk about how our vaginas were feeling (!?), and boy I am telling you, the envious glares I got after that little utterance were none too pretty.

Yes, it is nice from time to time to relish in the sexy smugness that can only come from a tell-tale little mark that lets everyone around us know just how desirous and desired we are. Sometimes they act as reminders or souvenirs--as in the time when my highschool boyfriend left a hickey on my breast that lasted the whole duration of his three week trip to Italy. Other times they can send a congratulatory ripple of relief through one's social circle as in when your friends know you've finally gotten laid from viewing a few burst blood vessels on your neck. And, I'm not just talking about hickeys here, either. Occasionally, there's a smidge of pleasure to be had from knowing you're so naughty that sometimes it might have to hurt just a little.

P.S. I know you know, but: STIs do not count as sexy injuries. Please don't fumble your condom or dental dam and end up with an un-sex(y) owie.

Monday, June 09, 2008

Lickety Split smut zine launches issue #6: The Risk Issue!


For Immediate Release: June 9 2008 -
Lickety Split smut zine will launch issue
#6:
The R I S K issue with a rock n' roll games night ! X ! X ! X !


with The Hot Springs, Hollerado, Call Me Poupee, On Bodies and the Dead Doll Dancersat La Sala Rossa (4848 St. Laurent), July 4th, 9pm, $10 with a copy of the latest issue

The riskiest party of the summer is going down at Sala Rossa, (4848 St. Laurent) on July 4th at 9pm, ten dollars gets you in the door and a copy of the latest issue. The bands playing are The Hot Springs, Hollerado and On Bodies!!! Be on guard for burlesque shenanigans care of the Dead Doll Dancers and games galore! Count on getting down for games of TWISTER, SEVEN MINUTES IN HEAVEN, RISK and the like! Also, smutty revelers are encouraged to take advantage of one another in our Lickety Split Dirty Photo Booth, contents of which may be published on-line at licketysplitzine.com or in the next issue of the zine.

Lickety Split #6: The R I S K issue includes tons of daring new work exploring the chance-y, dark and playful with photos of sex in public and needle play, an essay on being queer in prison, profiles on Lamda Instanbul and Sharing Is Sexy, "Dangerous Ladies" pulp fiction pin-ups by Andrea Hausmann and lots more! Featuring work by Sarah Beall, Nick Cabelli, Jeremy Edwards, Christina Foisy, Eric Hanson, Farah Kahn, Dayna McLeod, NOMRYN, Bill Puzstai, Omar Rahman, Nora Rohman, Ina Wood, The Prisoner Correspondance Project and Matt Jones, Neetzie, RoByn, Zo, triangles stuart, Noam and Earl, Jordan A with Mikiki and the Mystery Top, among many others. Our perrenial cover artist Sherwin Tjia (Slow Dance Night, The Hipless Boy, Pedigree Girls) has once again designed the cover art and Jesse Purcell printed them.

What they're saying about Lickety Split smut zine:
"Since appearing in 2004, Lickety Split has been dedicated to tenting your pants, wetting your undies and pressing a nerve." - Sacha Jackson, The Montreal Mirror
"It seems that every marginalized group wants its own version of pornography — punks, gays, lesbians, straight indie-rock chicks. But for those who want all of the above, there’s Lickety Split." - Amber Drea, Venus Zine

About Lickety Split smut zine:
Lickety Split is a pansexual smut zine dedicated to encouraging sex-positive expression and thought. The zine promotes collaborative art making and encourages diverse contributions to climb into bed with one another, because one sexual expression just does not satisfy. Lickety Split wants to help make the masses cum with smutty photography and art, essays and stories in order to fulfill the whole human being and address the complexity of sex.

Saturday, June 07, 2008

Tuesday, June 03, 2008

A note on the final hours of making Lickety Split #6

THIS IS IN REAL TIME
Here we are again, *safesolvent on his MacBookPro and me on my iMac, side by side in the midnight hour. For some reason, it always comes down to this, no matter how profesh we try to roll. K$, bless her heart, is remotely checking in on us as she can't be here.
Keywords: Pinnoli pizza + ice tea + soda, Mac geeks, discussions of about the Mac mouse "clit" (ew!- ed.), how to properly arrange ones actual workspace..., coffee at 9pm, FTPs and drop boxes, carrying arm loads of uncut covers down Verdun streets and up stairs!

Thursday, May 29, 2008

Demo against Bill C-484

MOBILISONS-NOUS CONTRE LE C-484 ! - MOBILISONS-NOUS CONTRE LE C-484 !

******************************
*********
Grande manifestation

Dimanche 1er juin

Rendez-vous à 14h00
Départ de la manifestation à 14h30 'pile'

Rendez-vous au parc Lahaie
(au coin des rues St-Laurent et St-Joseph - métro Laurier)
***************************************

Nous ne voulons pas retourner en arrière ! NON au C-484 !


Le 21 novembre 2007, le député conservateur Ken Epp déposait, à la Chambre
des communes du Canada, le projet de loi C-484 : Loi sur les enfants non
encore nés victimes d'actes criminels. Bien qu'il ait été déposé par un
député conservateur, ce projet de loi privé fut préparé par un groupe de
députés contre l'avortement, dont des députés libéraux.

Le projet de loi C-484 vise à amender le Code criminel afin de punir tout
acte de violence entraînant la mort d'un « enfant à naître ». Ce projet de
loi cherche implicitement à accorder une identité juridique au fœtus alors
qu'il n'en détient pas dans les lois actuelles. La redéfinition juridique
du statut du fœtus permettra aux anti-choix de rouvrir le débat sur la «
légalité » de l'avortement. Cette tactique a été utilisée par la droite
américaine pour criminaliser l'avortement.

Le corps des femmes a toujours été considéré comme une propriété publique.
Lorsque la femme est enceinte, son corps lui appartient encore moins: elle
ne peut plus fumer, boire d'alcool, faire de vélo, etc. Cette loi donnera
un contrôle légal de plus sur le corps des femmes. Cette tentative de
restreindre la liberté des femmes utilise un univers peu connu de la
population : le droit. En donnant à « l'enfant non encore né » un statut
juridique distinct de la mère, le projet de loi C-484 affirme que la femme
enceinte n'est plus une seule personne. Les droits du fœtus ne cesseront
de limiter ceux des femmes. Le projet de loi C-484 ouvre ainsi la porte à
une série de réinterprétations juridiques quant à la responsabilité d'une
femme enceinte à l'égard du fœtus qu'elle porte.

Ce projet de loi est présenté pour protéger les femmes enceintes face à
des actes criminels. La violence envers les femmes, qu'elles soient
enceintes ou non, est toujours inacceptable. Quand la violence conjugale
apparaît lors d'une grossesse, elle doit être dénoncée en tant que telle.

La reconnaissance de droits au foetus n'empêche pas les violences faites
aux femmes. La maternité doit demeurer un choix pour toutes les femmes;
tout comme les moyens de contraception et l'éducation sexuelle doivent
être accessibles à toutes.

Les femmes ont arraché à la droite religieuse et conservatrice le droit de
décider de leur corps. Nous ne voulons pas retourner en arrière. Soyons
dans la rue le 1er juin pour envoyer un message clair à Ottawa! Non au
projet de loi C-484 !


Une invitation de féministes opposées au projet de loi C-484.

Weekly Video -- Let's Go Outside!

This week, witness George Michael's video response ("Outside") to being arrested for engaging in a "lewd sex act" in a Beverly Hills bathroom in 1998. It also marks his official coming out.



"I'd service the community, but I already have you see..."

Thursday, May 22, 2008

Thursday, May 15, 2008

Weekly Video -- Metal Queen!

This week's hot Lee Aaron video is dedicated to Amber on the eve of Nightwood's debut tour. If you guys get chained up in Point Claire, just look for the robot with the laser-beam vision.



Wield that phallus! Kiss that dove butt!

Tuesday, May 13, 2008

A Night in Cleo


Looking for something inexpensive yet thoroughly enjoyable to do on one of Montreal's infamously sweaty summer nights? Well, young stud, get your sweet little ass down to Cafe Cleopatra on the corner of the Main and St. Catherine, walk up to the second floor and help support this institution of the red light district. Featuring classical drag shows two nights a week for under $10, it's the perfect way to take in a great show, get a little slippery and fight gentrification all at the same time.

After the Dead Dolls cabaret "Oh, My Bleeding Heart" this past February, the gruesome grrrls and friends stuck around to catch the show, and boy, were we not dissapointed. Teeming with innovation, six ladies dazzled us with their high energy routines ranging in style from belly dancing to Dolly Parton impressions.
Also featuring a wicked rendition of Whitney Houston's "It's Not Right But It's Okay"--which I swear made me get over my last breakup right on the spot-- one of the best parts about the show was the amount of pure joy, glamour and vivaciousness being expressed by these truly experienced performers.
Easily Montreal's oldest transsexual nightspot, Cafe Cleopatra is able to combine classical glamour with an unpretentious hospitality which allows everyone in the audience to be comfortably mesmerized. So yes, ladies and gentlemen, bois and grrrls: grab your lover, your best friend and their neighbour, and shimmy your way down to see this truly spectacular part of Montreal history and culture.

Thursday, May 08, 2008

Thursday, May 01, 2008

lickety split oddcast no. 4 B





yeah so everything's out of order. this is FRESH CREEM BABY, may oh eight.

IN YR EARS

lickety split oddcast no. 4 b "the pop cast"
or "that's the bunny from the video: that's the bunny for me"
or "chinese food is just a game we play."
alternatively titled "the superdelegates will wash the undecided"

featurin'

leornard bernstein on the gershwin
stephen p. mcgrevy's music of the magnetosphere
anemones
happy mondays
church triumphant and universal, inc.
tv on the radio
matthew dear
??
sparklehorse (briefly)
raymond scott
darkel

or something like that. i can't find my notes. where are my glasses? be my friend until the end of time?
***

QUEER BLACK PUNK SHOW: Friday May 2nd!

…thought we’d pass this along!

QUEER BLACK PUNK SHOW
MAY 2ND 8PM
STE-EMILIE SKILLSHARE
3942 ST EMILIE METRO ST.HENRI
SUGGESTED DONATION 5$ NOBODY TURNED AWAY

460224287_133e8de44e.jpg
460224287_133e8de44e.jpg

THE NEW BLOODS!!! (from PDX)
http://www.myspace.com/thenewbloods
DJ DIRTY BOOTS
DJ DIASPORA FACE
DJ DEGANE

For every of colour punk kid who couldn’t connect with riot grrrl.
For every of colour punk kid who got caught being queer in bathroomstalls.
For every punk kid who got made fun of for rockin’ neon pink miniskirts, hoop earrings and hairwraps.
For every punk kid who is brown, black, mixed race, yellow, red, desi,African, Indigenous, First Nations, Inuit, Metis, Caribbean, LatinAmerican, Asian, East Asian, Middle Eastern, South Asian, Aboriginal,non-white, non-European, (e)raced, (in)visible minority.
For every of colour punk kid who got told that they were doin’ somewhite shit cuz we know that tattoos, piercings, dreadlocks, mohalks andhardcore belong to people of colour.
For every of colour X-punk kid who can’t fkkn deal with going to punkshows anymore cuz of racism, homophobia, transphobia, fatphobia, Adbusterstyle classim/sexism.

Cuz WE WANT OUR MUSIC BACK!!! PLAY THAT PUNK RAGGAE
This is an open show (anyone and everyone is welcome however we won’t stand fi no foolishness)

–
Ste. Emilie Skillshare & Zine Distro
http://steemilieskillshare.com
3942 Ste. Emilie (corner/coin St. Augustin)
Montreal, PQ
H4C 2A1
*Metro Place St. Henri*

(Ste. Emilie Skillshare is a working group of QPIRG Concordia/
Ste. Emilie est un groupe de travail de QPIRG Concordia
http://qpirgconcordia.org)

Wednesday, April 23, 2008

Sometimes Inspiration Cums on Wednesday


"I guess I'm lucky I was made a freak before I could choose to be one, cuz I got no illusions about the pseudo-rebellion that's being marketed at my generation. [But] the media and the corporations will always be a step behind life, and the true rebels, freaks and queers (and there are many) continue to write our own stories, to paint our own lives, to sew our own clothes and to sow our own seeds. We are the ones choosing to be our free and freaky selves, always making a scene in the most inappropriate places, spitting defiantly in the face of authority and its values, wearing our Friday-night best, dancing like fiends toward revolution. Life is a cabaret, my friends."

-Nomy Lamm, a self-described "fat, sleazy, one-legged anarchist dyke [and] a total hottie," in Fishnets, Feather Boas and Fat, 1998.

Photo of Cammie Mudflaps by J.Goldsmith.

Sunday, April 20, 2008

Lickety Split: Good fer what ails ya!

These two found themselves in the hospital this past February after a "get drunk and slide event". The gentleman in the gurney experienced a speedy recovery thanks in part to the latest copy of Lickety Split #6, pictured above! Thanks to Nabi and Tyler for passing this along. : )

Saturday, April 19, 2008

Weekly Video- Nightwood gives us a...um...Nightwood?

Lickety Split's founder Amber is in the band Nightwood and this is their first video! I'd say that counts as sexy, wouldn't you? You always remember the first time and all...(ps: Amber's the one with the red gloves on!)



For a better quality version of this video (made up of 7300 still images in sequence) click here! For more on the band, click HERE!

Sunday, April 13, 2008

Lickety Split is for Moms, Too


How awesome/cute is this? On a recent visit to Montreal, my Mommy insisted on purchasing the two most recent issues of LS so she could have them for her very own. A sweet kid with a spunky penchant for burlesque and dirty stories, I will always be grateful for having such supportive parents. For months my mother begged me to let her read "Something Hard on the Rocks" in LS #4 and in spite of a chorus of naysayers, I finally did. You know what her reaction was? "That wasn't so bad. From the way you warned me against reading it, I had expected it to be really out there." So, aside from now knowing my Mom might just have kinkier taste than I do, I've realized it's possible to come clean with my parents about my art. Heck, I even introduced my last boyfriend to my father at a drag king show while wearing little more than a negligee and pasties! Ok, I may be a little brazen, slightly insane and a whole lotta lucky, but the point here is that it can be just as important for us smutsters to receive recognition from those family members we hold near and dear. And I say, give these people a chance. You never know when it could be your mom/uncle/little brother flying the flag of Lickety!

Monday, April 07, 2008

slowdance oddcast



(lickety split oddcast no. 6 side b)

MMM

a little warm up for the big slowdance prom on april 11 at sala rossa, promised to be "The Most Important Night of Your Life!"

"Door Prize Pack Draws!
A Lending Library of Resident Dancers!
A Photobooth for the Fashion-Passionate!

The night will be lit by a Mirrorball & the
Projections of Prom Scenes from over 20 movies!

Dress Fancy! Fantastic attire, while not
required, is greatly desired.

This is a queer & senior friendly event."

i won't be there. i don't dance. though i do enjoy sitting in the dark. this really does sound like a lovely evening, and i wish i was more of an extrovert.

then again: who would make the oddcasts?

oddcast dance card

"no moon at all" by nana miskouri
"something's on your mind" by karen dalton
"maggot brain" by parliament
"open heart surgery" by brian jonestown massacre
"blue melody" by tim buckley
"oh deed i do" by donovan. (ALL HAIL DONOVAN!!!)

plus some tv on the radio, stephen mcgreevy's recording of the earth's magnetosphere and dan gibson's swamp sounds.

for more info on the actual slowdancing (april 11) check out wornjournal.com, licketysplitzine.com and slowdancenight.blogspot.com
*

Thursday, April 03, 2008

Weekly Video -- Avenue D is a dirty bitch!

Voilà the always filthy Avenue D with "Punk Rock Song" -- pound for pound, these ladies manage to cram more DIY raunch into a music video than most celebrities can squeeze out of an 'accidentally' released home sex movie.



PS -- If you cum right now, you're dead.

Thursday, March 27, 2008

Beaver Time

Ok, so mark this one under random small-town occurences of smuttiness. On the drive back from New York this January my friends and I were hungover, bloated from far too much Italian food and in need of fuel to get us back to good 'ol Mtl. Having already taken a few unfruitful detours from the main road, it was one of those times where you slowly begin to fear that you may not reach petroleum before your car sputters to a bitter and defeated halt in the middle of nowhere.

Luckily, with just enough time to spare, we came upon the beacon of fluorescent light that is Betty Beaver's Truck Stop and Diner. And oh, what a sight she was! Reining over this shack-like establishment with her all-American poise and headlights as big as, ahem, headlights, Betty was not your average full-service gal and we knew it.

While I was catching beaver-fever by engaging in an impromptu photo shoot with Ms. Betty and our bedraggled driver experienced an unwholesome interaction of his own with the creepy service attendant, I was in awe at the happy-accident of finding such a blatantly pervy figure. As all my friends and vague acquaintances know, a passion to fuel up on beaver is certainly a base-line requirement for me when selecting lovers and to see such striking and random innuendo made me giddy as a school girl. Betty, you are my mascot. God Bless you, and God bless your American flag bustier!

D.I.Y. Porn Panel + Faggity Ass Friday "PAC-ASS" tomorrow!

This summary is not available. Please click here to view the post.

Weekly Video -- "Looks like you've been eating paste"

Here's a dirty, dancy video by queer rapper Cazwell called "All Over Your Face", featuring Amanda Lepore.



Whew! I'm exhausticated.

Thanks to Mike and Rob for the tip!

Tuesday, March 25, 2008

Thursday, March 20, 2008

Weekly Video -- Scream

This video by Timbaland gets a pass because how often do you see a woolen ski mask worn as fetish wear?



Can I have some of your cookies? Maybe while I .... DRINK YOUR MILKSHAKE!!!

Ummm, thanks Mike.

Oh yeah, ps: For a much better but less sexed-up video called Scream I recommend you click here.

Thursday, March 13, 2008

Weekly Video -- Dolly Parton likes who???

Who doesn't love a little DP, right? Here she is making a cougar pass at -- Billy Ray Cyrus??!!



This totally confirms the lesbian rumors.

Thursday, March 06, 2008

Weekly Video -- Ch-ch-ch-cherry Bomb!

Bringing the sexy (and the punk) to the West Coast way back when, here's Joan Jett's early band the Runaways with Cherry Bomb. My traveling companion tells me their skeezy manager affectionately billed them as "jail bait on the run."



Sweet outfit, right? Thanks Mike.

Wednesday, March 05, 2008

Thanks for Sex Talks! Part 1!

Just a quick note to say thanks to Daniel and Elizabeth from Concordia's University of the Streets cafe and the conversation they hosted tonight (Sex Talks! Part 1: Can we really say what we mean when it comes to sex?). I was honored to have been invited as a guest and was truly inspired by the exchanges the room of super interesting people had. What a thoughtful, creative place the back room of the Cagibi was and what a privvilege to be part of that! There are 2 more Sex Talks in the coming weeks, here are the details:
Date: 12/03/2008 - 19:00 - 12/03/2008 - 21:00
Moderator: Daniel Bouchard |

About the discussion

Ah, the buzzword of the ‘90s: safe sex. Whatever happened to that concept? A generation or so ago youth were inundated with information and scare tactics about how to have safe sexual practices. Currently, some of the highest rates of sexually transmitted infections (STIs) are among young people ages 15 to 24, the same age group where more than half of respondents in a recent survey believed there is a cure for AIDS. Not to mention a growing concern about seniors who are leading longer, healthier and more sexually active lives but who don’t see STIs as a concern. What kind of portrait does that paint for safe sex today? Is postivie sexual education even possible in today’s climate? Sex is going to happen so how do we create a culture of sexual health?

Guest:

Jocelyn Porter has several years experience working with youth of all ages in a variety of different leadership and educational settings. She is an outspoken advocate of sexual health and diversity. She brings her commitment to community, social justice and grassroots endeavours to the Sense Project: a two year pilot project, developed by Head & Hands, that aims to provide community-based sex education support for youth aged 13 to 16 at Montreal-area schools.

Christina Foisy, Sense Project coordinator, prevously worked in developing effective gender-specific violence-prevention programs geared towards young women. Christina has a strong interest in accessible sexual health and empowerment programs for youth and has created several “youth-friendly” publications on such topics. She is also interested in youth adult fiction that addresses sexuality in all of its nuance and splendor."

*******
Date: 19/03/2008 - 19:00 - 19/03/2008 - 21:00
Moderator: Daniel Bouchard |

About the discussion

For just a minute (or for two hours on a Wednesday night) let’s stop asking What is normal? and Am I normal? when it comes to sex (who gets to decide what’s normal by the way?) and ask ourselves: What constitutes good sex? Is it quantity? Quality? Is it technique? Intimacy? Communication? During this public conversation we will explore what it takes to have good sex, discussing issues such as peak experience, the role of taboos and shame, arousal and reward, and whether you can peak with someone you’re used to.

Guest:

Jim Pfaus is a Professor and researcher at Concordia’s Centre for Studies in Behavioural Neurobiology (CSBN.) His research generally deals with the physiological and psychological factors that influence sexual desire and behaviour. Jim is also a father and plays in the Montreal punk band Mold.

****
Also, if yer interested in contributing to Audio Smut radio as I mentioned during the talk, e-mail us at audiosmut AT ckut DOT ca . Check out this post for more deets.

...And here are the deets for the Lickety Split #6 call for submissions.

Tuesday, March 04, 2008

Headlights Shine Like Diamonds



Yowza, are these babies dazzling or what? I can't tell whether it's the bling juxtaposed with the battlescars or that bouncy burly-q curl glinting from all the gold sparkle but something's definitely working right in this pic. Obviously, everyone now has two more reasons to wish the Dead Dolls luck when they take to the stage in Boston! Yep, that's an affirmative on whiping down the judges tables afterwards.

Sex Talks! Can we say what we’re really thinking when it comes to sex?

Hey all,
As part of Concordia University's University of the Street Cafe, LS's editor (that's me!) has been invited to be a guest for this discussion Sex Talks!
Wednesday, March 5, 2008,
7:00pm - 9:00pm @ Cagibi (5490 St-Laurent)

Here's the Facebook event:
http://www.facebook.com/event.php?eid=8841054894

"We currently live in a borderline hypocritical culture when it comes to sexuality. On one hand sexually explicit media images bombard our lives, on the other hand sex still is a quasi-taboo subject that stereotypes, provokes judgement and moral panic. Let’s just say it hasn’t found a place as a dinner-table or water-cooler topic of conversation yet. How can we break through this polarized view of sexuality and create safe and open dialogues, with space for the occasional monologue? What does it mean to articulate our sexuality? How can we be safe and true when it comes to depicting our sexuality to others, privately or publicly. How can the sexual nature of our relationships be nurtured as a creative process?"

Guest:

Amber Goodwyn is a multidisciplinary artist working at Head & Hands. Amber holds a BFA in Film Production from Concordia University and is the founder of Lickety Split, a pansexual smut zine dedicated to encouraging sex-positive expression and thought. The zine promotes collaborative art making and encourages diverse contributions to climb into bed with one another.

Moderator:

Daniel Bouchard, regular moderator of University of the Streets public conversations, works as volunteer coordinator at Santropol Roulant. Curious about just about everything, he appreciates space for sharing, telling stories and the long-lasting effects of meaningful conversations. Daniel has recently learnt a thing or two about sex as he is about to become a new daddy.

**************************
******

...on your way over to the talk, have a listen to Audio Smut on CKUT radio from 6-7pm.

++++ REMINDER: LS's deadline for the Risk issue is April 1st! +++++

Friday, February 29, 2008

Weekly Video -- Hot Springs make you dizzy and weak in the knees

Here's some local talent for ya'. The Hot Springs' new video Headrush has the smokiest vocals I've heard in long time. Plus, shout out to our friend Anne, who looks mad hot drumming for bird people...



Keep them comin'!

Thursday, February 28, 2008

lickety split oddcast no. 5 side d


lickety split in yr wet dreams




the last multiples oddcast! also unfinished! sexier than ever! and yet strangely unfulfilling.

right-click and download it (or click and listen! clik n' lisn!)
or like go to indyish to subscribe to it
ou meme le facebook thing


featurin'

Erotica
Fushitsusha
Dan Gibson’s swamp sounds
Morricone’s sick heart + whispers + gasps
Neu!
DJ Q-Bert
Space Machine
Swamp Dogg


two-dimentional pop songs are static and inaccessible. they are "other" places, a storyland which holds our attention, through a narrative or emotional hook or something. lyrics contextualize the pop-song. it is like a press-release, a prepared statement, complete and truly intended by the pop artist; instructions on how to read the song, where it comes and who it's for.

the pop song on this side, for instance, suggests that if it were not for sly, the unintelligible but certainly celebrational grunting and moaning would not be taking place. the "sexy" noises, what one smarmy critic called "the panting noises of a woman with a broken leg trying to finish the last half of a marathon," are integral to the reading of the song: sly's funk music is so sexy the only way they can vamp it any higher is by outright aural carnal injection.

at the same time, however, it illustrates the difference between sly—multi platinum superstar—and swamp dogg—obscene mid-level soul sensation, specifically in terms of just how sexy music can be. swamp dogg, for better or worse, injects sexual female grunts as an additional instrument into the mix, which is then like a layer of pornography through which any reading of the song must penetrate.

this song is the nexus and inspiration for this side.

it is followed by a mysterious "song" comprised of excited bongos, another excited female voice, and what are apparently bedsprings, each rising in intensity over a five minute span. this is overlayed over takushi yamazaki's spacemachine project, from a piece which germinates meanderingly for 21 minutes. this is like a joke, like two lovers who are not on the same wave length. or one lover who is not paying attention. there are moans and rhythm but there is also a wandering somethingelse. perhaps sex is very cosmic after all.

it is bookended by two songs from fushitsusha and neu! (which i pronounce "noy," but you make tackle as you see fit) which i find immensely sensual. in contrast to the swam dogg song, where an aggreable interpretation would be: "yeah, it would be good to be sexin' right now," the longer, instrumental songs offer no indication of how they are meant to be received. as a result their interpretation can be guided and influenced. or at least, that was to be the experiment.

the fushitsusha track represents flirting, and horniness and vexation, leather jackets and night clubs. this piece in particular i find very accessible, simple rock and rock, like 35 wordless white stripes songs in 10minutes. rock and roll is sexy, right? black leather and sunglasses and all that?

the neu! song has a strange excited sameness to it. like the bongo-space-sex medley preceding it, it offers both the motion of rhythm and the texture of the silky guitar twiddles. i guess its a little like cuddling, but far more dynamic. maybe like dolphins.

both songs were to be completely over-dubbed with "sexy noises." to be realized fully, the project requires a more significant variety of "sexy noises" then can be procured presently, and so is presented incomplete.

listening to excited heartbeats can raise your own heart rate. as a counter measure a sick, irregular heartbeat was added throughout the side.

sometimes it makes me dizzy


next week! we found no.4 side B! the oddcast homage to popmtl! sure, pop was almost five months ago. but its mercantile spirit remains always.

Tuesday, February 26, 2008

HARDCORE READING SERIES!

Just in case you haven't heard, the Co-op Bookstore is hosting the Hardcore Reading Series--a monthly event--starting tomorrow, Wednesday, February 27 at 7 pm. The event should be a lot of fun, so we're hoping you'll c'mon down to 2150 Bishop to check it out. Here's the line-up:

* LAURA ROBERTS, Editor-in-Chief of Black Heart Magazine and sex columnist for Hour.ca
* MARK JOHN HIEMSTRA, a guy who's new in town but has lots of hardcore stories to share
* SARALINE GRENIER, with an excerpt from her novel about time travel
* VERA OLEYNIK (aka Abbie Kitten), a woman who has lived more lives than you
* GILLIAN SZE, reading from her awesome chapbook "This is the Colour I Love You Best"

Suggested donation is $5 at the door, though no one will be turned away, and readers' works will be available for sale at the bookstore. You've got nothing better to do on a Wednesday night, so why not check out our Hardcore Reading Series? We guarantee NO BORING READINGS OR YOUR MONEY BACK!

See you there!
- Laura Roberts and Mark John Hiemstra,
Hardcore Reading Series co-organizers

Monday, February 25, 2008

Wear Pink on Wednesday!!

When a Grade 9 boy was bullied for wearing pink at a high school in Nova Scotia,two Grade 12s started a pink-wearing campaign to support him. The next day, tons of kids were wore pink to school, and the two older boys handed out 50 free pink t-shirts.

This Wednesday the anti-bullying campaign goes global -- wear some pink to show support (as you may have noticed, Lickety Split always wears pink).

Hell, you can even throw a pink party if you feel like it!

Saturday, February 23, 2008

Be in a Lickety Split Deck of Cards!!

Pick a card – Any card!!



Have you ever wondered what you might look like framed by clubs or diamonds?

Lickety Split Zine invites you and your friends to pose for our Nude Dudes deck of playing cards, a limited edition artifact that will be distributed alongside Issue # 6 of the zine.

We’re looking for 52 different individuals to make a complete deck (jokers aside); all photos will be taken on Polaroid film. This is a gender-queer-and-gender-fuck –friendly project, so any and all male-identified people and personas are encouraged to apply.

We’ll be prioritizing diversity and originality, so send a description of yourself and your idea to k@licketysplitzine.com (and a head shot if possible, please!). We encourage people of all sizes, shapes and shades to appear in Lickety Split!!

*Is your heart set on being the Jack of Hearts? Choice of card will be determined on a first-come first-serve basis.

** Due to high printing costs, participants may be asked to contribute a donation of $20 if they can afford it. In exchange, they will receive their own copy of the deck once printed.

Deadline to apply: March 1st

Comfort and consent

* In order to ensure the comfort and safety of both the model and photographer, Lickety Split uses this set of guidelines for all photo sessions (click on “photo guidelines”).

*Full nudity is optional. All models will be asked to sign a release form post-shoot.

*Photos may be taken by persons other than the photographer (Kathleen KR) upon request.

*Photographer may bring an assistant to shoots for her own comfort/safety.

no flirty




"Prosecutors in Saudi Arabia have begun investigating 57 young men who were arrested on Thursday for flirting with girls at shopping centres in Mecca.
"The men are accused of wearing indecent clothes, playing loud music and dancing in order to attract the attention of girls."


read the story @ the beeb

Friday, February 22, 2008

Thursday, February 21, 2008

Weekly Video -- Nick Cave has the No Pussy Blues

I think this video is a nice pessimistic follow-up to last week's Valentine's Day bitter croonings.

Grinderman's very Talking-Heads-esque "No Pussy Blues":



If you can watch this without getting horny, you're neither animal, vegetable, nor mineral.

Tuesday, February 19, 2008

Dead Dolls Cock Suck Countdown: Suck #2




Just look at Miss Tear Jerker go! Here for your ravenous consumption is yet another morsel of undead perversion to get those juices flowin' for O' My Bleeding Heart! One advantage of having a dismembered cock? You can plop it on your thigh and finally give those hundred year old hips a well-deserved rest.

This just in from the crypt:

"The Dead Dolls exist in a realm where class cannot penetrate." - Cammy Mudflaps, on the Titties and Ass Balloon Dance.

"I like how this dance is a comment on the way Justin Timberlake jerks off all over himself."
- Penelope Percacet, on the Dead Dolls tricked-out version of Sexy Back.

Come experience this class-less realm and jerk off all over yourself!

Saturday feb 23
cafe cleopatra
showtime 9pm
doors open to start drinking -8pm

tickets at door $12

presale tickets $10
available at
Joy Toyz
514-845-8697
4200 boul. st. laurent suite 415 (corner rachel)

Monday, February 18, 2008

no orgasms, no dicks



indian intranet provider bans words;

complete list unavailable

complete list probably doesn't exist.

secret "team" decides what words are okay
and lets a room of computers do the rest.

banned words include, but are not limited to, "orgasm" "orgy" "sexual climax" "dik or dick" "dam or dammit"

from an editorial in the times of india.

"in our article we had described a flock of wild pigeons landing at the edge of a desert pond and having 'an orgy of spray bathing'. We had used the word orgy in its dictionary meaning of 'a celebration in general'. On the 28th, we sent a registered letter to VSNL chairman, pointing out the absurdity, and illegality, of his company's expurgating policy. We have not, as yet, received any reply."


comment directly to the newspaper here

Sunday, February 17, 2008

Concordia Coop Anti-Valentine -- L/S was there...



Last Wednesday evening Lickety Split had the pleasure of attending Concordia Co-op Bookstore's 5th annual Anti-Valentine's event.

It was a super fun and informal evening, and the turnout was really fantastic (you can't tell from the photos). Larissa's comedy stylings were a sweet surprise, as was the jam session at towards the end of the evening. Christina read her story ("Because They Loved Each Other They Played Twister" -- Issue #5) to much acclaim. Delicious cupcakes were enjoyed by all.







Saturday, February 16, 2008

Get Your Heart-On: The Dead Dolls Present O' My Bleeding Heart, A Post-Mortem Valentine for the Masses



You heard right, folks! Right on the decomposing heels of a frenzied, frightening fall and the jaw-breaking sucess of The Rotting Flesh Review, Montreal's Dead Doll Dancers are slithering out of the ground once more too offer you a post-mortem valentine! Come get your heart-on at O' My Bleeding Heart and these zombshells are sure to have you on the edge of your seat with all their tastelessly titillating treats!

Special guests include:

Nat King Pole- everyone's favourite inducer of wet panties, and

Big Moves- Boston's saucy, sexy spectacle of burlesque and size-acceptance all rolled into one well filled out corset.

Saturday feb 23
cafe cleopatra
showtime 9pm
doors open to start drinking -8pm

tickets at door $12

presale tickets $10
available at
Joy Toyz
514-845-8697
4200 boul. st. laurent suite 415 (corner rachel)

info/tickets: 514-561-9678

Now, to kick things off, LS presents:

The Dead Dolls Cock Suck Countdown!!!!

My, oh, my Miss Penelope Percacet has been getting some good ghoulish lovin' in the fifty years since she rose from the grave. Tune in every day or so for a new slice of proof that sometimes the best head of your life can cum after you're no longer living!
Cammy Mudflaps really seems to be enjoying herself!

Friday, February 15, 2008

Texas Repeals Ban on "Obscene Devices"

I.e., dildos, vibes, etc... A little tardy, but not too late to celebrate!

Here's a fascinating and hilarious excerpt from The Dildo Diaries doc explaining the history of Texan obscenity laws and the ingenious methods people have been using to circumvent them!

Did you know: Prior to the repeal if you owned 6 or more dildos in Texas you could be arrested for "intent to distribute", but if you owned 5 or less you were considered merely a "hobbyist". Hee.

Thursday, February 14, 2008

Weekly Video -- This Day Can Suck my Clit!!

Hi, forgive a gal who had a really, really bad 2007.

On this beautiful sunny day, which I actually have no quibbles with, I'm gonna go ahead and inject a healthy dose of venom into all the lovin' vibes smearing around out there. Fuck Valentine, fuck his cousin, and fuck his goddamn dog.

This phenomenal song by Kelis ("Caught Out There") goes out on behalf of myself, my lady-friends, my mother, my grammamica, and my nana. Yeah, that's right.



Yo, he's lyin'.

Wednesday, February 13, 2008

Morgantaler to be awarded Order of Canada -- Cast your vote


So a group of pro-choice activists have launched a campaign to award Henry Morgentaler the Order of Canada.

Morgentaler has been nominated twice already, but was passed over both times.
He has recently suffered a stroke and his health is failing. The Order of
Canada cannot be awarded posthumously. Read the article here.


Here's the urgent part. The Globe & Mail is conducting a poll on the question of whether or not Morgentaler should receive this award. So far, the 'no' side has received overwhelming support (like over 80% of votes cast). yik

Please cast your vote here.


Image from a demonstration held in Sherbrooke in 1979.

Sunday, February 10, 2008

Right, so, Leslie Hall. That was fun.



Here's the thing. There were way too many people. Why wasn't this show at a bigger venue? Why stuff a tiny venue to 10 times its capacity and deny a bunch of others admission, when there are plenty of other, larger places all over this city? The last time I was jostled within an inch of my life was 3 years ago at Club Soda (or maybe it was Metropolis) where I went to see The Killers—say what you will, that first album was, um, killer—and I swore to never put myself in that situation again. What is it about closed spaces that makes it acceptable for people to give you unapologetically dirty looks while they actively bum rush you? Why can't people behave, as they do, for example, at Faggity Ass Fridays? Leslie & The LYs are supposed to be fun, and you'd think the experience would be swathed in a general atmosphere of good vibes. Instead, you have a room full of people who are caught between their fanatic love for the people on stage and their deep-seeded hatred for the people around them. I lost my friends, have a couple bruises, and when I think back to the night, all I can really remember are the two unmentionably rude girls who violently pushed their way in front of us and spent the rest of the evening encouraging their friends to do the same. (In case you're curious as to why I insisted on staying rooted, I suppose it's 50% prideful righteousness—I was there first, dammit!—and 50% the desire to get a couple good photos for you, dear reader).

When I think a bit harder, I remember that Donzelle put on an amazing performance, as always. Roxanne was ON, Mo'skye sang to me, claiming she'd love me forever if I bought her a car, and Micomb did that thing where you grab your ankle and, um... you know... well, it was hilarious and awesome. And Leslie... where do I start? From her entrance to the on-stage costume change, the introduction by Cher, the backup dancers / singers / roadies / merch table girls, the evangelic naming-of-the-sweaters, the HAIR, the gems... it was, without a doubt, one of the most amazing performances I've ever seen, even without "Gold Pants Lullaby," which was notably absent from the playlist.

Would I go see Leslie & The LYs again? Perhaps... but certainly not at such a small place. I wouldn't bother taking photos. I'd probably stand in the back. In the meantime, I'm going to go look for bands absolutely no one has ever heard of and go see them instead.






Thursday, February 07, 2008

Weekly Video -- Show yo ass

What better video for this chilly, grey February day than The Coup performing their bittersweet song "Show yo ass." Sexy, angry and nostalgic all at once. Welcome to the 'month of love' doldrums...



Who doesn't have a crush on Boots Riley or, for that matter, Pam the Funkstress?

Wednesday, February 06, 2008

Beats, Booty and Cackling Sea Shanties: Body and Soul 5 Showcases a Unique Mix of Hotttt Women Performers

“I don’t like sausage, I like sauerkraut”
These words, bouncing powerfully off the lips of Giselle Numba One, were just one example of many gut-busting utterances of sheer prowess and joy perking my ears during Tuesday night’s edition of Festival Voix d’Amériques. The fifth installment of the aptly named Body and Soul night, the goal of its organizers was to break away from the limited amount of space and sexiness normally allowed women performers and aimed instead to showcase the kind of grrrls who simply can’t help but trample all over normative conventions of beauty and behaviour. As explained by artistic director D. Kimm, female artists can become so boxed in by criticisms concerning their bodies that it has the unfortunate effect of detracting attention from the recognition they deserve as artists. Having staged successful revolutions of roaring femininity for the past four years, the latest edition boasted a one-two punch beginning with the brazen bootyliciousness and slick tongues of Giselle Numba One and Donzelle and culminated with a special appearance by esoteric musician and artist Baby Dee.
Skipping up to the mic with a sly, don’t-mess-with-me pigeon-toed walk, Giselle Numba One immediately told the crowd that for her first number it was their decision, “beat or no beat?” Seemingly nervous upon the return of a “no beat” verdict, Giselle reluctantly left her red laptop/beat box aside but within seconds it became clear she had been feigning modesty as rhymes spat flawlessly from her lips. Sometimes sweet, sometimes teasing, she was always commanding. Backed by her own smooth, unselfconscious dance moves, Giselle fired the first of what round after round of fresh hip hop. Seamlessly blending her beats with subject matter ranging from Wicca to seducing straight girls while their boyfriends are on tour, this energetic lady captivated all of Sala Rossa with her humility, fierce presence and even fiercer sound.
Up next, sharing the set with Giselle, was the Portuguese-Quebecois powerhouse Donzelle. Reigning over the crowd in her gold spandex leggings and flashy bling, this bilingual temptress took to the mic with as much sass, dirt and sexual agency as Khia and peaches combined, only to add a whole new level of groove to the mix. Flocked by one equally decked-out back up dancer, Donzelle’s smooth rhymes were accompanied by seductive dips which only served to further the mesmerizing quality of her performance. Her face full of expression, she smiled as those in the audience gleefully caught on to her filthy innuendo. Sharing the stage with grace and authority Giselle Numba One and Donzelle captured an energy that filled the whole room with soul and real ingenuity.
Switching gears for Act II, festival goers were privileged to witness Baby Dee, a truly talented musician whose history as a MTF transsexual performer in a Coney Island freak-show had already created a tone of mystery before she even took to the stage. A classically trained piano and harp player, Baby Dee dove into her first song with the kind of gusto which conjured up images of pirates preparing to face their fates on the high seas. Backed by cello, bass and guitar, she cackled and threw her head back at every turn of her musical expedition, clearly taking delight in some audience member’s uneasy reactions to her zany and sometimes controversial song lyrics. Claiming that she can sometimes get a big head when reporters compliment her on having written some of the most offensive songs of all time, Baby Dee explained her humility comes from always remembering she “only stands on the shoulders of tasteless giants.” Sometimes appearing as a ghostly apparition or trickster, the murky strength, sorrow and joy conjured up by Baby Dee’s haunting melodies were coupled with tender emotion which spoke to the diverse experiences of this unique performer. An unpredictable combination of female artists, Body and Soul 5 allowed a lucky audience to glimpse performances featuring fearless stage presence, commanding creativity and self-defined hottttness.

Issue #6 -- Call for Submissions!!


It’s Lickety Split #6#6#6 – The Risk Issue!!!

The mark of the Beast is upon Lickety Split smut zine– We’re flirting with our darker desires this time around, hiking our skirts up inch by frisky inch. Oh, the possibilities… We enlist you, we implore you, hell we double-dog-dare you: Take a deep breath and send us your tantalizing, titillating and totally uncensored proposals. Take a chance on smut!

Lickety Split urges you to submit your proposals for:
Kinky and crafty limited edition artist objects (e.g. trading cards,
buttons, etc)

As well as our standing invitation for:
Models and photographers
Essays, interviews & reviews
Short stories
Comics, drawings, and other sexy 2D art!

Submission Guidelines
Before you let loose with a huge torrent of porn and sex related ideas, please acquaint yourself with our guidelines and criteria. Written work can be no shorter than 300 words but no more than 800; please include a pitch and cover letter with your submission.

Models and photographers:
Please read the photo guidelines and the technical requirements before you pitch your idea! Photos must be 300dpi or higher and submitted in either a JPEG or TIFF format. Please send submissions to k@licketysplitzine.com or mail to Lickety Split, P.O. Box 1783, Station H, Montreal QC H3G 2N6

Deadline:
April 1st 2008

Concordia C. S. Co-op Bookstore Valentine's Day Event!

The Concordia Community Solidarity Co-op Bookstore will hold its fifth annual Anti-Valentine’s Day Event on Wednesday, February 13th starting at 7 p.m. The event will be held at the Co-op Bookstore, located at 2150 Bishop, and will feature short films from Volatile Works, Rachel Dhawan, and the Pink Panthers, as well as stand-up comedy by Clara Kwan and Larissa Dutil, musings from Women’s Studies professor Trish Salah (to be confirmed), a brief acoustic performance by HULK-298, and readings from local smut zinesters Lickety Split and Laura Roberts of Black Heart!

The Concordia Community Solidarity Co-op Bookstore is a not-for-profit organization aimed at reducing student fees by selling books, school supplies and other items at a fraction of their suggested retail price. Used book consignment services also enable students to recoup some of the money they spend each year on textbooks, and artisan consignments encourage the community’s thriving art scene. Membership costs only $10 for life, though one need not be a member in order to shop at the Co-op or attend this Anti-Valentine’s Day event.

The Concordia Community Solidarity Co-op Bookstore is located at 2150 Bishop Street in Montreal. The Anti-Valentine’s Day Extravaganza kicks off at 7 p.m. Admission is a suggested donation of $5, though no one will be turned away, and all of the Co-op’s stock will be available for purchase throughout the evening. Refreshments will also be available for a small donation.

http://www.co-opbookstore.ca
Concordia Community Solidarity Co-op Bookstore
2150 Bishop
Montreal, Qc
Office: 514-848-7445
Fax: 514-848-7450

Tuesday, February 05, 2008

Audio Smut radio: Call for Submissions + listen in Wednesday @6pm!

If you've got something to say about sex and sexuality, we're listening! The Audio Smut radio collective is on the lookout for a variety of short-to-long format radio pieces for the 2008 schedule, including:

- Audio Diaries
- Reviews
- Community profiles and updates
- Interviews
- Opinion pieces
- and more!!

If this sounds interesting to you or if you are interested, send us a paragraph long pitch and we'll get back to you! You can e-mail us at audiosmut @ ckut . ca.

Audio Smut is a radio show based in Montreal that looks at sex from all angles: educational, political, cultural and kinky. Tune in the first Wednesday of every month from 6-7pm on CKUT 90,3 FM. Audio Smut is one of four shows that air during the Hersay hour. To listen on-line and download past shows visit ckut.ca.

Check out the Audio Smut radio Facebook group & MySpace page when you have a chance!

Friday, February 01, 2008