Up Yours Benefit for Lickety Split this Friday!

Cum on out this Friday, September 3rd for a dance party in support of Lickety Split!

Where:
Cabaret Playhouse
5656 Avenue du Parc
11 pm to 3am

With:
Deejays
Like the wolf
cat-a-strofik
...et invitées

5$ pwyc
fundraiser for lickety split smut zine

FB event

Sexualizing Shakespear

In these videos, the comedian shows how the sad fate of Shakespearean women could be avoided if they simply turn to their sassy gay friend for guidance. I just watched a new one about "The Giving Tree"...You remember the children's book where the tree gives everything she's got to the guy and ends up a stump on the ground? Nooo freaking way, you stupid bi-atch.

Hipsters

Making generalizations: Hipsters are the worst!! But this video is funny.

Get between the covers!

Montreal's third annual queer book fair Queer Between the Covers will be taking place this Saturday! The event is being presented by Qteam as part of PERVERS/CITÉ. There will be a wide array of books, zines, and queer cultural productions from across eastern North America, in addition to awesome objects from local zinesters and artists.

Lickety Split will most definitely have a table at this event, so please do come and say hi!

Queer Between the Covers
Saturday, August 14
Centre St. Pierre, 1212 rue Panet, #1205
12-6pm

Rosanne meets Riot Grrrl

Lickety Split Now Available at Bluestockings Books in New York City

Hooray! Lickety Split has landed in New York City at Bluestockings Bookstore, Cafe and Activist Center! If you live in New York or are just visiting, be sure to check out this legendary space on the tres arty Lower East Side.

172 Allen St.
New York, NY 10002

100% Cotton

The joy of smut!

Hey folks!

I'm quite pleased to inform you that Lickety Split is now available at Joy Toyz (4200 boul. St. Laurent, Suite 415)!
Joy Toyz is a hidden gem in an office building on Montreal's Main. They are a sex toy shop that is sex-positive, inclusive, with a sense of community and a really friendly atmosphere. Check 'em out!

The Blow Monkeys

The Dirty Dancing Soundtrack is truly a gem. While at the gym, I gave a new reading to the song "You Don't Own Me" which had always been sung by women before it was covered and sung by Dr. Robert of The Blow Monkeys for the *fabulous* Dirty Dancing soundtrack.



For the Dirty Dancing its pretty refreshing to hear a man wail the lyrics "You don't own me/Don't say I can't go with other boys" and "You don't own me. Don't try to change me in any way...You don't own me...Don't tie me down 'Cuz I'll never stay" AND "Just let me be myself, thats all I ask of you"...amazing!

Upon hearing this, I decided to look into The Blow Monkeys, sure that they had other subversive tunes up their sleeves. I quickly found the song "Digging Your Scene" which came out in 1986 and topped the charts. Underneath the pop success were sad and honest lyrics about losing a friend to HIV, and acknowledging that it could be his fate as well. In the chorus Dr. Robert asks, "Oh tell me why is it I'm digging your scene, baby? I know I'll die, baby". I found an article about the song where the author wrote "It’s nice to know that even now, when gays are still denied basic rights that others take for granted and religious organizations actively lobby Congress to keep anti-gay discrimination legal, there was a time in the middle of the bright and shiny ‘80s when a pop band wasn’t afraid to challenge the hateful rhetoric of the day with a song that still remains genuine ear candy."

Coney Island Loves Lickety Split!

Thanks, *safesolvent!

West Side Story

Just a quick note to any Lickety Split readers out in the West end of Montreal: you can now find our latest issue, as well as some back issues, at Co-op la maison verte (5785 Sherbrooke O.) and at Diamond Books (5035 Sherbrooke O.).

Distro Dandy

Hello all!

A little introduction is in order. My name is Mark Ambrose Harris, and I am now doing distribution for Lickety Split. You might say I am the official Distro Dandy. As a long time supporter of, and a contributor to this publication, I am very excited to get quality smut into your hands.

Lickety Split #8: The Work Issue, is still hot off the presses, and looks fantastic. I have been biking around the city, and delivering the new issue to some great establishments. So if you are in Montreal, you can now pick up LS #8 at The Concordia Community Solidarity Co-Op Bookstore (2150 Bishop), Cheap Thrills (2044 Metcalfe), Galerie Monastiraki (5478 St-Laurent), and Sound Central Record Shop (4486 Coloniale).

I will continue to get LS into other shops around town, and I promise to keep you updated. If you know of any establishments that would like to carry Lickety Split, please do not hesitate to contact me: markambroseharris@gmail.com.

Happy reading!

Please Vote for Miniature Frolic

Three of Lickety Split's lovely team members, *safe solvent, Lalouka and Gold Smith, recently collaborated on this whimsical short film, "Miniature Frolic." This week, they submitted it to a competition on Talenthouse. If it wins, it will appear at the "A Shaded View on Fashion" film festival in Paris!

Please take the time to view this Sofia Coppola-esque treat and vote before Friday to send the Lickety Team to Paris.

Faggity Ass Fridays: The Gayest Party of All Time!

Head & Hands and the Playhouse present:

Faggity Ass Fridays: THE GAYEST PARTY OF ALL TIME!

Featuring music by Benni E !!!! (Philly)
http://www.myspace.com/bennipanama
...
Perfos:
Kitty Van Dyke
Tooloose Letrick
Connie Lingua

DJ Fucks
DJ Noisy Nora

Photobooth of Faggotry and Dyketude with Diana Le Nézet

On July 30th, Faggity Ass Friday is bringing you the gayest party of all time ever. Bust out your spandex, your feather boa, your sailor cap, and throw them all in a blender. Performers Kitty Van Dyke, Tooloose Letrick, and Connie Lingua will take their queer and smear it on the stage. Come early, and pose in our Photobooth of Faggotry and Dyketude with Diana Le Nézet. Benni E is queer hiphop, coming all the way from Philly to burn the disco down.

And say a big sloppy FAREWELL to NOISY NORA as she moves on to gayer pastures!

We mean it kids.
Gayest ever. Get ready.

www.faggityassfridays.blogspot.com

Friday, July 30th, 2010
10pm-3am
The Playhouse (5656 Avenue du Parc)
$10 suggested donation; all money goes to the Sense Project

FB event

File Under: Amazing Ad of the Day

I wish this ad was real. A public recruitment campaign that sought to entice people into nursing through the prospect of improving women's gynecological health would be rad.

UP YOURS! Fundraiser for G20 Legal Defense Fund - This Friday

E
P
I
C

P
A
R
T
Y

DJS:
ALEX HEGGIE
BOBBY
VINCENT DOYLE
TOBOGGAN
CATASTROFIK
MUSCLEMAN

TOO MUCH FUN, NOT ENOUGH TIME.

This party is a fundraiser for the g20 legal defense fund! Come show your love for those who are still in jail, were detained, or anyone on the streets of Toronto (or those who think about them) and....take your clothes off.


Five dollars suggested donation at the door. All proceeds go to the g20 legal defense fund.

Friday, June 16
Doors 11 pm
The Playhouse
5656 Avenue du Parc

Facebook event

For more information on how you can help - join this group:
http://www.facebook.com/group.php?gid=108249109226598

Lickety Split smut zine seeks Co-Event Planner Extraordinaire!

Lickety Split smut zine is searching for a gregarious, organized and self-motivated volunteer to become our new Montreal events co-coordinator!

We are looking for a creative individual who is familiar with the amazing, sex positive and queer friendly events currently happening in Montreal. Previous experience with event planning is desired as well as the ability to work autonomously and in collaboration with the Lickety Split team.

As our co-party-thrower extraordinaire, you will work alongside Lickety's current event planner in order to organize our monthly Smut on the Dance Floor Event. What's more, you will share in the exciting task of approaching and collaborating with existing organizations in order to foster and grow a community dedicated to sex positive expression and thought.

Duties will include working with and booking: venues, DJs, bands, poster artists, volunteers and other performers in a professional and courteous manner. Flexibility and trouble-shooting skills are a must, and experience with the media is an asset.

Though this is an unpaid gig, refreshments, space and time will be available as well as major kudos, high fives and freebies along the way. Each issue of Lickety Split relies heavily on the revenue generated by our events and your contribution as event planner is essential to our production!

For those of you who are interested in beefing up your resume, or have talent to share, please send a cover letter and your CV to Sarah at beall.sarah@gmail.com

The deadline to apply is July 31, 5pm. Lickety Split is an equal opportunity "employer" and members of traditionally disadvantaged groups are encouraged to apply.

Lickety Split is a pansexual smut zine dedicated to encouraging sex-positive expression and thought. The zine promotes collaborative art making and encourages diverse contributions to climb into bed with one another, because one sexual expression just does not satisfy. Lickety Split wants to help make the masses cum with smutty photography and art, essays and stories in order to fulfill the whole human being and address the complexity of sex.

The Top 5 Pop-Culture-Themed Sex Toys

This past week at Nerve, I was given the arduous task of researching pop-culture-themed sex toys and writing a piece ranking them in order of greatness. (I know, my life is hard). And, while I wasn't able to go so far as to test them out, I did un-earth a wide variety of blow-up dolls, many of which I was unable to include in the list for fear they would overwhelm it.

Lucky for you, Lickety Loverrrs, I'm presenting you with the list on Nerve, and, one of my personal favorites that didn't make that list: The Beyonce Love Doll!

Yes, that's right folks, "you don't have to put a ring on this slutty siren."

Oh, my, what plumbing the depths of the internet will bring you!

California Gays to Wash the Rain Away

It's raining here in New York, and as I dream about dryer climates and teeny-weeny bikinis, this uber-gay parody of Katy Perry's California Gurls feels just about perfect pitch. When Perry released this sugar-coated, gittery, candy-colored orgy of a video a couple of weeks ago, we were so appalled by horny gummy bears and a decided "un-street" Snoop Dog cameo, that we didn't have enough brain cells to pay attention to the song's lyrics. Not that this is necessarily advisable, mind you, but it is interesting to note how a trio of dancing twinks can give a hot injection of fun into what may inevitably become that song you can't stop singing in spite of yourself.



Paging Control-era, Janet: These California Gays are totally fine, fresh, fierce, and dying to be back-up dancers in your next video.

Rainbow Fetish!

My friend Amelia commented: "And then he came all over the rainbow."
HAHA!

The 5 Best Sex-Themed TED Talks on Nerve.com

Check it out, y'all! This morning, your lovely Lickety Split editor has an article about the sexiest TED Talks on Nerve.com.

Remember when I wrote about Mary Roach's, "Ten Things you didn't know about orgasm," and Make Love Not Porn? Totally happy to be giving a shout-out once again.

Anna Paquin is Bisexual! :)

Writing a paper on Divine, and someone stumbled upon this!

Lickety Split #8: The Work Issue is Finally Here!!

Bust out yr smutty toolbox and dust off those dirty, kinky boots, because Lickety Split 8: The Work Issue, is finally here!

Featuring smutty writing, art and photography by: Mikel Marton, Mark Ambrose Harris, Sophie Glowa, Samara Leibner, Valerie Webber, Farah Khan, Noisy Nora, Gloria Gloryhole, Monogamie and more!!

Slip into the staxxx with Susie Lovelace, learn how to get fabulous muscles, take more sex days, and find out how to get kinky on the cheap!

Through labour pains and stock market gains, LS 8 The Work issue has got your smutty career aspirations covered!


More colour pages than ever! A gorgeous, "high concept" silkcreened cover! Richly saturated black and white images! Great writing! Naked people! FSC-approved printing process! Self-actualized smut!

>>>>VOTED #4 Maga(zine) in the Montreal Mirror Best Of Montreal 2010!<<<<< "Since appearing in 2004, Lickety Split has been dedicated to tenting your pants, wetting your undies and pressing a nerve." - Sacha Jackson, The Montreal Mirror "It seems that every marginalized group wants its own version of pornography — punks, gays, lesbians, straight indie-rock chicks. But for those who want all of the above, there's Lickety Split." - Amber Drea, Venus Zine Buy on Etsy

Faggity in Space!!!

Head and Hands and the Playhouse present...

Faggity Ass Fridays:
FAGGITY...IN SPACE!

ASS-tronauts, Spandex, Alien Beauties and more! Wear you best Barbarella or Alien Encounter outfit. Get ready to give face....in gayspaccccceee! We have drag, burlesque, and more to titillate your out of this world senses. Our DJs will be showing the Rocket Man a few things about beats. Come for an out of this world experience, and stay for the homos!

DJs:
ThomCarlo
AnaP
Casino
Noisy Nora

Perfos:
Kitty Van Dyke
Sarah "Laser" Claire
Connie Lingua

www.faggityassfridays.blogspot.com

Friday, May 28th, 2010
10pm-3am
The Playhouse (5656 Avenue du Parc)
$10 suggested donation; all money goes to the Sense Project

FB event

Lickety Split #8: The Work Issue Launch Party and Career Day Ball!!!

Lickety Split Issue #8: The Work Issue is finally going to press!
Come get your copy of the zine and enjoy a night of great music, dancing and smut with us.
Don't forget to dress as your favourite profession!

Featuring smutty writing, art and photography by: Mark Ambrose Harris, Sophie Glowa, Samara Leibner, Valerie Webber, Farah Khan, Noisy Nora, Gloria Gloryhole, Monogamie and more!!

Slip into the staxxx with Susie Lovelace, learn how to get fabulous muscles, take more sex days, and find out how to get kinky on the cheap!

Through labour pains and stock market gains, LS #8: The Work issue has got your smutty career aspirations covered!

Music By:
Mixylodian
UN
Supr Fossl Powr
and DJ Noisy Nora

Burlesque Acts By:
Glam Gam Productions

Also, the dirty photo booth will there, so cum on camera!

$8 gets you in and a copy of the zine!
Friday, June 4th
Il Motore, 179 Jean Talon O.
Doors @ 9
Bands @ 10
Smut all night!

FB Event

The Bare Necessities!!!

Glam Glam Productions is putting on their latest burlesque act, The Bare Necessities. It is going to be wicked awesome and jungle themed... I hear there will be an elephant. Go and show your support! Everyone likes naked people! All donations and proceeds from interactive games and activities go to Head and Hands. 3 Nights!

Click here to see the Facebook invitation

A Summer Dress

This is the first clip in a short film called A Summer Dress by Francois Ozon. I used to to be able to watch the whole film on You Tube but its been taken off. If you can get your hands on the rest I recommend it. Hot characters, beautiful filming and a simple story line that toys around with gender and sexuality make this little film a very memorable one for me.

Basically, the boy on the lawn chair is uncomfortable about being out. He leaves his passionate partner and goes to the beach where a seductress takes him into the woods and has sex with him. A case of stolen clothes and dress borrowing frees the young man from his insecurities. He wears the dress home and when his lover sees him he lustily rips the dress off, they take hold of each other and screw like never before. A happy ending for all.

Who Would Not Love Beyonce????

I like this whole women's work thang she has got going on.

Highly Fuckable

if i could fuck one decade it would be the nineties.

Nominate Folks You Desire/Respect/Admire for The Highly Fuckables List! And, get the Dead Dolls to solve your Workplace Woes!

It's that time again, loverrrs! As we speedily put together Lickety Split #8: The Work Issue, we need YOU to let us know who should be on the Highly Fuckables List!

Do you know anyone you wanna nominate? Yourself maybe? It's okay. Do it. We won't tell anyone.

So, once again, let's make a big list of names of those you desire/respect/admire so that they can be included in the next issue of Lickety Split smut zine (coming out June 4th - save the date!)

So, these get PUBLISHED. So you gotta really want it, you know? Like you really gotta mean this naming of names, this big-upping of loves/friends/lovers. Once again, it's totally secret. So. Let's start! Send suggestions to "sarah AT licketysplitzine DOT com".

++++++++++++++++++++++++++++

Photo by Andrea Joy

This issue we are proud to present a new feature: Ask The Dead Dolls--a sex advice column brought to you by the sauciest, most "experienced" zombshells in town!

Having a sex-related quandary at work? Why not write in and see if these undead hussies can't help you make your boss's/co-worker's/clients's eyeballs pop with pleasure?

Don't delay! Send suggestions to "sarah AT licketysplitzine DOT com".

Summer

I finished school today and summer has flung itself on my doorstep. And I say, there's no better way to celebrate than to vote Lickety Split for Montreal Mirror's Best Maga/zine (obvi) and listen to Best Coast. The music perfectly cultivates a summer time breeziness… lazy wine drinking, pool hopping, rooftops, dancing to S Club 7 and rollin up the rim on a Horny Tim's coffee cup (WIN!) The California duo make me want to ride my bike down Parc street when its morning and the air is balmy singing out loud "I thought of you-ooooh--ohh-oooh-oh" and not caring who sees me (well, kinda caring, but not enough to stop). They make me want to fall onto that mattress on the floor in a shoe box bedroom with no air conditioning and make out for hours and hours. Best Coast makes me wanna smoke a joint, in a meadow where the grass is tall and the sky is blue (and I don’t even like weed) Bethany's voice purrs out, right at you - she sings about wishing you liked her more, how she has fun when she’s with you, how there’s something in the way you say her name. I went to the show the other night and when she sang, “I want you. I want you...soooo much” I wanted to scream, “I’m yours! I will fuck you right here, right now.” In my best (coast) fantasy, she blinks her doe eyes at me, sways behind her guitar and simply says, “Rad.”

Vote for Lickety Split in the BOM!

Dearest Lickety Loverrrs,

When you're voting for this year's "best of Montreal" in the Mirror, please remember to vote Lickety Split smut zine in the best maga/zine category!

The deadline for entries is Wednesday, April 21st at Midnight.
Vote at this link: http://bit.ly/9VT0tG

As always, thanks for yr smutty support!
XXX
Lickety Split smut zine

Vintage Vandalizm

I love this blogger...words that come to mind: sexy, strong, driven, pin up, creative, sassy! Shout outs to Lickety blog reader Becky for getting me on to this fabulous woman!

Confessions

Confession number one: I googled "Heidi Montag Plastic Surgery" tonight. But why!??? You may be wondering. You see, I had a girl crush on Heidi when the hills first came out and I was disturbed and also fascinated by the bizarre transformation she underwent. But I can tell you this: My girl crush has evaporated along with all that was natural about Heidi.

Confession number two: I also watched videos of Heidi discussing her operation. I GOT SUCKED IN, like the fat on Heidi's leg that was injected into her bum cheeks.

Confession number three: Youtube led me to watch this video posted above of Lauren Conrad on Lettermen. It made me so uncomfortable!! The guy started talking about her alleged sex tape and the tension through the screen was so intense I felt I could cut right through it with a knife. (Insert Heidi Montag Botched Surgery Pun HERE)

The reason I am posting this video is because I like how when the interviewer makes a pervy comment, Lauren clearly shows discomfort, and makes the interviewer crawl into his skin. The rest of the interview is awkward and cringe-worthy, but who cares? And although Lauren could have been more verbal, I like how she allowed the moment to get weird, instead of just letting t it roll away and disappear into the "DAMN that made me so uncomfortable and mad! I wish i said something or did something to let them know that was not okay" category of her brain.

Confession number four: It's something I'd really like to work on myself.

I really can't see myself getting so antsy about a sex tape...but If it were me on the show (live television eeeek) and he made a pervy comment, I would probably laugh it off and make a joke about seeing him naked or something, a comment which would make it possible to avoid dealing with the uncomfortable feelings brewing inside of me. I think this video serves as a good reminder to face oppressive comments straight on no matter where I am or who I am with. To engage discussion and thoughtfully address whats ticking me off.

I find Lauren Conrad as boring as a doornob for most of this video (can't she say anything interesting?) But at least she sticks to her guns...if looks could kill the guy would have been dead on the spot.)

-Jenny

Itty Bitty Titties ( . Y . )

Most movies bore me to tears. I tried watching "Taking Woodstock" last night and turned it off after twenty minutes...So slow! No story! Who cares?! But I absolutely LOVED "The Itty Bitty Titty Committee". The movie won a slew of awards, and was directed by the same woman who made "But I'm A Cheerleader". It's a radical lesbian feminist coming of age story thats political and sexy...and well, it makes me feel good about my Itty Bitty Titties
( . Y . )
TITS!!!!!!!! YEAH BOOBS! FUCK YEAH!!!!!!

Lust for LIfe: An all 70s/80s Queer Dance Partay!

Saturday April 10th--Eastern Bloc--9:30pm-3:am

Sors ton spandex et paillettes pour ton meilleur look Disco/Glam des années 70 – or your black eyeliner and lace New Wave/New Romantic look from the 80s!!

Glam hip hop ska
Funk new wave disco
Pop Soul punk

DJ Noisy Nora rockin’ it all night long!!
Elle va vous faire bouger toute la nuit!!

Viens t’amuser et danser pour seulement $8!!!
Dance the night away for only $8!!!
Eastern Bloc- 7240 Rue Clark

Who/Qui: Les femmes queer/trans and their friends!

What/Qui: An all 70s/80s Queer Dance Party!!
Cruise les filles et bouge tes fesses!!

This looks super fun, y'all! See you there!

Monday Morning Rock

The future is here...

http://dnn.thethrillhammer.com/Teledildonics/tabid/726/Default.aspx

FAF: GET SOME FUCKING SUN!!!!

Head & Hands and the Playhouse present:
FAGGITY ASS FRIDAYS: GET SOME FUCKING SUN!!!

Turn off the BayWatch; turn on the GayWatch! Speedos, one piece, two piece, no piece? Get suited up and get ready to get wet at The Playhouse on Friday, March 26th for Faggity Ass Fridays. The past few months have been long and grey, but unseasonably warm temperatures inside the Playhouse have caused mass sweating, high fevers, and veritable tidal waves of uncontrollable gyrations all winter long. Whether spring has sprung or it’s just a tease, Faggity Ass Fridays promises a much-needed hit of Vitamin D(J) with a straight-up gay-up dance party to celebrate the season.

DJs Sam, ThomCarlo and Noisy Nora will match the fresh surf with fresh beats.

PERFORMANCES:

EDDI LICIOUS and PAT MCCROTCH
(FAFs fave drag kings return!)
CONNIE LINGUA
(a queen to the max, she brings the waves to the masses)
THE BEACHED BOYS
(ukulele duo, ready to sway you with their tunes!)

As always, money raised from this monthly event goes directly to the Sense Project, Head & Hands’ inclusive, holistic sex education program.

For more info: www.senseproject.org / www.headandhands.ca / 514-481-0277.

Keep up to speedo with the Faggity Ass Blog! www.faggityassfridays.blogspot.com

Friday, March 26, 2010
10pm-3am
The Playhouse (5656 Avenue du Parc)
$10 suggested donation; all money goes to the Sense Project

FB event

We're One of Lina Harper's Favrit Tings!

Photo by Marilis Cardinal

Our lovely friend and ally Lina Harper has a great blog going on over at xtra.ca. It's called Kox and Kuntz, and today she posted a special profile of new Lickety Split editor, Sarah Beall!

In it, you'll find delectable tidbits on everything from Sarah's views on the sex positive vibe in Montreal to which public figure she thinks has "amazing top energy."

Check 'er out!

Thank You!

Hey Guys,

Thanks to all of you who have been supporting Lickety Split over the last few months by coming to our dance parties. Last night's Spring Break '98 party was a huge success and we're feeling cool as cucumbers about being able to cover our printing costs.

XXX
Lickety Split smut zine

P.S. For those of you who couldn't make it or simply want to relive all the 90s awesomeness, here is a classic that had me dancing like nobody's business!

Punk Rock Sexxx

Support bloggers, especially smutty ones, especially smutty punk... read it and jack off

http://deadamericandream.blogspot.com/2010/03/69-punk-rock-sexxx.html

XXX

work that elastic, its looking fantastic.

"when I place my legs in a cage of spandex, i dance like hell to release the madness.
watch my feet pound holes in ply wood, watch my hips crush plates of baked goods!"
-Leslie Hall of Leslie and the Ly's.

i just read about her here a very fascinating woman!

im making this song an official request for lickety splits spring break dance party! i'll be the one dancing in tight pants. so watch out for my body rolls.
see you there!!

xoxo

Lickety Split Smut zine presents: Smut on the Dance Floor-Spring Break '98 Edition!!!!

Bust out that old neon bikini or the speedo that has been forgotten about and left in the back of your drawer because it is Spring Break!
OMG!!!OMG!!!OMG!!!

We are so close to meeting our fundraising goal for our next issue so we need YOU to come out and support us and get your dancing groove on to some rockin' 90's tunes, because a proper spring break only really exists in the 90's.

The 20th of March is the first day of spring so I think a dance party is in order.

The dancing starts at midnight, with bands at 11 pm.

DJs
Muscle man
Cat-a-Strofik

Le Belmont
$5-10 (100% of profits go directly into pitching tents and keeping panties wet)


DO IT!!!!!!!!!!!
It's going to be awesome!!!!!!

The Finer Details:
Saturday, March 20th, 2010
11 pm-3 am
Le Belmont
4483 St-Laurent (near rue Mont-Royal)

FB event

Beyond Human: The Sexy Robot Edition

Looks like Rhianna got those hunky robots a little too excited with her not so subtle song stylings!

Impromptu poll:

Robot Bukkake-Hotttt? Society is not ready? Yawn?

Let a girl know, ya'll.

Seriously though, do you have any thoughts about this fairly tongue and cheek approach to the money shot? Maybe Rhianna is a fan of a little squirt in the face? Should I lay off on a critique lest it lead to moral panic? Is what goes on between a horny robot and his consenting lady friend on the privacy of their own stage really my concern?

Here's the full performance for the curious:

Fabulously Femme! Listen to the Audio Smut Femme Edition Online!

Discussing Femme identity with so many fabulous femmes last Wednesday on Audio Smut almost immediately became one of my personal highlights for 2010.

Missed the show? Fear not, young smutster, for it is available online on the Audio Smut blog!

Audio Smut Presents: Femme

Listen in to CKUT 90.3 fm onWednesday, March 3rd at 6 pm for Femme -- an entire hour of radio dedicated to discussing femme identity and what it means to a variety of self-identified femmes!!

Expect :

~ Audiocollage decadence of Femmechats

~ Interviews with Amber Dawn (With a Rough Tongue: Femmes Write Porn) and Rachel Kramer Bussel (Glamour Girls: Femme/Femme Erotica)

+++A roundtable talk live instudio with self-identified femmes and femme loverrrrs (Including yours truly!) about Femme IDs and more

- When do we feel the most femme?
- Is it radical to be femme? Is it not?
- How do we "do" femme?

Wednesday, March 3rd
6-7 pm
CKUT 90.3 fm or ckut.ca

Audio smut blog

FB event

VIDEO DANCE KARAOKE FOR LICKETY SPLIT!!

HAVE YOU EVER BEEN WATCHING A MUSIC VIDEO OF SHAKIRA, BEYONCE, CIARA, JANET JACKSON, MICHAEL JACKSON, WHOEVER and been like DAMN I COULD DO THAT?
like not in a mtv becoming way but in a 'i danced in my room and posted this on youtube' kinda way?
but in front of a bunch of people kinda way?

NOW YOU CAN!!!

This Saturday at Cagibi, 2Realcrew presents DANCE VIDEO KARAOKE where you can chose any youtube video you want, act out the dance sequence, and strut your stuff!!!

like this dude:



Or these fine freak bitch babies:



Normal karaoke also available, but dancing strongly encouraged.

5$ suggested donation - proceeds go to Lickety Split.

//////////////IT'S YOUR TIME TO SHINE\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\

Saturday, March 6, 2010
9pm-3am
@ Cagibi, 5490 St-Laurent

FB event

What's a Word's Worth?

I think I'm in love! A "Wordy Rappinghood" cover by Chicks on Speed? Yes, please.

I've been on a pretty tight writing deadline over the past few days and during my dancearoundmyroom breaks I've been listening to the Tom Tom Club version of this song on a loop.

My favourite line: "Words are like a certain person--don't say what they mean, don't mean what they say."

Seriously, I want to have an art orgy with all the members of chicks on speed and Tina Weymouth from Tom Tom Club where we're all clad in asymmetrical paper dresses and yell out catchy lyrics about semiotics as we're cumming. David Byrne can join in too.

Added bonus: "Glamour Girl" by Chicks on Speed.



Can these women do no wrong? I love the trashy, European dance video from the 90s feel almost as much as I like making fun of myself while I sing this song.

Oh, the places you'll go and the things you'll come to know: the internet edition

If the personal is political, and everyday the internet is inundated with up to the minute personal info and stories about complete strangers, the good old world wide web must be a pretty politically charged space, non?

Yes, yes, I believe it is. But what kind of politics are these stories espousing? Well, darlin', that seems to be up to the army of bloggers out there staking their claims in the latest overshare scandals.

First up: Two teachers in Manitoba are suspended from work after students film them engaging in a pretty convincing lap dance, complete with pantomimed cunnilingus, during a good, old, wholesome pep rally. One is dressed as a teacher and the other is dressed as a football player. A pretty staid role playing/gender bending exercise in the bedroom--but is it too hot for homeroom?



Next: A young woman gets her lady bits VAGAZZLED and takes a few quick snaps for the folks at home. I guess cunt aesthetics are a matter of taste and personal choice, but I'm still wondering whether this kind of bling might interfere with my DDHRR or desired daily head receiving rate. I mean, what's a girl to do? Of course, Jezebel weighs in, and asks a few dudes what they think of the trend while completely overlooking the opinions of partners of non-heterosexual women. Tsk, tsk, ladies.


Finally, last but certainly not least, an American woman who calls herself AngieAnti-Theist live tweets her abortion. Check out the vid of her below and read more on the awesome Atomic Sex blog.

Girl, Get Nastyyyyy

All I wanna do is ziga zig-ahh!

Work Issue Submission Deadline in One Week!!!

Hey Y'all,

This is just a friendly little reminder that the deadline for submissions for the upcoming work issue is in one week! We've already received some great proposals and our panties continue to grow ever wetter in anticipation of even more smutty work-related ideas. To say it's getting hot and moist in here would be an incredible understatement.

XXX
Lickety Split

P.S.

If you're thinkin' 'bout submitting, why not refresh yourself with our submission and photo guidelines.

Questions? Comments? Unbridled passion? Contact Sarah@licketysplitzine.com

I'll Make some coffee, put on some eyeliner...

I'll watch this Jon Lajoie video and give my feminist funny bone a little boost in spite of myself...



Have you ever seen something as problematic and objectifying as rap lyrics satirized into complete submission so darn quickly?

I guess it's the simple pleasures that'll help get this feminist through hump day.

Post title inspired by Le Tigre's Much Finer

No Clue? Try, No Homo

Check out this hilarious and incredibly astute discussion of the ludicrous use of the phrase "no homo" in recent rap songs. I could explain more but the clip goes everywhere I can think of, with of course, some of the MCs going even further. Enjoy!

That Girl Thinks She's the Queen of the Neighbourhood

I've got news for you--she is!

Check out this rebel yell of an interview with Kathleen Hanna, one of the original instigators of riot grrrl. Hanna recently donated her archived zines to NYU and she talks about her views on zines and blogs about halfway through the clip.



I think I wanna be her best friend, yeah!

Wa Wa Wee Wa

I've heard Christina Hendricks is getting a little tired of talking about her rockin' bod. As such, this post is all about keeping my lips sealed and my eyes wide open. Rowr.

Faggity Ass Friday>Hanky Code Night!!

Head and Hands / The Playhouse present...
FAGGITY ASS FRIDAY
Hanky Code Night

To the left, or, to the right, you’d better learn your hanky code for Hanky Code Night, be ready to flag and flag proud!
The night is packed with music, and our performers promise to leave you flagging and panting. Dinah Thorpe is a wicked multi-instrumentalist with a low, smoky alto. Nolan Natasha is a transgender Toronto MC with sick flow. Joseph Gabereau plays gothic disco and dance torch with heavy cabaret overtones. DJ Torus, DJ What is Up, and Karn throw down beats all night long, while you try to tell the difference between robins egg and sky blue.

CHECK OUT THE OFFICIAL FAGGITY ASS HANKY CODE AT www.faggityassfriday.blogspot.com

DJs:
Karn (myspace.com/hardhardkarn)
DJ Torus (myspace.com/DJTORUS
DJ What is Up

Music By:
Nolan Natasha (myspace.com/nolannatasha) Toronto
Joseph Gapereau (myspace.com/ josephgabereau) Montreal
Dinah Thorpe (myspace.com/dinahthorpe) Toronto

As always, money raised from this monthly event goes directly to the Sense Project. www.senseproject.org For more info: www.headandhands.ca / 514-481-0277.

Friday, Februrary 26th 2010
10pm-3am
The Playhouse (5656 Avenue du Parc)
$10 suggested donation; all money goes to the Sense Project

FB Event

Thanks, Up Yours!

Britney whips the paparazzi into a frenzy in The Visible Vagina Exhibit in NYC

Big ups to the fine folks of Up Yours for throwing such a humdinger of a soiree at Playhouse on Friday night! Thanks to their mad party throwing skills and your generous help, we were able to raise over $300 towards the next issue of Lickety Split! We're already 2/3 of the way there, smutsketeers!

Also, a huge shout out to the lovely Julie, Mitra and Lisa who have been busting their cute little asses over the past few months in order to make all these amazing parties happen. Y'all are the dream team.

XXX
Sarah

Now, in celebration, please enjoy some more pics from The Visible Vagina Exhibit happening right now at the David Nolan Gallery. I think I'll probably check it out in person when I migrate South for a week at the end of the month.

Caroll Dunham, "Untitled"

Judy Chicago, "Red Flag"

Peter Saul, "Relax Sonny"

Lickety + Toronto Radio + Today = BFF

Dear Lovely Toronto Smutsters,

I'll be talkin' 'bout Lickety Split today on Sex City sometime between 5 and 6. Why not tune in to CIUT 89.5 FM and have a listen? I mean, if it tickles your fancy and all.

xxx
Sarah

The Only Timepiece You'll Ever Need

I'm waiting for someone to come up with an iphone app that's this direct.

Lickety Split smut zine Presents: Make Love to that Mic Girl! All female MC night!!!

Our last party was so wicked and awesome that we thought we would keep going with the theme, except this time we actually have real live female MCs.
Yes! they are REAL and Yes! they are alive!

Performances By:
Giselle Numba One
http://www.myspace.com/gisellenumbaone

VERA w/ ROLYWRA

T-Cup
http://www.myspace.com/tcupyo

9pm
$5-10 Donations which all go straight into funding out next launch (we are more than half way there!)

Come out and support you local female MCs and indy porn!

*** The is an early show, punctuality is appreciated***

Friday, Feb 12
Green Room/Salon Vert
5386 St-Laurent
8:30pm-12 pm
$5-10 Sliding scale donation at the door

FB event

7th Annual Anti-Valentines Day Party at the Co-op Bookstore!

Be sure to make it to this great event before you shimmy on over to Smut on the Dance Floor: Make Love to that Mic Girl! at Green Room.

Lickety Split has a long tradition of participating in events at the Co-op and although we may not be there in the sexy flesh, we will be there in spirit (and in the form of naughty projections! Whoo hoo!).

The Co-op Bookstore's 7th Annual Anti-Valentine's Day Event!
Featuring Acoustic sets by
* NIGHTWOOD
* WE'RE COMING!

Featuring Readings / Spoken Word by
* DANIEL ALLEN COX
* TERRINE FRIDAY
* LINA HARPER

Featuring Awkward silences (aka, comedy stylings) by
* Larissa "Lit Pimp" Dutil

The Co-op Bookstore will hold its seventh annual Anti-Valentine's Day Event on Friday, February 12th starting at 7:30 p.m. The event will be held at the Co-op Bookstore, located at 2150 Bishop, and will feature acoustic musical performances by Nightwood and We’re Coming; a salacious reading by local celebrity author Daniel Allen Cox, as well as spoken word by Terrine Friday, and lust-filled rants by Lina Harper. Always wanting to be a part of the fun, Larissa “Lit Pimp” Dutil will once again make everyone feel awkward with her F’d comedy stylings. Smutty visuals & artwork by local scenesters will be projected throughout the evening. This event is a co-presentation with The Women’s Studies Student Association (W.S.S.A.)

Admission is by suggested donation of $5, though no one will be turned
away. Entry donation includes one free ticket for the event's raffle.
Refreshments will also be available for a small donation.

Friday, February 12
The Co-op Bookstore
2150 Bishop
7:30 pm - 10 pm

FB event

Audio Smut Presents: Workin' at Cleo!

Image by Vivien Lueng

Check out what sounds like an amazing hour of radio on today's edition of audio smut. Between 6 and 7 pm, on CKUT, you can hear "delicious documentaries" about:

-The Trans Beginnings of Cafe Cleopatra
-Drag Queens of Cafe Cleopatra
-Stories from the alternative arts and fetish scenes (Club sin and the Dead Dolls)

And much, much more!

Tune in to CKUT 90.3 FM or go to CKUT.ca to listen.

FB Event

Check out some of Lickety's earlier blog coverage about the developments on the lower main.

Up Yours! Benefit for Lickety Split this Friday!

Have you ever seen Richard Simmons so excited? Yes folks, it's all because of sex positive pansexual smut!!

PERFORMANCES BY:
VINCENT LOEB-CHEVAL HAY
JORDAN A
TIANA
DIDITV

DJS:
4ever20
DISCOGEEK
CATASTROFIK
MUSCLEMAN

DOORS AT TEN
PERFORMANCES AT ELEVEN THIRTY
EVERYBODY NAKKID BY TWELVE
PROCEEDS GO TO LICKETY SPLIT SMUT ZINE

Work Issue Muse: Depeche Mode's Master and Servant

In response to Jenny's enthusiastic post about Nouvelle Vague's cover of "Master and Servant," I've decided to post the original. Well known for their ability to make you think of dark, sexy, forbidden things faster than you can whisper your safe word, Depeche Mode excels at fetishizing power relations every time lead singer Dave Gahan opens his mouth.

This song and video in particular comments on the oppressive everyday power relations that make our (capitalist) world turn in a way that reflects some of the thoughts I've been having about what kind of content I'd like to include in the upcoming work issue.

Folks who take a pro-BDSM stance often talk about the way in which these everyday oppressive power relations can be subverted through sexual play. Depeche Mode says "it's a lot like life."

I think I'll be listening to this quite a bit while I try and come up with the kinkiest way possible to bring representations of capitalist exploitation to their knees in the next issue.

Misogyny 101

The National Post's editorial board has written a nice little rant on the tyranny of women's studies programs and the policies they produce. It's good to know we're so effective, hm? Cleverly, in arguing against women's studies programs, they prove why they're still needed. Very sly NP, very sly.

Link here.

FAGAGATY ASS FRIDAYS!!!!

Head and Hands and The Playhouse present...
FaGAGAty Ass Fridays:
Lady GaGa Night!!!!

More Gaga than you can shake a disco stick at. Faggity Ass Fridays promises to deliver the ultimate Gaga tribute video: real life edition. Bring your wigs, your bodysuits, and well, whatever crazy thing you want to append to your body down to the Playhouse for a night of just dancin’ and bad romancin’.

DRESS UPPPPP! (cuz you're a freak bitch, baby!)

As always, money raised from this monthly event goes directly to the Sense Project, Head & Hands’ inclusive, holistic sex education program. For more info, see www.senseproject.org and www.headandhands.ca.

Lady Gaga tribute cabaret:
Miss Cookies
Johnny Forever
Daniel Dance
Kitty Van Dyke
nancyboy vicious
Stefan LeDude
The Insatiable Ana Key

Hosted by: Douche La Douche

Commune and consume with RPM
http://rovingpartymachine.wordpress.com/

DJ Like the Wolf
DJ Fucks
OCDJ

Friday, January 29th 2010
10pm-3am
The Playhouse (5656 Avenue du Parc)
$10 suggested donation; all money goes to the Sense Project

GIRL GANG 1.0, GIRL GANG 2.0

& remember:

New Favorite Song

Master and Servant by Nouvelle Vague

It's a lot
It's a lot
Like life

There's a new game
We like to play you see
A game with added reality
You treat me like a dog
Get me down on my knees

We call it master and servant
We call it master and servant

SEXXXY.

Went to Smut on the Dance-floor last night and had the most fun I've had in weeks! Thanks to Sarah, and Mitra, the sexy DJ's and the folks at Silver Door for creating such an amazing event. Whens the next one? Where do I sign up? And can someone remix Master and Servant? That is my new dancing dream.

-Jenny

Interview with Mark Harris of Xtra!

A couple of weeks ago, I sat down with the lovely Mark Harris to discuss all things Lickety Split! Wearing a Diamanda Galas T-shirt, suspenders and chipped black nail polish, Mark typed furiously on his laptop as we discussed everything from the queer community in Turkey to sex work.

Check it out!

Yay for Artisticthings.com

So my friend did a nice little write up about Lickety Split for this super sweet blog artisticthings.com.

Go check out the blog and click on all the links (because girl needs to get paid!).

Here is the link to the article.

xoxo

Smut on the Dance Floor: The Nasty Ass Bitches Edition!

All female MC night (say whaaaaatttt?!?)
Yeah, that's right we are having one throw down to big ups all the female MC's out there!
So cum and bump n' grind to all your favorite ladies for your favorite zine.

On the ones and twos we have:
MLBRN
Muscle Man
Noisy Nora
Salivation Army
Flying Love Muffins'
And More!

Tell your friends, aunts and g-ma's about the hottest party thrown by the hottest little zine that could.
All proceeds from the event go directly into funding our next launch.

As always, we would love to have volunteers helps us out, so if anyone is interested please feel free to contact us!

Friday, January 22nd
11 pm-4 am @ Silver Door
6502 Avenue du Parc

NOT A BYOB EVENT

FB event: http://www.facebook.com/sarah.beall?ref=profile#/event.php?eid=259710434216&ref=mf

Submission Deadline for LS #8 ***Extended*** to March 1st, 2010

Dearest Smut-skateers,

The submission deadline for Lickety Split smut zine #8: The Work Issue has been extended to March 1st, 2010 !!!

Now you have more time than ever to perfect your smutty pitch and show us just how hard you can work it!

Keep abreast (heh) of our submission guidelines and call-out on our blog: http://bit.ly/licketyworkissue &
http://bit.ly/Licketyphotoguidelines

And, check out this little vid on what it takes to put out each issue of Lickety Split! http://bit.ly/8Yh4CK

XXX
Lickety Split smut zine